To think banning stuff from schools is stupid

[SparklesAndUnicorns]

I like to think I'm quite a 'progressive' parent and I like my children to express themselves how they feel most comfortable, they tend to pick and wear what they want over the weekends and I do let them ocassionally change their hair colours with semi permanent safe dyes.
I agree with school uniform but my daughters school doesn't even allow hair bows, she went in with a few braids and bows in the other day and came home with a messy ponytail in and told me the teacher had taken them out. Teacher explained it's against school rules to have more than one bow in their hair. Aibu to think rules like no nail varnish, no hair accessories and no hair dye is just ridiculous rules? How is this going to effect their learning? She is only 6 and I really don't understand the reasoning. Surely if it's a bullying thing then this is down to parenting your child to accept that everyone is different, I can't see how it's a health and safety issue like piercings would be, I do agree to remove earrings on PE days as I can understand that one, but the others seem strange to me. Would love to know others feelings and opinions on this

Remarkably, I do @SparklesAndUnicorns.

But when you're a teacher and dealing with shit day in day out, you kind of get sick of parents thinking the rules don't apply to their precious moppet.

@theculture that is so interesting, it's nice to hear about different schools and their rules and how it effects the kids

@BenWillbondsPants of course I also work at a school and I don't think my daughter is a precious moppet at all haha and she follows the schools rules and guidelines. I only got told off once about the hair and then I didn't do it again. We save due and nails for holidays etc but they aren't that strict on nail varnish and dip dye anyway. I just like hearing what others think about it and good to have some conversations with some decent parents and teachers :D

My DD’s school do not mind bows and some wore JoJo bows for a bit. Now most don’t. DD thought they were a bit silly and wasn’t bothered.

I went to a primary school with optional uniform. Some chose to wear it, others didn’t. I can’t remember what anyone was wearing being any sort of issue.

@Emmapeeler I agree I think children are a lot more accepting than what people make them out to be. I don't remember half the clothes me or my friends wore at that age and I doubt my children will either

As long as rules are consistently applied and parents are advised before the start of any school year, I am inclined to agree with the school. Ideally simple rules if at all possible.

As for those parents who don't think rules should apply to their children, no sympathy at all for them.

@ForalltheSaints I agree with simple rules and I am not one of these parents who thinks they don't apply to my child. She is one of the well behaved ones and when I know about these rules we do follow them even though I think some are a bit strange haha.

OP, I agree with the rules about only one bow for the reasons others have mentioned, however I have been rolling my eyes at some of the nastier replies you’ve had. The fact that you’ve stayed so calm and polite in all of your responses speaks volumes to me about the kind of person and parent you are, and if you are passing that attitude onto your DD then I can imagine she’s a lovely, happy, well-mannered little girl, with or without her bows.

Ours don’t have any rules about nail varnish or hair styles/bows

I will warn you OP that your child is just about starting to hit the beginning of the "but everyone else has/is wearing/has their hair like X" phase of peak whine. The self-expression rapidly becomes replaced with needing a horrendously overpriced Smiggle backpack because absolutely everyone else has one and I'll absolutely die if I don't have the same... or "I need my hair like X's" (sorry love - X has hair that cooperates and falls into beautiful styles without question - you have hair that needs an ASBO to get into a ponytail).

Smiggle-child saved up the extra we would have paid between getting her a new supermarket backpack as hers was dropping to bits and what the horrendously priced Smiggle one cost herself incidentally.

@RoseGoldEagle thank you so much I appreciate it. And I appreciate you putting forward your opinion in a decent way. One thing I can't stand it judgemental people, Costs nothing to be nice!

I think it’s less about the bows and more about young children learning to accept and follow known rules that they personally may not like.
In primary it’s also about losing things, arguments about whose bows are who’s and lots of hassle that isn’t needed. I would also dispute that children don’t notice possessions- that being the case Smiggle would not exist. I’m wondering how the child without the money to purchase lots of different hair bows feels when they see a classmate with a different one every day?
I’m also thinking about children fiddling with them, asking for help putting them in, PE safety etc. Time for individuality outside of school; classrooms are for teaching academics but also teaching social norms and expectations.

