Mother-in-Law insistent on not taking off shoes...

[FirstBabyOnTheWay]

MY MIL is lovely, she really is and we have a great relationship but whenever she comes to ours - in wind, rain, sunshine - she will not take her shoes off.

Once, she trod mud through our house and the carpet is still brown in that area - it had been raining horrendously.

We are about to buy a new house, with all new carpets and have a new baby due in August.

My DH asked her to remove her shoes but she won't... I don't know what to do? I am actually having the entire bottom floor done in wood because I am too terrified of her messing the carpets up as she destroyed our old ones. (They were filthy and a carpet cleaner wouldn't bring out the mark).

I don't want shoes in the house with a new baby and we show her round the top floor will be cream/beige carpets!

How do I address this? We are allowed shoes in their house and they have carpets from before my DH was born!!!

HELP... AIBU??????

when we show her round the new house*

Buy her a pair of slippers to keep at yours? Maybe she doesn’t like just going about in socks? What does she wear at her own house?

Buy her a gift of a pair of slippers you keep at your house.

Blue hospital scrub bags?

Tell her its shoes off in the new house and stand there looking at her expectantly. I keep spare slippers available for my mum as apparently my wood floors are really cold 🤷‍♀️

Can you not get some house slippers like a lot of other countries do (Scandinavia and Japan are the only ones I can think of right now!) you can pick up some pairs from Ikea or even poundshop!

Seriously don't get this. I can't even. How can she say no?! What does your DH do? Just let her traipse mud about? My MIL cares nowt what I say and just does what she wants too, but that's because my husband lets her. Hope yours is more of a team player than mine.

I'd also buy her some of her own slippers at your house. That would really gross me out at her house though with a baby 😱

Shoe covers? If you are stressed now, wait until baby is crawling. Drove me mad cleaning the floor as they both used to drop food on it then eat it by putting their mouth on the floor rather than picking it up.

It's rude to ask people to take off the shoes. Don't ask her.

Get her some slippers or shoes she can wear indoors.

Lots of people don't like being barefoot.

If you can’t get her to wear house slippers like suggested, buy those blue plastic shoe covers from Amazon and make her wear them.

Refuse to show her the top floor of your new house and when she asks why you will have to be truthful and tell her you don't want your carpets to become stained as they did in your previous home.

Tell her she is welcome to see the top floor but only on condition that she removes her shoes.

Proudly hand her a pair of slippers the moment she comes through the door and make a big thing of how you went out and got them for her specially and you've made a special place for them by the door because you know she doesn't like to be without footwear inside?

My MIl and FIl do this. They keep their own shoes on at home and massively resent being asked to do something different. After many rows with BIL and SIl and bitchy comments about their fusiness they mainly remove them in their house. They don’t in ours because I’m too embarrassed to push it and my H won’t. They ruined a white rug we had once 🤣

They bring slippers to BILs

Slippers with DGM stitched on top??!!

Make sure she has somewhere to sit down at front door to change however.

Two of my family have done this, one wiping muddy shit over carpets. That sorted out her as embarrassing for sure. My dad now brings slippers, I just gave him no choice. My house!

Get her a pair of plastic overshoes (like the ones they have at the swimming baths). They can be re-used so she'll be able to wear them every time she's over.

She probably has really smelly feet that makes her feel self-conscious about taking her shoes off .

It's rude to ask people to take off the shoes. Don't ask her.

Ruder to tramp shit and mud through

It's rude to ask people to take off the shoes. Don't ask her.

It's rude to traipse mud into someone's home that stains their carpets.

Shoe covers maybe, we don't wear shoes at home but my dad hates just being in socks so we have shoe covers if he is doing jobs for us. Otherwise he brings his slippers.

It's incredibly disrespectful. My dad is the same and I've come to the realisation that it isn't that he doesn't want to take his shoes off (he takes them off at his house and wears slippers) but that he doesn't he doesn't like me telling him what to do. It's a power thing.

What does your DH do or say when she refuses to take her shoes off?

@DaisiesAreOurSilver How is it rude to ask someone to take their shoes off?

You (and DH!) are just going to have to bite the bullet and be really strict about it, no matter how awkward it is.

I am a bit puzzled by how you’ve had carpet ruined by just one regular visitor refusing to take their shoes off? Does she have absolutely filthy shoes or something?