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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my step mother to put a bit of effort into a small favour I'm doing her...?

242 replies

CarolineTheChemist · 16/07/2019 15:40

Hello Mumsnetters!
I need your honest and brutal opinions...

A few months ago I moved into a beautiful old house and decided to make a new name sign for the front gate as the existing one was horrible. I paint as a hobby so I'm good with a paintbrush, and the old owners had kindly left some old bits of wood and a pot of black wood paint in the garage.

I spent ages looking for a font that I felt reflected the character of the house and it's quirky name. Once DH and I had chosen our favourite font, I painted an old plank black, stencilled the house name on the wood and filled it with white acrylic. Naturally as a painted I enjoyed this and got a lot of satisfaction when I hung it on the gate.

This weekend we had a house warming party and I got a lot of compliments on my new sign. My step mother asked me to make her one as she doesn't like their current one. One of my nearby neighbours drove past recently and later text me asking where I got it from, so I offered to make her one too.

I spent some time looking up fonts for both of them - they both have different style houses so I spent some time thinking about what might suit them, and gave them about 30/40 examples to choose their faves from. My step mother hasn't looked at the options I sent her, and instead has just replied saying she wants hers to be the same font as mine.

I don't feel okay about that. They live about 15 miles away so I guess it's not really a big deal, but I spent so much time choosing a font to reflect the character of our house that I don't like it that she's not putting in that effort for hers.

I glibly replied to her earlier saying she could only have that font if she could pick it out of the selection I sent her. Now I regret that as it could be seen as a bit childish.... When I agreed to make her one I didn't expect her to want the exact same thing as ours.

The question is am I being unreasonable in feeling irritated by this?

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 16/07/2019 15:45

Yes. She liked your sign. She wants that font. She probably isn’t even thinking that you may not want the same font for her house. She may not even know what a font is! Maybe she can’t imagine it in another style. I don’t think it’s a matter of her being too lazy to look at what you gave her - she’s probably thinking she’s already seen the one she wants - on the sign you did for yourself.

BlueSkiesLies · 16/07/2019 15:45

Yes YABU

She said she liked YOUR sign i.e. including the font!

Maybesunshineafterall · 16/07/2019 15:46

Yep you are BU.

StCharlotte · 16/07/2019 15:46

Sorry but I think YABU.

Don't you think it's the font that attracted her? You've effectively chosen for her already.

I too wanted a particular font for my house sign but not everyone is that interested in that sort of detail and I think you are over-thinking this hugely.

And, as you say, she lives 15 miles away...

Maybesunshineafterall · 16/07/2019 15:47

Don't get irritated OP, take it as a compliment! She thinks your work's great - that's fantastic. Nothing to get irritated about.

ShinyMe · 16/07/2019 15:49

I agree with the others, yabu. She likes your sign, including the font.

Also, in my opinion, I just can't imagine spending "ages" picking a font - surely for many people it's a pretty quick decision. Plus I think 30-40 options is far too many for some people to choose from

Jeezoh · 16/07/2019 15:49

You’re at risk of sounding a bit precious about a sign, just make her the one she’s said she likes Smile

Baguetteaboutit · 16/07/2019 15:50

I glibly replied to her earlier saying she could only have that font if she could pick it out of the selection I sent her.

😂

She liked your sign. She didn't ask you to set her house up with the perfect font. You are being ridiculous.

kittie01 · 16/07/2019 15:50

Yabu. Who cares if she has the same font as you. If only all life’s problems were this small

TulipsTwoLips · 16/07/2019 15:52

YABU

DoneLikeAKipper · 16/07/2019 15:53

The question is am I being unreasonable in feeling irritated by this?

I mean, do you really have to ask? It’s a sign, not a personality test. Though I’d love to see that on Buzzfeed - ‘pick your personality traits and we’ll tell you what wanky sign to put up on your house!’.

Either make the sign she asked for it don’t. Don’t infantilise her with a ‘selection of appropriate choices’ as if hers isn’t good enough/only ok for you.

implantsandaDyson · 16/07/2019 15:53

Yes, YABU - very few things in this life irritate me more than someone who agrees to do a favour for you and then turns it into a "thing".

MyFokMarelize · 16/07/2019 15:54

How do you match a house with a font? Do you have some kind of second sight or something? I can't imagine how long you'd have to stare at a house to get the right font.

CrotchetyQuaver · 16/07/2019 15:54

It's clear to me she likes the font you used for your sign, and wants the same for her own sign.

I suspect your near neighbour also likes the font you chose too.

KurriKurri · 16/07/2019 15:57

YANBU - someone could randomly drive a 15 mile trip, see your two houses and think you are Font twins - then all hell would break loose, you'd have to sell your house and possibly leave the country.

Or your SMum could be thinking ' I love Caroline's sign she made, she's so clever, I'll ask her if she can make one for me with the same font' and you could take it for the compliment it is, in which case YABU

Original poster
CarolineTheChemist · 16/07/2019 15:58

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... I know you guys have such good points Sad Sad
Damn! I really didn't want this to be unreasonable Sad Sad Sad

I just know I'm going to resent every second I spend making it for her AND be reminded of that feeling every time I go to their house and see it outside..
.
Seeing as I'm doing them a nice favour in making it for them, would it really be so bad to say that I'll do it for any font, but just not that one??

I mean, this is my free time and there are lots of other enjoyable creative things I'd much rather spend my time on...

OP posts:
Baguetteaboutit · 16/07/2019 15:58

Well, I think I'm definitely living in an Arial home. One day I'd like to upgrade to a Times New Roman. But if I leave the lawn any longer we might slip into Wingdings and upset the neighbours.

Butterymuffin · 16/07/2019 15:58

Easy. Say you want every sign you make to be unique so you're going to change one detail. Pick a different font for her and say that ones really her, what does she think?

MyCatHatesEverybody · 16/07/2019 15:59

What an evil stepmother, the font stealing bitch Hmm

Sorryisntgoodenough · 16/07/2019 16:00

gave them about 30/40 examples to choose their faves from

But she wanted the SAME as you. YABU and if I was faced with 40 to choose from I would just think you were trying to back track about making me one.

IncandescentShadow · 16/07/2019 16:00

Too much detail. No-one is that interested in fonts for house signs, except maybe you OP. Its a specialist thing. Your OP details bored me to tears.

implantsandaDyson · 16/07/2019 16:01

Why did you offer if there's other things you'd rather be doing in your own time? Marytrs are their own worst enemy Grin. I've a funny feeling feeling she also mightn't be grateful enough once its finished.

AutumnCrow · 16/07/2019 16:02

Don't do it then if it bothers you that much?

MonkeyTrap · 16/07/2019 16:02

If you didn’t want to make a sign similar to your sign, because it’s your sign you should have declined to make a sign.

pretentiousrubberduck · 16/07/2019 16:03

You're going to resent making it and will be reminded every time you see it Hmm don't bloody offer to make her one then! People like you are incredibly annoying; make a big deal out of offering to do someone a favour and then whinge when they take you up on it. Your poor SM!