Do you seriously let a six year old become so involved in their appearance they are encouraged to dye their hair? Sounds like those ghastly American pageants but with a presence of being hippy.

Pretence of being hippy.

@PantsyMcPantsface hahaha thank you for the pre warning. I love smiggle my children have never owned a single thing from there for your exact reasons, why is it so expensive!!! Dreading the teenage years haha

You say you work in a school. So you've never witnessed kids fiddling with hair,their bows,taking them in ,out,in out,rearranging them , arguing about them and the worst bit sharing them spreading nits all round?
Never ever?

I do think these rules are here for a reason as they think children will be less distracted if they are not concentrating on fashion.

Although my school had a stupid rule of your shoes must be black, my father bought me brown shoes and was then informed of the rules, when I asked why was it only black shoes, I was told (by a power mad teacher ) "I should never question the school rules" . Thankfully my parents brought me up, that it is ok to question anyone as long as you are polite and respectful. After a meeting with my father and the head Master, apparently my brown shoes were fine !!!!!

@CherryPavlova I totally understand your thoughts on the whole rules and safety and time etc I get where you are coming from.

Your comments on my daughters appearance wasn't asked for and it doesn't really matter to you whether she is allowed to use hair dye or whatever. She is a happy normal child and that's all that matters to me as it should other people :D nothing wrong with hippies anyway :)

I like to think I'm quite a 'progressive' parent and I like my children to express themselves how they feel most comfortable,

Oh wow! Your kids' teachers are going to HATE you!

@bourbonbiccy totally agree if you are questioning in a polite way why not!? I have never stormed into the school about it all as I don't mind about it because I do agree with you there is a time and a place (like on Mumsnet haha)
Perfectly fine to ask others what they think of the matter :)

@titchy thanks :) they don't but nice comment anyway

I can partially see where you are coming from.
I agree with the no hair dye and nail varnish rules. (not being prudish with that - dd has occasionally gone in with bits of nail varnish or tattoo, but not intentionally - they had been on a while in the holidays and we forgot to remove the remains).

The 1 hair bow limit sounds odd - what if a child has bunches? Dd has short hair so it can do times be easier to get it to reach bunches than a ponytail. I only use small bows though - the packs you get to go with school uniform. Having said that, her school did put a ban on Jojo bows (a-bullying, b- some were so big if a shorter child was sat being them in assembly they couldn't see).
Someone mentioned tops being tucked in. I am not aware it is in the dress code but some teachers in dds school tell them to tuck tops in. If they do then she does. However, a polo shirt tucked into her skirt will start to come out very quickly and look messy, so to me it looks neater left out.
The but we are unsure in is boots. Dd says they were told they couldn't wear boots. They could before and no info on a uniform change. Guide says black shoes, no trainers. Receptionist said boots are not shoes, TA I spoke to said they can wear them. Picture of teachers dressed up for book day and all the female teachers wore boots. If it us pouting with rain dd wears boots and puts shoes in her bag. A 10 minute walk in the rain, and the puddles outside the entrance they go in through means she would have wet feet all day as not home until 6 some days.

As women they’re probably going to spend most of their lives being judged about how they look or what they’re wearing. They shouldn’t have to be worrying about that when they are children learning. I’m grateful that schools keep the fashion parade to a minimum.

they don't but nice comment anyway

She's 6 and dyes her hair..... wait till she's 14 and you're posting you don't see why she can't learn with fluorescent blue hair....

@Talkingfrog I agree it's hard to know about boots etc, my daughters school are ok with stuff like that I don't consider them a strict school at all in my eyes. Always good to go and ask maybe. I thought the bows thing was odd too, they were small ones I've never put a huge one on her as her hair is too fine and soft and they fall out anyway. They're usually small ones but apparently that wasn't good enough for their liking! Must be one bow in school colours.

@titchy I have pink hair I am quite capable of doing my job. I don't see why it's an issue. Her teacher quite often has coloured hair also. Doesn't stop her from teaching the children. I wouldn't mind if she had bright blue hair.