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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my step mother to put a bit of effort into a small favour I'm doing her...?

242 replies

CarolineTheChemist · 16/07/2019 15:40

Hello Mumsnetters!
I need your honest and brutal opinions...

A few months ago I moved into a beautiful old house and decided to make a new name sign for the front gate as the existing one was horrible. I paint as a hobby so I'm good with a paintbrush, and the old owners had kindly left some old bits of wood and a pot of black wood paint in the garage.

I spent ages looking for a font that I felt reflected the character of the house and it's quirky name. Once DH and I had chosen our favourite font, I painted an old plank black, stencilled the house name on the wood and filled it with white acrylic. Naturally as a painted I enjoyed this and got a lot of satisfaction when I hung it on the gate.

This weekend we had a house warming party and I got a lot of compliments on my new sign. My step mother asked me to make her one as she doesn't like their current one. One of my nearby neighbours drove past recently and later text me asking where I got it from, so I offered to make her one too.

I spent some time looking up fonts for both of them - they both have different style houses so I spent some time thinking about what might suit them, and gave them about 30/40 examples to choose their faves from. My step mother hasn't looked at the options I sent her, and instead has just replied saying she wants hers to be the same font as mine.

I don't feel okay about that. They live about 15 miles away so I guess it's not really a big deal, but I spent so much time choosing a font to reflect the character of our house that I don't like it that she's not putting in that effort for hers.

I glibly replied to her earlier saying she could only have that font if she could pick it out of the selection I sent her. Now I regret that as it could be seen as a bit childish.... When I agreed to make her one I didn't expect her to want the exact same thing as ours.

The question is am I being unreasonable in feeling irritated by this?

OP posts:
ReapersHowler · 16/07/2019 17:16

@MoreThanJustANumber Ah but they're not going to take the font off the list because someone has ordered it at least Grin

KarmaStar · 16/07/2019 17:16

Oh op really?😀
Just do a slightly different font.
Fgs.

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 16/07/2019 17:17

DH and I understand! We spent months picking out a font for our wedding stationary, knowing damn well that no-one else would so much as notice it.

Horses for courses.

Weebitawks · 16/07/2019 17:17

I'm afraid the context doesn't add anything here. Most people work incredibly hard and make sacrifices to save up for a house.

SolsticeBabyMaybe · 16/07/2019 17:18

Not my current career, I have done art, illustration and design work in the past.

Having done so yourself, you will know that people like what they like, and you have to account for their tastes within your design.

Sounds like she liked your sign BECAUSE if the font, not because the font reflected the character of the house.

If I had been doing this I would have either gone ahead and made a choice myself (as it's a gift), or found out what she liked about the design and sent her 4 font examples in the name of her house. One or two of those could have been similar to yours. 40 is ridiculous and is not showing artistic direction, anyway!

MoreThanJustANumber · 16/07/2019 17:20

@ReapersHowler, very true. Also goes to show a lot of people won't even notice or care what the font is.

ComeTheFuck0nBridget · 16/07/2019 17:22

OP, YA NOT BU for feeling this way. I totally get it, I'm very creative and love to make things, especially for my home, and I put a lot of effort into choosing things that are unique or really "me".

However, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, I think the way you've handled it all does sound a bit U.

You should have just picked 3 or 4 font options that you thought would work best for her and her house (none the same as your font), typed the sign out in each font and asked her to pick which one she wanted. She would have picked one and been none the wiser that it was any different from yours.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 16/07/2019 17:23

Did you entirely create that font, OP? Or did you just find one (already created) that you liked and decided to use? Because that's somebody else's work and by your reckoning, why didn't you (with all your undoubted skills), make one entirely unique for your glorious house?

I think you're being really ridiculous about this and the only thing you will achieve is a rift. Get a grip before that happens.

Jemima232 · 16/07/2019 17:23

Hello CarolineTheChemist

a) you need to change your User Name to CarolineTheAnnoyingPedant.

b) your step-mother is being very unreasonable to want to steal your font

and

c) although I have never suggested this to anyone, ever,

d) NC is the way forward.

mussolini9 · 16/07/2019 17:23

Seeing as I'm doing them a nice favour in making it for them, would it really be so bad to say that I'll do it for any font, but just not that one??

