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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want my step mother to put a bit of effort into a small favour I'm doing her...?

242 replies

CarolineTheChemist · 16/07/2019 15:40

Hello Mumsnetters!
I need your honest and brutal opinions...

A few months ago I moved into a beautiful old house and decided to make a new name sign for the front gate as the existing one was horrible. I paint as a hobby so I'm good with a paintbrush, and the old owners had kindly left some old bits of wood and a pot of black wood paint in the garage.

I spent ages looking for a font that I felt reflected the character of the house and it's quirky name. Once DH and I had chosen our favourite font, I painted an old plank black, stencilled the house name on the wood and filled it with white acrylic. Naturally as a painted I enjoyed this and got a lot of satisfaction when I hung it on the gate.

This weekend we had a house warming party and I got a lot of compliments on my new sign. My step mother asked me to make her one as she doesn't like their current one. One of my nearby neighbours drove past recently and later text me asking where I got it from, so I offered to make her one too.

I spent some time looking up fonts for both of them - they both have different style houses so I spent some time thinking about what might suit them, and gave them about 30/40 examples to choose their faves from. My step mother hasn't looked at the options I sent her, and instead has just replied saying she wants hers to be the same font as mine.

I don't feel okay about that. They live about 15 miles away so I guess it's not really a big deal, but I spent so much time choosing a font to reflect the character of our house that I don't like it that she's not putting in that effort for hers.

I glibly replied to her earlier saying she could only have that font if she could pick it out of the selection I sent her. Now I regret that as it could be seen as a bit childish.... When I agreed to make her one I didn't expect her to want the exact same thing as ours.

The question is am I being unreasonable in feeling irritated by this?

OP posts:
MysweetAudrina · 16/07/2019 16:46

Well done Caroline :) I am sure she will be very pleased with your choice.

MagicKingdomDizzy · 16/07/2019 16:46

OP I'm going to stick up for you here!

I had a similar situation in that I had a bespoke door plaque made for my house. My parents saw it and decided that they wanted the exact same one, and asked me to order one for them.

I ordered a slightly different one, as I didn't want them having the same sign as me. They didn't even notice it was different.

I get it!

Choose a slightly different font and colour, hopefully she won't notice.

FWIW I'm very creative, I think this makes a difference as to whether things like this matter to you or not.

Sarahlou63 · 16/07/2019 16:47

I spent so much time choosing a font to reflect the character of our house

You have too much time on your hands.

EnidButton · 16/07/2019 16:49

Ya still bu and making too big a deal out of it.

PineappleSeahorse · 16/07/2019 16:50

FWIW I'm very creative, I think this makes a difference as to whether things like this matter to you or not.

Several other creative people have said that they wouldn't give a shit.

I appreciate that fonts can be very important and I'm not dismissing the work that the OP does but it's a bloody house sign not a logo for a major company.

NotAgainKen · 16/07/2019 16:50

How big is this damn sign if you stencilled it on a plank?!

[imagines OP living in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch Cottage]

Bloomburger · 16/07/2019 16:52

Gawd, your only making a sign!

NoSquirrels · 16/07/2019 16:52

Fonts are friends!

I'm sort of with you, OP, although I wouldn't get too wound up about it.

Gotta say, though - if you sent me 30-40 options as a client, I'd be annoyed. Send 4 or 5 max. Too many options is overwhelming.

Anyway, for your specific problem, just pick a different font - something very similar but just different enough that you know the difference. Then you'll have the satisfaction of knowing it's not the same!

bikerclaire · 16/07/2019 16:53

Send her and email with her house name in two other fonts that you think might suit her AND your original one but DON'T TELL HER WHICH IS YOURS! Then ask which she prefers?

Monr0e · 16/07/2019 16:55

I've read the word "font" so much it has now lost all meaning.

KurriKurri · 16/07/2019 16:57

how many of you who have responded would consider yourselves artistic

I've done commission work in the past - and I do what the customer asks for. You can't say ' you're not allowed to choose a particular font because I say so. You could say 'I won't do an entirely identical piece of work because I do unique work', But fonts are not infinite in their variety - you have to select, and chances are some people will select the same as other people.
When you do work for other people then you can't be precious, you follow instructions. Or you don't get paid.

For example if say I painted house signs and someone commissioned one with an Owl on it, that wouldn't rule out owls for anyone else because people would select an animal of their choosing and a font of their choosing. They'd all vary slightly because of individual differences in work and different combinations (as your SM's will differ from yours apart from font).

