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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my step mother to put a bit of effort into a small favour I'm doing her...?

242 replies

CarolineTheChemist · 16/07/2019 15:40

Hello Mumsnetters!
I need your honest and brutal opinions...

A few months ago I moved into a beautiful old house and decided to make a new name sign for the front gate as the existing one was horrible. I paint as a hobby so I'm good with a paintbrush, and the old owners had kindly left some old bits of wood and a pot of black wood paint in the garage.

I spent ages looking for a font that I felt reflected the character of the house and it's quirky name. Once DH and I had chosen our favourite font, I painted an old plank black, stencilled the house name on the wood and filled it with white acrylic. Naturally as a painted I enjoyed this and got a lot of satisfaction when I hung it on the gate.

This weekend we had a house warming party and I got a lot of compliments on my new sign. My step mother asked me to make her one as she doesn't like their current one. One of my nearby neighbours drove past recently and later text me asking where I got it from, so I offered to make her one too.

I spent some time looking up fonts for both of them - they both have different style houses so I spent some time thinking about what might suit them, and gave them about 30/40 examples to choose their faves from. My step mother hasn't looked at the options I sent her, and instead has just replied saying she wants hers to be the same font as mine.

I don't feel okay about that. They live about 15 miles away so I guess it's not really a big deal, but I spent so much time choosing a font to reflect the character of our house that I don't like it that she's not putting in that effort for hers.

I glibly replied to her earlier saying she could only have that font if she could pick it out of the selection I sent her. Now I regret that as it could be seen as a bit childish.... When I agreed to make her one I didn't expect her to want the exact same thing as ours.

The question is am I being unreasonable in feeling irritated by this?

OP posts:
TroubleWithNargles · 16/07/2019 16:13

I want the Blackadder font now!

AlexaAmbidextra · 16/07/2019 16:13

Jesus! Are you normally this dramatic? How on earth do you get through life?

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 16/07/2019 16:13

Oooh - loads of us have said to choose a similar but not the same one while I was posting! We must all be right!

DontCallMeShitley · 16/07/2019 16:13

Pick a font that is similar but not exactly the same, one that will not be obviously different but you will know it is not the same as yours.

Drum2018 · 16/07/2019 16:14

Sending 40 options was your mistake - too much to go through so it was probably easier to say she wanted the same as yours. I don't see the problem. The font might not mean much to her, whereas it did to you. She sees it as nice fancy lettering, whereas you researched it and put thought into it and found a font that matched the era of your house. I'd be flattered she like my work so much and would just do it - you can always tweak it a bit so it's not exactly the same. I'm sure she won't even notice unless she sees the 2 of them side by side.

Honeyroar · 16/07/2019 16:14

If you really must, make her sign a tiny bit, but not massively, different from yours. But you're really being a bit silly over this!! She must be thinking that you're bonkers.

GroggyLegs · 16/07/2019 16:15

When you lie on your deathbed will your final whisper be...

"She should have picked Helvetica"

?

Imanamechangeninja · 16/07/2019 16:16

I do think you are overthinking OP. I get sending people a couple of font choices but 30/40 is a bit much.

Make the house sign in the same font, (maybe make a couple of minor alterations for your own satisfaction) and accept your SMs compliment to you with good grace.

Crunchymum · 16/07/2019 16:19

I am dying to know what font the neighbour picked?

Did she give it serious enough consideration for your liking OP? Grin

brotown · 16/07/2019 16:20

That’s way too many options for a regular non artistic person to choose from.
Just pick a similar one, she won’t notice

separatebeds · 16/07/2019 16:21

Just do it in a font a bit like yours. She won't know and she won't actually care. You can then be smug that it's not the same as your sign even though she thinks it is.....

Next time just accept the compliments graciously. No need to have gone all overboard offering out your services when you want yours to be a one off.

flouncyfanny · 16/07/2019 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Livebythecoast · 16/07/2019 16:22

After reading all this I can't get the word font out of my head!
Just asked DD 'what to you font for dinner?'! 🤣

ImaginaryCat · 16/07/2019 16:23

Oh my god, woman, I work in brand management, I spend all day bollocking people for using the wrong font or brand colours, and even I cannot imagine giving this much of a shit about my house signage. Is it possible you've imbued a little too much thought into this to avoid an elephant in your room? How's your marriage? Work? Any life limiting illnesses? Because I really and truly can't figure out why you've latched onto the font for your sign as such a huge deal in your life.

urbansprawl · 16/07/2019 16:23

OP, I get you! I like fonts and graphic design and I can understand why you feel invested in it.

It's probably a tiny bit unreasonable to expect other people to understand why you take it seriously and want them to put in a bit more effort, but I do understand where you're coming from. I'd find that annoying too.

MumW · 16/07/2019 16:23

Tell her that as they are bespoke, you'd like them all to be unique. Send her a selection of say, 10 and tell her, that as an artist, you think these a more suited to her style of house/garden/personality and suggest she choose one of them .

BlackBirdInMyGarden · 16/07/2019 16:24

YABU for not saying what the font is.

sillysmiles · 16/07/2019 16:24

You are overthinking it. I get why you are irritated - you spent a lot of time considering what would suit your house. For her she just liked the sign you had done.

If you really don't want to use the same font on her house, don't, but pick one that is close and that would suit her house.

Send her a message saying - would you be ok with me changing it slightly - put it will still look lovely.

apostropheuse · 16/07/2019 16:25

ThIs thread is hilarious Grin

AnneLovesGilbert · 16/07/2019 16:28

Oh dear god.

But a rare treat to see posters sticking up for a step mum Grin

LillithsFamiliar · 16/07/2019 16:28

Having given it suitable thought, I've decided I'm in an AR Julian house. Grin

Original poster
CarolineTheChemist · 16/07/2019 16:31

Reality sucks for me today!

It would be interesting to me to know how many of you who have responded would consider yourselves artistic. In particular those saying it's really unreasonable and fonts are boring/irrelevant.

As a artist/designer, I would argue that a choice of font is really important. Companies pay a lot of money for specific fonts and logos that reflect the sector they work in. The font that TFL use for the tube map belongs only to them and is very iconic. I'm certainly not saying that my house is iconic btw!!
However, it really makes sense that some houses would have characters that really could be reflected in a font. For example, a giant Georgian manor house (which is what my neighbour lives in) would look weird with a house sign designed for ancient little thatched cottage, or a 1920s art deco villa, or a 60s semi.

Perhaps a better analogy for some of you would be if you bought an outfit that you felt really good in and after seeing you in it, your mother/close friend asked you to go and buy her the exact same outfit... would you do it?

OP posts:
MysweetAudrina · 16/07/2019 16:32

Just make her the bloody sign. It is nuts to have so much of your identity tied to a font. All though I am quite partial to Calibri 11 and have sometimes annoyingly changes submissions to this font and size.

Socksontheradiator · 16/07/2019 16:32

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. She liked your sign, if I were you I'd be pleased. And she's making it easy for you. YABU!

ZillaPilla · 16/07/2019 16:32

Is it Dingbats?

Google says there are 300,000 fonts in the world so I think the Step Mum got off slightly only having to choose from 30-40.

I live in a mid terrace, what sort of font is that?

FWIW, we have a pottery in the village and I'd say a good 5-10% of the village have a house name or number plaque made by the very same guy, all in the same font, some different colours and some with personal detail, but you can tell they're all from the same place.
I think it's lovely. I don't know what font they're in