FFS @CarolineTheChemist just do the bloody sign with a slightly different font & accept compliments more graciously.

AgathaF · 16/07/2019 17:24

If you changed the font slightly for your SMs house, I bet she wouldn't even notice but it might make you feel better about it.

2toe · 16/07/2019 17:24

I’m going with if it’s important to you then it’s important. Can you really just not say
“ I understand this may seem silly to you but this sign is really important to me, to me it feels like it represents all the hard work I’ve put in to achieving my dream, I want it to be unique, happy to make one for you just not exactly the same”.

lovemynewmirror · 16/07/2019 17:26

I’m regretting the name change and posting the mirror now. It’s hard work changing my name back and forth as I move between threads.

You guys are saying a CRM rip off. I prefer to think of it as a Art Nouveau style tribute to the great Glaswegian.

heronontoast · 16/07/2019 17:27

Life is too short for 40 fonts.

TheTitOfTheIceberg · 16/07/2019 17:27

Unless both the OP and her stepmother both happen to live in The Grove or Cherry Tree House, it’s not going to be the exact same sign anyway!

beckywiththecraphair · 16/07/2019 17:32

I know you're getting a bit of a pasting OP but for this particular job you need to put your creative brain on pause and just make a copy of the sign you made for yourself, for your Stepmother, in the same shape/font/colour. There's no point in getting annoyed if it "doesn't go" or it doesn't fit the feel of the place or whatever - she loved what you made and she wants that.

5foot5 · 16/07/2019 17:32

It would be interesting to me to know how many of you who have responded would consider yourselves artistic.

I wouldn't. Not really. I can sort of see what you mean that different fonts suit different ages / styles but honestly, if someone asked me to choose the font that best reflected my house style I wouldn't know where to start. I would rely on the artist/designer to suggest something.

Perhaps your SM was overwhelmed by so many choices. No more than half a dozen suggestions would surely be enough.

Not quite the same but in the last few years we have had a new kitchen and new bathrooms. In both cases we spoke to a designer about the type of thing we wanted, indicated our style preferences and so on and then they came back with 2 or 3 suggestions and designs for us to choose from. If they had come back with 30 or 40 I would have felt swamped.

Justaboy · 16/07/2019 17:37

Customer, ie your mum is ALWAYS right:!

Bettercallsaul1 · 16/07/2019 17:38

I agree that CarolineTheChemist doesn't reflect the OP's personality properly. She should change it immediately to FontOfWisdom.

MumW · 16/07/2019 17:40

Loving the Charles Rennie Mackintosh mirror. Not sure what the designer/artist intended but, to me, it looks like balls of yarn and, as such, would very much match my character.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 16/07/2019 17:42

Christ! You're hard work OP!!

This is worse than the “second cousin twice removed wants my child’s middle name as her dogs name”

Just like no-one owns a name, no-one owns a font Wink

Your stepMum has chosen her font. Either do the thing you said or don’t. But don’t be a dick about it.

Isatis · 16/07/2019 17:44

Could you find a similar font for your stepmother but one that's not exactly the same as yours? Unless yours is extremely distinctive I doubt that she'd notice the difference.

MrsJakeLovell · 16/07/2019 17:49

Another small voice of support here OP!

I get that it is frustrating when you've chosen the perfect design for YOUR house your MIL is pretty lazy to just want to copy unthinkingly when the reasons for you choosing it won't fit her house. I get that!

I do agree though that 30-40 is crazy! You should have sent 3 and asked her pick one!

Don't just use 'your' font - if she can't choose a different one you can do it for her! After all, you are painting it as a gift!

PancakeAndKeith · 16/07/2019 17:56

It would be interesting to me to know how many of you who have responded would consider yourselves artistic. In particular those saying it's really unreasonable and fonts are boring/irrelevant.

I bloody love a font and poor kerning makes me very cross.
I have an arts degree and a close family member is a professor of fonts. (True fact. Well not just fonts but that is part of it.)

I completely understand why you picked a font that suited your house.

But

You are being ridiculously precious.

NoSauce · 16/07/2019 17:56

They probably had font fatigue and though fuck it we’ll just go with Caroline’s! 30/40 fonts is quite a lot to look at and decide from.

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