To think banning stuff from schools is stupid

[SparklesAndUnicorns]

I like to think I'm quite a 'progressive' parent and I like my children to express themselves how they feel most comfortable, they tend to pick and wear what they want over the weekends and I do let them ocassionally change their hair colours with semi permanent safe dyes.
I agree with school uniform but my daughters school doesn't even allow hair bows, she went in with a few braids and bows in the other day and came home with a messy ponytail in and told me the teacher had taken them out. Teacher explained it's against school rules to have more than one bow in their hair. Aibu to think rules like no nail varnish, no hair accessories and no hair dye is just ridiculous rules? How is this going to effect their learning? She is only 6 and I really don't understand the reasoning. Surely if it's a bullying thing then this is down to parenting your child to accept that everyone is different, I can't see how it's a health and safety issue like piercings would be, I do agree to remove earrings on PE days as I can understand that one, but the others seem strange to me. Would love to know others feelings and opinions on this

I really like it. it limits the competition in terms of hairstyles etc, and the chance if stuff getting lost/stolen with the drama attached. (i went to school in a country without school uniform- wouldn’t wish it on anybody!)

“How is this going to affect their learning?”

Let’s see...

• talking about Jo Jo bows when they’re meant to be learning
• fixing their hair when they’re meant to be learning
• worrying about their roots when they’re meant to be learning (who dyes their 6 year old’s hair?!)
• arguing about stolen bows when they’re meant to be learning
• crying when a bow gets tangled in their hair when they’re meant to be learning

Keep school simple. The children will learn more.

@myself2020 I do agree with uniform of course as I can understand how that can cause issues

@herculepoirot2 dip dying hair doesn't cause roots it just fades naturally :) lots of people do it. I just don't get why there's such negativity attached to wearing one bow, also my daughters are just cheap B&m bows I don't go for the fancy ones haha she never fiddles with her hair, bit weird that her teacher did though which will have interrupted her learning surely while she stopped her to take them out and re do her hair.

I like it.

Expensive fads put pressure on parents to spend money on nonsense, cause fallings out between kids and are a source of drama for everyone (including teachers) when they inevitably get lost.

Forcing parents to spend money on uniforms I'm on the fence about, but enforcing basic grooming rules I'm totally in favour of. Why not teach your kids to respect their teachers' authority rather than get so hung up on things that only distract from learning?

I also work at a school and it's never simple anyway so I'm not sure a bit of nail varnish makes much difference to the dramas of 4-8year olds lives haha they argue and get distracted by other things anyway, having a bow in their hair isn't going to complicate things any less imo

Your attitude to school rules for a 6 year old means that by the time she's 14 teachers will be rolling their eyes and hiding from you.
It's not about one extra bow. It's about the fact that child X will arrive with 8 in her hair, child B will have hers pulled out by child C etc etc. And the entire group will look like they're at hairdressing school or that they're picking nits off each other.

@SparklesAndUnicorns i still remember fights over hair accessories and bullying over nail polish 35 years later (my mum wouldn’t allow me to have nail polish at 6 years, other girls were allowed and were very superior about it...)

@FrancisCrawford they were just normal plaits! I thought it was a bit strange too!

It does, though. It’s easy to sit there and say “I can’t see why...” but actually, the staff can. If it didn’t cause issues, they wouldn’t think they needed a rule, because rules take time and effort and conflict to enforce.

What is going on with these threads recently?

We had schools being unreasonable for wanting shirts tucked in earlier.

FGS just follow the rules and wear a bow in your own time.

The world has rules. They'll differ location to location. Part of growing up is developing the maturity to understand that places have rules and sometimes you might not like them, are ambivalent to them but you've still got to suck it up

I find parents taking the view 'but how does this not uniform thing affect learning' to sound like a teenager who feels hard done to.

And before anyone takes the view 'typical teacher must love conformity and turning children to clones', I'm personally ambivalent about uniform. I just don't really get the need to dye primary aged children's hair to show how individual and unique they are/ how cool they are as a parent.

@TheCanterburyWhales I don't voice my opinions infront of my daughter or her teachers I do comply to the rules once I know them and someone has said something and my daughter knows to follow school rules. It's just a thought I've had for a while. Once I was told about the bows she hasn't worn one to school since I just thought it was silly

My mum wouldn’t have been able to afford cheap B&m bows and I always got bullied for not having stuff like that, not being as fashionable with hair etc. So it’s great that the school has guidelines in place to stop these problems occuring. I can see what you mean about more than 1 bow to an extent, but nail varnish and hair dye in a 6 year old is too much for at school in my opinion. She’s not going to loose out by saving that stuff for school holidays.

It makes a huge difference for the girls who's -sensible - parents don’t allow them to become fashion victims at 6 years of age.

Rather than blame the school you should have apologised to your DD for not remembering to read the rules and forcing her to lose her pretty bows. This is your fault OP. You are making yourself sound as if your child’s education isn’t important to you.

Isn't one of the main reasons to follow the schools rules and respect their policies. Being a good role model to your children and doing as the school ask?
I also work in a school and those things you mentioned do disrupt learning, children coming in from break complaining about child a's hair bows not being school uniform, teacher having to pause learning to discuss with child/class. Just save those types of things for the weekend or holidays.
And dip dying hair, seriously?!

I don't think people are getting me haha I do follow school rules and my daughter knows to also I'm not some woman who runs around shouting at teachers I work at a school I get it. I just wanted to see others points of view no conflict :)

Children need to learn that there are rules and dress code, it stands them in good stead for working later.

Six year olds don’t need nail varnish, they should e interested in playing than comparing beauty treatments.

Just do in the summer holidays as a treat like everyone else.

Wasn't asking for people to judge my parenting btw just a friendly conversation that's all. I get others opinions I don't get too angry about how people raise their kids unless it's in an unkind way obviously.

There has to be a line drawn and the easiest line is none at all, surely you can understand that? If it's one or two bows or clips or hair bands or colours, then individual teachers start struggling to keep a consistent approach across a whole school (is a JoJo now 'one hair bow'? Or doesn't it count because it's practically a hat? Whose parents will interpret the rules to mean two small ones are the equivalent of one big one?) and it becomes unfair. As soon as it's unfair, it's not uniform and it's all pointless.

@myself2020 that sounded pretty judgy. I'm not on some high horse I was along opinions on stuff not whether or not you think I'm a 'sensible' parent or making my child a fashion victim. I don't force stuff on her and she behaves well at school and follows rules and is a very happy child

If you don't like the school rules, no matter how stupid you think they might be, then select another school. No one has your arm up your back forcing your child to be there.

Society has rules, life has rules, organisations have rules.

(is a JoJo now 'one hair bow'? Or doesn't it count because it's practically a hat?

😂😂😂

My opinion, now I’ve thought about it a bit: school isn’t a fashion parade or a hair salon. It isn’t a place, either, for rampant individualism and “I want to express myself”. Nothing wrong with expressing yourself in small ways, but actually, I think the kids who learn to follow some basic rules (yes, to “conform”) tend to do better in the long run because they learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them and their hair.