To think a good friend leaving wedding early is rude

[Starship12]

My sister is getting married in 6 weeks time. One of our very good friends, has announced she will be leaving the wedding by taxi at 1845. She says that parents are looking after her children (3 and 8 months) but she needs to be back by 1900. This will coincide with the meal (not cheap) and speeches and leave a 1/2 empty table.
She has always been very controlling in most aspects of her life but particularly so re children (eg. Meals at very strict times etc).
Aibu to think this is just plain rude and not entirely necessary or is this acceptable behaviour?

Is the wedding child free?

I don't think she's being that unreasonable, if that's the only time the parents can babysit to then that's that!

Maybe a little UR though if she's leaving as she wants to stick to a strict routine- I'm sure her parents can manage to put the kids to bed if she explains the routine!

What do you mean when you say “has announced”?

Was she attending on her own or with a partner?

if she needs to be back then she needs to be back, not alot she can do.

How does it leave a half empty table though, it's only one person leaving.

Was she invited to bring her children or not? How long will she have been at the wedding by then? It would have been more polite had she let the bride and groom know she wouldn't be there for the evening when she accepted the invitation, but plenty of weddings serve the meal around 5pm so not unreasonable of her to think she's going to leaving after the meal, speeches, etc and with a baby I wouldn't blame her.

Tbh her children are fairly small and might have childcare to a certain time

Her kids weren’t invited? She’s made childcare arrangements? I assume her parents can’t/won’t (or even she doesn’t want) have them overnight?

YABU surely by 6.45pm meal and speeches will be about done? Most evenings starts around 7.30/8pm so wedding breakfast finished well beforehand.

Had she previously said she could stay for the whole thing?
I don’t think she’s unreasonable or rude if her parents can only stay until 7pm and the wedding is child free.

Is the baby ebf? If so she might have to get back to feed. Just don't pay for her meal.

I don’t think it’s rude at all! She’s done her best to attend but can’t stay for the whole thing. That’s fair enough!

What time is the wedding? Does she know it will be half way through the meal?

Personally when DD was 8 months I would have had to return for bedtime to feed DD. I might have assumed the meal etc would be over and it was a reasonable time to leave. She has said 6 weeks before, so some notice and possibly as she has realised it is not feasible to stay later.

Are they tables of 2 then? Very unusual at a wedding. Otherwise you are massively exaggerating.

I don't see anything wrong with the fact that she has to be mindful of childcare, she's attending the wedding itself so what's the problem?

I left my best friends wedding just after the meal, I had a longish (taxi) drive back to get home to my dog, who for various reasons we can’t leave with anyone or in kennels.
My partner had to work at last minute so couldn’t be on dog duty.

Friend didn’t even notice! Was quite a big wedding, I made sure I spoke with her earlier in the day and at the meal.

Once all the dancing and mingling started, no one noticed I had slipped away!

How will her leaving leave a half empty table?

What time does the wedding start, thats a very late meal

If I was leaving before the meal finished, I would suggest to the bride that I could forego the meal to save them paying for it and avoid empty chairs. Otherwise I think looking after your children is a reasonable justification for leaving a wedding early.

Surely the actual wedding is the important part and she has made an effort to attend that. The party is just a party afterwards.

If she has no childcare what is she supposed to do. Or would you rather she didn't come at all?

Why is the table 1/2 empty?

What time is the wedding? 7pm is quite late for meal and speeches.

She will have been there for the important bit-the ceremony.

I don’t think it is rude that she will be attending the wedding and then leaving, as she doesn’t have childcare for the whole night. Totally acceptable behaviour. How will her & her DP leaving mean a half empty table? Are guest being seated 4 to a table?

I don’t think think your friend is rude at all, she’s politely told the bride and groom what is happening, what’s the problem? She made childcare arrangements for the wedding but will need to leave early YABVU.

Maybe her parents can’t look after the children beyond that time? Or she has to breastfeed her youngest?

My cousins getting married on Saturday, my son is only four, as a result I’ll be leaving at 8:30 so he isn’t too late out of bed. As much as I love my cousin, I don’t want to spend the whole of Sunday with a very grumpy tired four year old!

Is your dsis doing speeches or food first? I think food first is always best. As a teenager I used to do silver service for a hotel (hundreds of weddings every summer) and the speeches always went better when everyone had been fed and watered/boozed.
Tbh the timings seem a bit strange, can you enlighten us further?

Wedding meal is until 1930. Then speeches, so yes it’s a bit later than usual. She is with partner. Her parents have offered to keep them overnight if needed and no feeding issues.
Yes was exaggerating re table just to make a point! It’s interesting to hear others views, thank you. Maybe it’s not such a big deal but not huge wedding and they have been best friends since school. I see your point re her making an effort to come. Others have babies same age and it’s not been an issue that’s all

She has to be back by 7, so she's attending the wedding and the meal (that she's been invited for!) and making sure she's back for her children.

Hint, nobody gives as much of a shit about any wedding as the wedding party.

Forgot to add, yes baby was invited

Completely acceptable behaviour! Weird you're questioning this.
How will the table be half empty?