Is it rude for my partner to get up and add leftovers to the meal I just made him or am I just hormonal ??

[Hidingfrommyfamily]

Hello there- I’m wondering if you could clear up a question around table manners please?
For a family evening dinner a member of the family cooks a homemade pie and a vegetable salad. It takes quite a while and care is taken to present the meal.
The person it is served to picks at the parts of the salad they like and then goes to the kitchen and brings back some leftover cold veg from the fridge and adds it to the meal. Is this bad table manners?

**

I love pie and salad.

Would never serve it though. I know it’s weird.

@ispepsiokay

What the hell are "leftover yorkshire puddings"?? There's no such thing in our house

I'm guessing vegetable salad means non starchy veg like lettuce, cucumber, radishes etc i.e. normal salad as opposed to potato salad?

YABU OP.

What's vegetable salad?

Blimey, you are being ridiculous. And your further comment about it not being his home it's yours, I'm assuming means you don't live together?

I must admit I really fancy a nice crisp home made coleslaw right now.

I just need a nice fresh cabbage. I have the rest all growing nicely at the allotment.

Can we add ' you are being ridiculous ' to the voting options?

He’s a member of the family, but you’re doing all the paying for the home, and the cooking and cleaning.

You’ve got bigger problems than whether it’s acceptable to dictate to a grown man whether he can have more veg or not.

Monogrammed mystery pie and veg salad (whatever the fuck that is). We need answers OP, ANSWERS

Stop saying you are hormonal as if that's an excuse!

So you’re upset that he added more vegetables to his vegetables?

I need answers to everyone else’s questions!!!

An adult who doesn’t contribute to the household (whether financially or in practical terms, eg cooking and cleaning) isn’t a family member; they are a guest...

I am so glad that MN still has these types of thread.

Am NC to Monogrammed mystery pie next.

Ah, yes - "hormonal". The universal codeword used by abusive and controlling women everywhere...

Ah come on OP I’ve read the whole thread hoping to find out what kind of pie has an initial on it and what is in a veg salad, how was it carefully presented and what did he add to make you so pissed off?

Dunno. But I don't know why everyone's being so weird about the idea of veg salad - it isn't that unheard of is it? Courgettes thinly sliced with dressing on? Artichokes? Green beans (like in nicoise). Cold roasted peppers?

I had made little pastry letters and put them on the pies for each of us.

This and the way you have phrased your original post, never mind the "vegetable salad", leads me to think you have more issues than your partner's alleged poor table manners.

BTW, I don't think it is rude for someone to go to the fridge and add something to the meal in their own home. The vegetables would have to be eaten anyway.

I think I'll go out for a meat salad tonight (a kebab for those wondering what a meat salad is)

So you are upset he wanted to eat the leftover veg with the meal you had made instead of eating the meal you had made and then eating the left over veg on it's own?? Are you this controlling over every aspect of your relationship??

I think I know what went wrong here and it's really just an unfortunate misunderstanding...

You used the pastry letters to spell out "Love You" on your partner's pie.
Unfortunately, the spring onion and perhaps a radish somehow covered up the first word.

Because of the tension in the air, your partner glanced at his pie and misinterpreted it as saying "Fuck you"!

Deeply hurt, he went to the fridge to console himself with some gherkins and a dab of hummus.

Am I right?

I think that you should cut him some slack (and perhaps a piece of cheese).

A vegetable salad is just regular salad no? Salad is veg!

Vegetable salad? 🤔 The mind boggles. Does that mean a normal salad of lettuce, cucumber, grated carrot, onion (tomatoes are fruit........ apparently... though I dont think many people would incorporate tomatoes into their fruit salad) or are we talking about coleslaw? Either way what pie should be served with salad or coleslaw? Quiche maybe??

Can quiche be called a pie? Quiche is quiche right?

Pie is something that contains meat, veg and gravy. Definately not to be served with salad 🤮

Why do people like you blame everything on being "hormonal" you make us women look stupid!

Oh God, I could not agree more! My oldest friend (I've known her since she was born, we are now in our 50s) has blamed her bad behaviour on being hormonal all her adult life. I asked her what she was going to do once she's through the menopause and can't blame her hormones any more. Needless to say she didn't have an answer.

We undermine ourselves every time we declare "I'm hormonal" or "I can't come to work because I've got period pains". It makes me so angry (and yes, I do know how debilitating period pains can be).

Sorry I have been very rude and COMPLETELY derailed the thread but that's been building for years and I really was beginning to think I was the only person who felt that way.

As you were...

YABU . The man can eat what he wants .

You are very controlling . If you don’t like him depending on you ask him to move out .
But if you agree to let him depend on you , then you need to have the basic human rights of eating what he wants to eat .

The bigger problem is probably how you feel about his depending on you , and it certainly sounds unfair , and you need to make some changes to ensure that your relationship is a bit more balanced