To think banning stuff from schools is stupid

[SparklesAndUnicorns]

I like to think I'm quite a 'progressive' parent and I like my children to express themselves how they feel most comfortable, they tend to pick and wear what they want over the weekends and I do let them ocassionally change their hair colours with semi permanent safe dyes.
I agree with school uniform but my daughters school doesn't even allow hair bows, she went in with a few braids and bows in the other day and came home with a messy ponytail in and told me the teacher had taken them out. Teacher explained it's against school rules to have more than one bow in their hair. Aibu to think rules like no nail varnish, no hair accessories and no hair dye is just ridiculous rules? How is this going to effect their learning? She is only 6 and I really don't understand the reasoning. Surely if it's a bullying thing then this is down to parenting your child to accept that everyone is different, I can't see how it's a health and safety issue like piercings would be, I do agree to remove earrings on PE days as I can understand that one, but the others seem strange to me. Would love to know others feelings and opinions on this

I think what it comes down to is that you might want bows and hair dye and nail varnish because 'what harm does it do?'. Then another parent wants semi permanent eyebrow dye and fake tan because 'what harm does it do?'

In my experience, the more self-declared progrssive parents take an issue with the uber glam, fake tan, fake eyelashes, overglammed look on girls (and understandably so), but for me going the other way with bright hair dye etc on children of the same age is equally not-age appropriate. Both are more about parents communicating the type of parent they are, in my opinion anyway. (Broad comment by the way, not you personally).

The thing is if your DD has it then everyone else will want it too. And that’s a PITA for the other parents and turns school into a fashion competition. Just put the bow in when she gets out of school.

Life has rules.

It's good to get children used to them from the start.

I went to a Catholic school with vey strict uniform rules. We all looked really smart.

The teachers are there to teach. Imagine having to deal with all those bloody awful bows etc. Why on earth do 6 year olds need to have nail varnish on and dyed hair?

@MyOpinionIsValid lol I didn't say I hate the school and I was being forced into having her there I was just asking if anyone agreed with me. It's a good enough school tbh. Clearly no one does haha but oh well i like hearing others opinions as long as they aren't rude towards my parenting

Rules and learning how to follow them are an important part of learning. Suck it up and do what you want at weekends

OP, I'm with you. It seems incredibly strict for primary. On the whole I agree with uniform, but I also think kids should be able to express themselves freely. In my country of origin we don't have school uniforms. I had lots of crazy hairstyles and dubious fashion choices, but I see it as part of growing up and finding out who I was.
Cannot for the life of me see a problem with braids.

@ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule I do understand that and I guess I do agree with it. Unfairness etc I do want to make teachers lives easier and I don't go against rules i do make my child abide by them also. I'm not a rules are meant to be broken person haha nice to hear differences in opinions

You see, on top of all the other good reasons for why your kid shouldn’t wear monstrous bows on her head, which are all very valid, the other thing is that it puts pressure on my kid to comply with the ludicrous standard set by yours.

I don’t want my daughter to see herself as an object to decorate thanks very much. I don’t care if that’s how you see your daughter, but keep it out of school where they are there to learn. Ta.

The infirm thing is definitely to avoid distraction. It’s bows now but will one day be ‘X has been sent home because she refused multiple requests to roll down her skirt and stop flashing her pants to the entire class’.

Now it is hair bows. As with everything to do with kids it escalates as they get older.

Don’t be that parent who is standing up for her daughter’s right to wear fashion fishnets and eyelash extensions to school.

If that sounds like an exaggeration I can tell you I had that exact conversation with a parent last year. The girl in question would deliberately be five minutes late into class so that her outfit would have maximum disruptive impact.

Kids are social animals and one of the main reasons for uniform is to eliminate one way of showing off and distracting your peers. It is a PITA.

@forkfun one person who gets where I'm coming from hahaha

Having a simple to follow rule that's enforced is going to save time of the school staff having to make judgements, reduces some bullying opportunities and makes lives easier for parents imo.

I don't get why people make their lives harder by railing against the small stuff

Your girl may not fiddle with the bows in her hair but the other 16 girls in the class might.

Rules sometimes do seem daft, until you consider the disruption X number of children doing something causes.

Just follow the rules and don't be a twat.

@Waffles80 I sense some negativity haha you do you with your parenting I'm just stating an opinion without having a go at how others like to raise their kids. I get rules are rules and my child follows them but I'm allowed to question what others think about it :)

@SparklesAndUnicorns i was on the receiving end. my parents didn’t allow nail polish at 6 years, and didn’t have the money for fashion stuff and brands. As a result, i was bullied because there were no rules around what kids wore to school.
Believe me, it does a lot of harm. And 6 year olds really don’t need to be encouraged to define themselves by makeup and fashion accessories - they’ll be tempted do that soon enough anyway.

@BiggerBoat1 I never said I didn't did I? I just wondered what others thought on the matter. Would be nice if people had less attacking replies wouldn't it. People are so judgy at the best of times.

But your child doesn’t follow the rules right? Because you let her put bows in her hair when the rules say not to?

I'm on the fence . The school I teach in has very lax uniform rules , black shoes and a generic grey uniform, that's it. I have never seen hair bows/ styles / nail polish causing any problems .
However if the school has set those rules there must be a reason.

@myself2020 I was bullied too and I know a lot of people who have been and I followed the rules to a T. My daughter does too. I just question them secretly haha. I think no matter how you dress etc someone can always find a fault and that is down to parents and not school rules. If your child isn't accepting then you're doing a shit job. I'm sorry you went through it, it's not nice :(

I get where you are coming from OP!

DS(12) is in Y7 at high school and his hair grows ridiculously quickly and is very thick and wavy and the school rules state that the boys hair must be no shorter than a No3

DS has always had a No2 on top and a No1 at the back and sides and we allow tramlines etc during school holidays.

He looks so scruffy and “wiggy” with it longer and we have to try and style it with gel every morning so he looks presentable.

He’s at the barbers every 10 days or so as we try to keep it under control, I’ve told him when we go next weekend that he can have a No2 all over as I doubt in reality they’d be able to tell, but DS says that they can tell as if they suspect a students hair is shorter they pinch the side of their head and if they can’t pull hair then it’s too short!

I’ve no idea if that’s true but it wouldn’t surprise me, I’ve told DS that if he is approached by a teacher wanting to punch his hair then he is to politely refuse and ask them to contact me instead.

Crazy!

Why does a six year old need a shit tonne of bows in their hair, nail varnish on or hair dye?! Or their ears pierced?! FFS!!

I have actually worked in places that have very similar uniform policies in place for adults. Because it's work and not a fashion show. Uniform is about everyone looking the same. Let your child be adorned with all the tat that you desire when at home.

@Waffles80 because in reception she wore them all the time and the teacher never said anything. I only found out about this rule once the teacher in her year one class took them out and told me. I didn't purposely say "I know this rule is here and I'm going against it" haha I just found out and she doesn't wear them anymore :)

@SparklesAndUnicorns just answering your question “what harm does it do”. to your daughter - probably none. to the little girls who’s parents can’t afford bows etc - potentially quite a bit. and tgat can be easily avoided. as you - absolutely correctly - said, loads of other stuff will creep up anyway, let’s reduce the avoidable stuff!

@Fatted thanks for another parent judging comment it's so lovely :)

@AguerosAngel that's insane about boys hair length! Totally gone too far with the rules there!