Aibu to have not offered Father’s Day to Ex-H?

[vivalasvindaloo]

Posting here as I’m not a lone parent (remarried).
Last year we swapped Mother’s Day and Father’s Day but mother’s day fell on my weekend anyway this year. Father’s Day also falls on DS (10) weekend with me. Ex hasn’t asked for time with DS on Father’s Day, but equally I haven’t offered. DS asked me if he was going to see his dad on Father’s Day, I had a nice day planned for me DS and his stepfather (my DH). Am I being U not offering it to the ex?

Yes YABU

I think becuase you DS asked to see his dad YABU

He should be with his dad, why do you think he should be with his stepdad instead?

As your ds is 10, surely he can decide if he wants to or not.

Maybe just an hour or so?
Wouldn't you like this if it was Mother's Day?

Would you be happy to not have Mother’s Day next year if it doesn’t fall on your weekend?

YABU. Offer your ex Father’s Day.

If Mother’s Day was on your ex’s weekend next year wouldn’t you want a swap?

Of course you’re being unreasonable. My husband’s birthday is mid June and often coincides with Fathers’ Day, his ex used to deliberately take the kids away then. They’re still angry about it.

Would you mind if Mother's Day was his day and did not swap with you?

YABU

Errrrm the most important person in this has asked if he can spend Father's Day with his dad.

Surely someone, either you or your 10yr old should find out if that's possible?

Hang on, read again.

You want ds to only spend Father's Day with his step father.
Ds wants to see his dad.

You want him to be with his step father.

You are unreasonably mean to your son and his father.

HTH

He hasn’t asked me if he can have DS on Father’s Day though, so I don’t know who it’s up to to suggest it iyswim. It’s DS weekend with us, surely ex would have asked if he wanted it?

Yes you are.

Your son wants it. End of story.

YABU.

How would you feel if Mother's Day fell on the weekend with his Dad and his father had arranged a nice day out with his son and Step Mum?

Of course you are

Maybe X hasn’t given it much thought?

Can’t you discuss it with him? Even if DS went in the morning and you did something else in the afternoon

You’re making yourself sound like a bit of an arsehole here.

I don’t even think DS isn’t that bothered, he just asked if he was seeing dad on Father’s Day not that he wanted to.

YABU!

You're son has asked, your ex might not have even realised yet

I'd never stop my DS seeing his dad on fathers day, and his dad wouldn't ever keep him from me on mother's day

It's one day, don't be selfish

So again as has been asked, you're alright for your ex to spend the day with DS when it eventually it's his time on mothers day?

You sound like an arse tbh

OP just message your ex and ask.if he's not bothered then keave as is. But don't wait, otherwise you may find next year if mothers day falls on his weekend he won't trade

Jesus.

Of course you being unreasonable.

Especially because you son wants to see his father!

Do what’s best for your child!

Why are you asking when you seem so sure you’re right?

He only has one dad. Your husband is not his dad. He should be with his dad.