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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I forgot to pick up dc's classmate from school

216 replies

johnwinstonlennon · 17/08/2019 22:04

Once a week they play football after classes finish. On this particular day, I received a phone call from another mum inviting dc to a playover -after classes, they were skipping football. I said fine and kept on working at the office. I leave the office and, while grocery shopping, my mobile rings. It was another child's mum, I am supposed to take him home on football day. It had completely slipped my mind. She started yelling and being very aggressive. It was only 5 minutes past the hour, so I said why don't you call so and so. She hanged up. I froze. Long story short, she insists that I am at fault for bringing out violence in her. WTF?? Apparently -this has never happened before- her child had to leave with the football teacher because he had to pick up his car from the mechanic's. Now, this mum is not the kind who worries about pedophiles -I am!-, so I just do not see why the anger. She even said to another mum that she wanted to have me killed.

OP posts:
bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 02:08

You are being ridiculous. You think a person who can't read English would be able to identify you if you mentioned what COUNTRY you live in Confused

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:09

beautiful3 says "I would be upset if you forgot to collect my child too. I would fully expect an apology. However the level of anger and words used by the other mum, are completely over the top." exactly. And you didn't hear the audios! frightening.

OP posts:
johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:12

bouncingraindrops I know, I might be a tad paranoid. You will be too if you had gone through what I have gone through. I am talking about doors kicked, windows smashed, hard drugs -him-, constant violence -mostly psychological, a few times physical- death threats, dc abducted 3 times, family courts, police, judges, the works.

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 18/08/2019 02:14

I think now we know kids are 12 & 13 the other mum completely overreacted, the boys could have waited a few minutes. Completely ridiculous behaviour. Most kids this age make their own way home.

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:14

pamperramper thank you

OP posts:
Bookworm4 · 18/08/2019 02:14

@johnwinstonlennon
I hope your son doesn’t go to their home, Id withdraw from this woman.

LovePoppy · 18/08/2019 02:16

A dad forgets to get his child and picks him up late....everyone defends dad because he works long hours and it could happen to anyone

OP forgets to get a friends child, she’s the worst ever

Strange place

bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 02:18

bouncingraindrops I know, I might be a tad paranoid. You will be too if you had gone through what I have gone through.

Hold on, you have NO IDEA what I have been through. Don't make assumptions.

I asked the age of the kids and what country because it would give some perspective to the thread, that's all. I'm not about to play a game of 'my life has been worse than yours' but please don't assume you are the only person who has had it tough.

You hid behind domestic violence for no reason, it certainly isn't the reason you didn't name the country.

At 12/13 there is no reason for any reaction to forgetting other than to sort it out. I would want to know why her kid went off with the teacher and not phone her, or wait.

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:19

LL83 what is it that I don't get? that she might be angry? there is angry and there is violent.
If it would have been the other way round, I would have said "fuuuuuuuuck!!!!" I run or tell the other one to run over there. I will not get aggressive to another person for forgetting! How could you be if it was not done on purpose!
Maybe I am stupidly nice.
Should I be more violent? that seems to be the prevalent notion in some of the comments, like it is ok to be so even about a mistake. Jesus!!

OP posts:
johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:20

bookworm4 and LovePoppy thank you

OP posts:
johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:26

bouncingraindrops I didn't mean to offend you nor am I looking for pity! remember this is my second language please. I just stated the facts, my facts. Maybe I didn't express myself well, please do not take it like that.
why would you say that I hide behing domestic violence? I think I mentioned that my ex is a psycho, so I still feel at danger. Even writing in the internet, in a language he doesn't understand. I have written about him in this forum, so who knows, maybe somebody here knows him or his new wife -she understands English- realises who I am and that would not be good. Long stretch I know.

OP posts:
johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:28

celebelly exactly. Today she was way calmer, she even apologised. That is not good, people getting violent and then apologising for it. Do not get violent to begin with, then you will have nothing to apologise for.

OP posts:
bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 02:29

remember this is my second language please.

Remember? Are you serious?

bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 02:31

why would you say that I hide behing domestic violence?

I said that because I asked what country not street name you lived in and you straight away said you could not tell because of your ex and domestic violence. He doesn't even read English!

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:37

bouncingraindrops I do not understand your change of tone. why are you saying this? "Remember? Are you serious?"

OP posts:
PlaceYourItemInTheBaggingArea · 18/08/2019 02:38

The more children people have the more they think 'meh' to someone forgetting to pick one of theirs up.

WTAF? Fuck off with your goody fucker comments.

ReginaGeorgeIsAFuglySlut · 18/08/2019 02:38

Op for somebody struggling with using English as a second language, you sure were quick to point out another's posters mistake in using giving when they meant given... Hmm

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:39

bouncingraindrops it is not a country represented in this forum I am sure. So I would stand out like a sore thumb. I wouldn't like that for the above mentioned reasons.

OP posts:
bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 02:39

It's because you said

remember this is my second language please

My change of tone was a bit of a WTF.

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:42

georginageorgeisafuglyslut did not intend it as a put down! making sure more like it.
what a strange mood in some comments! seems that some pick up bad things where there are none! malicious really.

OP posts:
bouncingraindrops · 18/08/2019 02:43

My apologies OP, I have just scrolled back to check and you did mention in a post that English is not your own language.

I'm sorry I missed that. I was baffled that you were telling me to remember something I didn't know. Turns out I just hadn't seen it. Sorry.

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 02:46

bouncingraindrops thank you.
and if I do not hit the right tone is because of the language. Sorry.

OP posts:
Fatasfooook · 18/08/2019 02:53

You both sound mental

johnwinstonlennon · 18/08/2019 03:05

fatasfooook who does? and what would be your advice?

OP posts:
Belfield · 18/08/2019 03:14

I haven't read the whole thread but I would be annoyed if you didn't collect my son but wouldn't get aggressive about it. I would expect an apology though and I would cancel the arrangement as you don't seem too sorry so will probably do it again. The trying to kill came from a third party so I would take with a pinch of salt she probably meant she could kill you