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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it rude for my partner to get up and add leftovers to the meal I just made him or am I just hormonal ??

219 replies

Hidingfrommyfamily · 12/08/2019 21:42

Hello there- I’m wondering if you could clear up a question around table manners please?
For a family evening dinner a member of the family cooks a homemade pie and a vegetable salad. It takes quite a while and care is taken to present the meal.
The person it is served to picks at the parts of the salad they like and then goes to the kitchen and brings back some leftover cold veg from the fridge and adds it to the meal. Is this bad table manners?

OP posts:
Namechangeforthiscancershit · 12/08/2019 23:23

TELL US WHAT IS IN A VEGETABLE SALAD

Sorry! Now that's out, YABU to mind. Waste not want not.

sackrifice · 12/08/2019 23:24

I agree salad with pie is wrong. If the leftover veg was roast potatoes, mash or any other potato based left overs then to be honest, you should have thought that through and got them on the plate yourself; unless you were saving them for yourself in which case, get better at hiding stuff.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 12/08/2019 23:24

@HerculesMulligan cheese pie? I've never heard of one of those let alone have one! I feel like I've been missing out

AquaPris · 12/08/2019 23:25

You're not hormonal you're just touchy

Tigger001 · 12/08/2019 23:26

Absolutely not rude and using up leftovers rather than them going to waste. Good thing in my books.

Drpeppered · 12/08/2019 23:28

whenIsnapped you’ve never had cheese and onion pie????

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 12/08/2019 23:28

@Drpeppered cheese and onion pasties, never in a pie!

Onesailwait · 12/08/2019 23:30

@HerculesMulligan I am willing to consider salad with cheese pie if there was no beans & brown sauce to be found.

arethereanyleftatall · 12/08/2019 23:31

Now, I really like a hot chicken pie with a creamy sauce and a crunchy fresh salad. Is that weird?

neverdrinkingagain66 · 12/08/2019 23:31

YABVU. Let the man live.

MyOtherProfile · 12/08/2019 23:36

Could it be a cold piece of left over pie? Salad would be fine with that.

I did get the impression from the OP that they have pie and salad every day. Now that would be wrong.

Coffeeandchocolate9 · 12/08/2019 23:36

Vegetable salad conjours up to me that slightly odd but quite nice heinz sandwich paste, or that funny thing with peas and sweetcorn in mayonnaise. I quite like it, but not with any type of pie.

Depends if you put a sprig of parsley on it though.

jesuschristwtf · 12/08/2019 23:37

Maybe he just didn’t like your salad?

jesuschristwtf · 12/08/2019 23:38

Also. Why on Earth do you have salad when a pie - that’s just odd.

partysong · 12/08/2019 23:40

@WhenISnappedAndFarted Shock you've never had cheese pie?!! Oh my, it's fabulous stuff. Get thee off to a pub lunch somewhere ASAP

Original poster
Hidingfrommyfamily · 12/08/2019 23:41

He brought it in and I said that there was already extra veg in the pie.. it was pretty big and I had put extra veg in with the salad too .. I had made little pastry letters and put them on the pies for each of us.
I realised I was being a bit hormonal so said nothing but he said what was wrong and I said I would have preferred he eat that first and then I’d heat up the other if needed after and he said it was his home and he’d do what he wanted. It just felt upsetting after I had put a lot of effort into it

OP posts:
OverpricedFloorCushion · 12/08/2019 23:42

I do this all the time. DP is really fussy and wont add muvh to a meal beyond chips or potatoes... I often get extra veg etc to add to my plate.

Its hardly rude in your own home and not like he turned his nose up at the rest of ghe meal.

kateandme · 12/08/2019 23:42

haha my dadwent to the fridge and brought a whole leftover roast chicken from yesterday to mums pie tonight!

FifteenYemenRoadYemen · 12/08/2019 23:45

Why do people like you blame everything on being "hormonal" you make us women look stupid!

YES. THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS!

arethereanyleftatall · 12/08/2019 23:45

Op, hormonal or not, getting upset about this kind of thing doesn't make your life happier. These things don't matter.

FifteenYemenRoadYemen · 12/08/2019 23:46

As for you, yes YABU, who the hell gets upset or annoyed over such a normal thing it is beyond ridiculous and somewhat controlling. How would you feel if he got annoyed with you and gave you attitude if you went and added something extra to a meal?

It's all pathetic quite frankly. It's almost like purposely making someone uncomfortable and acting as if you've been hard done by over fuck all.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 12/08/2019 23:47

@partysong you don't happen to know any London pubs that do them?!

Doubletrouble99 · 12/08/2019 23:48

But OP you haven't answered the vexed questions everyone want an answer to - why Salad with pie, what was in the pie and exactly what is vegetable salad?

Sunbeam18 · 12/08/2019 23:48

What's vegetable salad?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 12/08/2019 23:48

@Hidingfrommyfamily but he still ate the pie? He ate the parts of the salad he liked so what's the problem of adding more vege?