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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my step mother to put a bit of effort into a small favour I'm doing her...?

242 replies

CarolineTheChemist · 16/07/2019 15:40

Hello Mumsnetters!
I need your honest and brutal opinions...

A few months ago I moved into a beautiful old house and decided to make a new name sign for the front gate as the existing one was horrible. I paint as a hobby so I'm good with a paintbrush, and the old owners had kindly left some old bits of wood and a pot of black wood paint in the garage.

I spent ages looking for a font that I felt reflected the character of the house and it's quirky name. Once DH and I had chosen our favourite font, I painted an old plank black, stencilled the house name on the wood and filled it with white acrylic. Naturally as a painted I enjoyed this and got a lot of satisfaction when I hung it on the gate.

This weekend we had a house warming party and I got a lot of compliments on my new sign. My step mother asked me to make her one as she doesn't like their current one. One of my nearby neighbours drove past recently and later text me asking where I got it from, so I offered to make her one too.

I spent some time looking up fonts for both of them - they both have different style houses so I spent some time thinking about what might suit them, and gave them about 30/40 examples to choose their faves from. My step mother hasn't looked at the options I sent her, and instead has just replied saying she wants hers to be the same font as mine.

I don't feel okay about that. They live about 15 miles away so I guess it's not really a big deal, but I spent so much time choosing a font to reflect the character of our house that I don't like it that she's not putting in that effort for hers.

I glibly replied to her earlier saying she could only have that font if she could pick it out of the selection I sent her. Now I regret that as it could be seen as a bit childish.... When I agreed to make her one I didn't expect her to want the exact same thing as ours.

The question is am I being unreasonable in feeling irritated by this?

OP posts:
Thequaffle · 17/07/2019 07:31

It’s just a font. Chill out.

BertrandRussell · 17/07/2019 07:38

“you'd prefer for her to have something different to yours (which I don't think is unreasonable) ”
Yes it is- it’s bonkers!
“Ooh, I love your sign- I don’t suppose you could make one the same for me, could you?”
“Yes of course- which of these 30 completely different signs would you like?”

BertrandRussell · 17/07/2019 07:39

And I bet it’s Comic Sans.....

ConkerGame · 17/07/2019 07:39

Use a different but similar font. She honestly won’t know the difference. And try not to be too annoyed at her - I’m not artistic in the slightest and I honestly can’t picture things in my head, so I just wouldn’t know which font to pick and would want you to choose for me. I even let our handyman pick the paint colour for my hallway as I just couldn’t picture the different ones! Blush

MarriageOfPigaro · 17/07/2019 07:41

OP, I have Designed fonts in the past.
You're unbelievably petty!
Not everybody cares about detail!

Spotsandstars · 17/07/2019 07:57

Try having kids, they basically take everything you have and you are no longer an individual 😂
Seriously, this is a bit childish.

rookiemere · 17/07/2019 08:01

I feel sorry for the SM. She complimented her DSDs taste and perhaps wanted to build rapport by asking for the sign, little knowing what a minefield she had walked into.
Just do something similar OP, I'm sure your SM will love it.

Polestar50 · 17/07/2019 08:05

I'm really surprised by a lot of the replies on here. I completely get it and don't think it's petty at all.

This is something that you put a lot of time and imagination into and is one of those small, things in life that gives you a lot of pleasure (think there's a thread about those at the moment). Making a duplicate for someone else takes away a little bit of that magic. I get it.

I think the best suggestion is definitely to do hers in a similar font so yours is still yours and she is happy. Job done.

Your sign sounds great by the way. I need a new house sign and would love to find somebody who offered this sort of artistic service. Ahem. Do you take commissions?!

ooooohbetty · 17/07/2019 08:07

OP yabu. Grow up.

Battytwatty · 17/07/2019 08:48

OP I also think you are getting a hard time here...... some people are being plain nasty. It’s important to you, and that’s the main thing.
Make her a different one. Enjoy your sign. It sounds lovely.

TeaAndChocolateBiscuits · 17/07/2019 09:02

Is there a font similar, that you know is different but she won't notice the difference?

SandAndSea · 17/07/2019 09:32

OP, I get what you're saying about fonts as I've also spent too much time choosing between them and it can make a big difference to the finished product. But, this is a house sign for your step-mum. Have you thought about how she might feel?

Maybe this is her way of reaching out to you and connecting with you? She might not know the first thing about fonts but is letting you know how much she values you. Every time she walks into her house, she will think of you and feel that connection. When anyone asks her where she got it from, she will tell them with pride that her step-daughter made it for her. She might even be thinking that you're going to be 'house sign twins'!

Please don't taint this for her. Change it a bit if you like but please do it with good grace.

SarahSinclair · 17/07/2019 09:38

You sound like a nice person but honestly, it’s a FONT. And to give her 30/40 examples to choose from is OTT. Her passion is not your passion and that’s why she’s not fussed over a font.

Baguetteaboutit · 17/07/2019 09:42

The only thing funnier than the op is posters tripping over themselves to say they can completely sympathise because they're sooo creative too.

TheTitOfTheIceberg · 17/07/2019 09:47

"Find a slightly different font" is rapidly becoming the new "cancel the cheque".

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 17/07/2019 09:57

It's an old plank of wood painted black with white lettering and TWO people have loved it so much they want one?

I find that more bizarre than your font possessiveness, and that's saying something.

DonJeer · 17/07/2019 10:04

Im a designer OP and I am TOTALLY with you on this one. Giving her the same font also essentially degrades yours a bit I feel if it doesnt fit the context.
Agree with previous posters to do comic sans!! Or just choose a font you feel fits.

BertrandRussell · 17/07/2019 10:06

“Or just choose a font you feel fits”

So not the one her step mother likes....

NeckPainChairSearch · 17/07/2019 10:09

Giving her the same font also essentially degrades yours a bit I feel if it doesnt fit the context

How does it do that then? How does someone else's plank of wood house sign 'essentially degrade' another one, miles away?

DameFanny · 17/07/2019 10:16

My house is Garamond.

What's the OP's please?

Proteinshakesandovieshat · 17/07/2019 10:19

I work in a creative field. Work with fonts and branding all day long.

I also saved long and hard to own a home of my own. Made sacrifices to get there etc. Most people who manage to get in the property ladder have. Some people are doing that and still not able to get their own house.

Still think yabu. Its a bloody house sign.

I bet someone out there makes ones very similar yours. They dont devalue yours at all.

DameFanny · 17/07/2019 10:19

And for PPs asking why it matters when it's just black and white words, well, it's just black and white, very simple, no tacky hedgehogs or whatever, and that's why the detail and execution matters. Done carelessly - who cares? But done with all the care and attention the OP used is why it's good enough, striking enough, fitting enough that 2 other people want one.

Chloemol · 17/07/2019 10:22

Yes, you offered just get a grip and do it, it’s miles away from yours, stop being such a baby

Proteinshakesandovieshat · 17/07/2019 10:23

Giving her the same font also essentially degrades yours a bit I feel if it doesnt fit the context.

No it really doesnt.

SeekingShade · 17/07/2019 10:32

OP, I may have designed my own font for my house sign Blush.

YWBU mentioning it, you should've just suggested a similar font which had a nicer 'p' or you thought went better with her lovely porch