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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am i 'sad' for buying a dress i have nowhere to wear?

221 replies

StripeyChina · 27/05/2019 10:55

I have been physically disabled for 15 years now.
Lots of weight gradually crept on over that time. For some years
I have been unable to work due to a combi of mine and dc disabilities.
I was broke and fairly housebound so lived in jeans and asda fleeces.
(not a 'tiny violin' fact, just the way it was)

I got a job last Sept and needed some smarter clothes so I bought some (ALL from charity shops). Sadly, I have just been dismissed because work say my disability renders me 'unable to fulfil my role'. (ACAS advise a disability discrimination case should be brought)

To cheer myself up last week, I bought a 2nd hand silver Prom dress. Clearly, I have (and will have) nowhere to wear it. But it looks lovely.

I bought it as I have tried really hard re my weight and managed to lose 7st over 2.5 years and I just wanted to feel glamorous (for £35)
At the weekend I was talking to my dd about it. STBEX called me 'sad'.
Kids (kind of) joined in. I felt very tearful and had a 'private moment'

But I'm worried they are right and I am a saddo?

OP posts:
Thequaffle · 27/05/2019 11:00

Not at all sad. You have a lovely dress. I have dresses I have worn once and don’t know when I will wear again. Should I chuck them out? No way!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/05/2019 11:00

I wouldn’t buy something I was never going to wear. You’ll need to find an opportunity. Maybe a photo shoot or a charity ball?

meiisme · 27/05/2019 11:02

I don't think it's sad at all. It's nice to do something for yourself, that makes you feel a bit giddy, every once in a while, especially if it relates to a private daydream. Nobody's business but your own. I'd definitely find £35 worth that.

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 27/05/2019 11:02

Nope, not sad in the slightest. It cheered you up. I understand about the weight and disability. I've only been disabled now for 2 years, but the weight is a nightmare to keep off.

Where your dress when no-one is around Flowers

LetsSplashMummy · 27/05/2019 11:03

I think that you should try and find a place to wear it! Your birthday? Go to an opera? Look for an event you can and want to attend and make the most if it!

Well done on the weight loss, and getting rid of Ex. Nothing sad about treating yourself.

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit · 27/05/2019 11:03

That's supposed to say 'wear' sorry

MyFavouritePlace · 27/05/2019 11:05

No it's not sad and maybe in some way this will lead to an opportunity for you to wear it.

AlyssasBackRolls · 27/05/2019 11:06

Not remotely sad! It's actually full of hope. Wear it when you're signing the divorce papers. Wear it when you're taking the bins out! There may be opportunities to wear it to parties or events in the future, who knows what lies ahead? Good for you OP. Ignore the rotten lot of them x

MayFayner · 27/05/2019 11:06

No, it’s not sad and who knows it might be just the thing for some future occasion.

That’s crap about your job. Here’s to getting a new job, soon, and with much nicer employers Brew Cake

Sparklesocks · 27/05/2019 11:07

I think it’s a really nice thing to do for yourself. As you say, you’ve only really had functional clothes for so long - you deserve something prettier that makes you feel good.

And you never know when you might wear it. Maybe you could have a formal party at home if you feel up to it, invite some friends over in their best frocks.

Nomummyonlyzuul · 27/05/2019 11:09

Ignore him! Well done on your weight loss too, you enjoy your dress, if it makes you feel good wearing it then wear it! Some people just love to bring others down, hes the sad one not you. I've a dress in my wardrobe that I've never worn out but its beautiful and it makes me happy so its staying.

BogglesGoggles · 27/05/2019 11:09

I buy beautiful things regularly even though they have no practical use for me. I also sometimes swan around the house in an evening gown because it makes me happy.