I realise that you (presumably by your name)don't do this as your main source of income and it is a favour, but professional artists tend to be a lot more business like, and considerably less attached to their 'creations' - you have to be. And you have to accept that you have been chosen because someone likes your style, and therefore they want something that will bear a fairly strong ressemblance to your other work. (I didn't used to paint signs by the way - my field was a bit more niche Grin)

Lovemynewmirror · 16/07/2019 16:58

I am artistic. I am often asked to create something for a friend or relation based on work of mine they’ve seen. I knock up a couple of drafts and they choose. If they ask for additions or alterations I will incorporate them if I think they will look right, if not I’ll adapt them slightly so they suit me and them.

I’ve name changed for this as I’ve attached a picture of a mirror I recently commissioned form a stained glass artist so it could be outing. I discussed size/colours/placement etc with him. He also gave me choices of a couple of other details that I left up to him - I wanted some of his taste and style in it. After all I had commissioned it from him specifically because I loved his work, I didn’t want to dictate every detail of the finished piece. I’m sure your Sm feels the same way about what you do.

notso · 16/07/2019 16:58

This thread is pure gold!

spongedog · 16/07/2019 17:00

You cant be as annoying in real life as your post suggests because your stepmum paid you and your artistic ability a really big compliment. Although your stepmum asked the favour, just imagine how proud your dad will be every time he looks at your work. It's not worth damaging family relationships over.

MirandaGoshawk · 16/07/2019 17:01

"Pick Comic Sans" Grin

Hers IS going to be different because it's different words! (Not same house name, I hope?!)

Really, whatever you pick she will love. But how are you going to explain why hers is different from yours? Anyway, why not pick one of the ones you'd chosen for her and give it to her anyway? A similar one to yours? And giving people - what was it? - 30 - 40 choices?? Really? That's like asking them to choose between 40 different tins of baked beans. Way too much choice.

MyHeadIsBursting · 16/07/2019 17:04

YABU. You don’t own a font ffs 🙄

Original poster
CarolineTheChemist · 16/07/2019 17:05

Yikes, I seem to have created a bit of a storm here... I get that it seems trivial to many of you, so I want to explain some context.

FWIW, this is the first house I've ever owned and spent the last 10 years saving like a mad thing to be able to buy it. I'd always dreamt of living in a beautiful house ever since I was a child.

I've sacrificed holidays, a wedding, nice clothes, nice cars and more to help build my savings. I've used this dream to drive my career, each promotion and job move with my eyes on the prize. I get up and go to work each day to make a house like this a possibility in my life, so to me the house sign really is important.

Sorry if this sounds defensive, and you can ridicule it all you like; only I know what I have sacrificed to get myself here.

I hadn't really thought of it before - but I guess that's why I spent hours trawling the internet for fonts for my timber, tile and brick baby. I guess we each have dreams and priorities and this is mine...

OP posts:
Orchidfeed · 16/07/2019 17:05

Lovemy your stained glass artist is totally ripping off Charles Rennie Macintosh...

Lizzielocket · 16/07/2019 17:06

When you have 3 kids hanging round your ankles you will realise that this is a total non issue.
YABU. Do the sign as your MIL would like. Take it as a compliment.

VivienneHolt · 16/07/2019 17:08

I’m not dismissing that it’s important to you, I just think it’s a bit rich to try and keep for yourself a font that you didn’t invent just because you happened to stencil it on a plank...

SolsticeBabyMaybe · 16/07/2019 17:12

You are making the sign so if you REALLY don't want it to be the same font, surely you could just alter the font slightly? No one would know but you?

MoreThanJustANumber · 16/07/2019 17:12

@ReapersHowler, the fonts on the examples in the reviews section on that Etsy link are all different fonts though! Grin

Jon65 · 16/07/2019 17:12

Should go nc . . . dreadful stepmother, no imagination.

amiapropermum · 16/07/2019 17:13

I get what you mean about matching a font to the style of a house. YABVVVVVU about the rest of it though! It's very endearing that you love your house so much and you've obviously worked hard for it. That does not mean you should expect someone to look through 30 - 40 fonts or pick 'yours' out of a lineup! That's ridiculous

Treaclesweet · 16/07/2019 17:15

Pp your "artist" is ripping off Charles Rennie Mackintosh. Please look it up people will laugh at you if you show them that and say it was a commission!

OP I totally get you. My DH is very fond of fonts. It took me a while but I begin to understand him. I agree with pp, select a few (one to three!) that you think work and show those to your sm.