Rainbunny · 27/05/2019 11:10

Absolutely not OP! I have several dresses in my wardrobe that have been there for quite a while (years) that I almost never (and in some cases will not ever) have a chance to wear. Even if you just put the dress on in the privacy of your own home and enjoy wearing it with some wine and chocolates whilst watching your favourite film who's to judge? Do you have friends that might be up for a silly dress up evening? One of my friends once had a wedding dress themed party... to celebrate her divorce! We squeezed into our wedding dresses and had champagne and cakes, it was actually a lot of fun.

I find myself mourning the lack of chances to get dressed up in my life as the world around me becomes ever more casual. I'm completely guilty of it as well, I love wearing jeans to the office on non-client days and outside of work I'm usually in workout gear (not that I exercise that much) but I do love a chance to dress up. I have a secret desire to attend a ball in Vienna (only my DH knows about this).

Mari50 · 27/05/2019 11:12

I have a wardrobe full of dresses etc that I’m never going to have an occasion to wear but sometimes it’s just nice to buy something lovely and hope an occasion presents itself.....

Sigh81 · 27/05/2019 11:13

Not sad at all. Lots of us buy beautiful things things to swan around in behind closed doors. One day, you might have an occasion to wear it, you never know.

pinacollama · 27/05/2019 11:13

They’re wrong. I would buy something beautiful I fell in love with if it made me feel good. Like others have said, create the opportunity to wear it!

user1474894224 · 27/05/2019 11:14

I love hearing people swan around the house in an evening gown. Why not. These things are just left in the wardrobe. I would be tempted to invite a few friends around for cocktails and glamour, or cheese wine and ball gowns. (Think the friends scene when they all wear their wedding dresses ...but with out the witchy rituals).

8dayweek · 27/05/2019 11:14

I think it's a great thing to do. I have a wardrobe full of gorgeous things from my skinny days that I know I'll never get into again but I like knowing that they are there - if that makes sense (and that's probably more illogical!). I read an article once (I think it was linked to on a Style and Beauty thread on here) about women buying things and then "keeping them for best" as though we're not good enough to wear / use "luxury" items daily and it did make me more determined to make use of the special things I buy. Sounds like the best weight you lost was your Ex!

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 27/05/2019 11:14

£35 to feel good is a bargain. If you liked it ignore them!!

Mummyshark2019 · 27/05/2019 11:14

You're not sad OP. Your soon to be ex is for calling you that. What a loser. Doll yourself up and wear your dress. Sure you look fabulous.

Aimily · 27/05/2019 11:16

It's a pretty dress, it makes you feel good to put on, there is nothing sad about that!!
I think as pps have said, find an excuse to wear it, posh night out or a fancy dress party for your birthday.
Well done on the loss both the weight and the ex, no one has the right to tell you a treat is sad!!

MotherOfTheNoise · 27/05/2019 11:16

What's the point of life if you can't buy the pretty things? Definitely not sad for buying the dress! I wear ridiculous things often just so they get worn and it makes me feel on top of the world for that day! (Currently wearing a rainbow sequins skirt that my daughter picked out for me Grinluckily I'm not actually leaving the house today!)

Foslady · 27/05/2019 11:17

Went on a trip of a lifetime around 10 years ago to Florida. Found a little out of the way bargain basement type place where for $25 I bought the most beautiful evening gown ever.
I have worn it to wear a take away Chinese on my sofa and felt amazing! This dress is about you feeling beautiful in an unbeautifle world - sod them!

user1486915549 · 27/05/2019 11:18

Not sad at all
I bought some stunning red and gold sandals very cheaply in a sale.
They have very high heels and I knew I wouldn’t be able to , you know ...actually walk in them !
But I adore them and wear them at home sometimes.
Make me feel glam.

PinkHeartLovesCake · 27/05/2019 11:20

I’ve got beautiful dresses I’ve worn to 1 occasion and they’ve never been suitable for anything else, I probably won’t ever wear them again.

I don’t see you buying the dress any different to that really, If you could afford it and you wanted it then why the hell not?

Ignore your ex, I imagine he isn’t an ex because he’s such a lovely person so why does his opinion count