Am i 'sad' for buying a dress i have nowhere to wear?

[StripeyChina]

I have been physically disabled for 15 years now.
Lots of weight gradually crept on over that time. For some years
I have been unable to work due to a combi of mine and dc disabilities.
I was broke and fairly housebound so lived in jeans and asda fleeces.
(not a 'tiny violin' fact, just the way it was)

I got a job last Sept and needed some smarter clothes so I bought some (ALL from charity shops). Sadly, I have just been dismissed because work say my disability renders me 'unable to fulfil my role'. (ACAS advise a disability discrimination case should be brought)

To cheer myself up last week, I bought a 2nd hand silver Prom dress. Clearly, I have (and will have) nowhere to wear it. But it looks lovely.

I bought it as I have tried really hard re my weight and managed to lose 7st over 2.5 years and I just wanted to feel glamorous (for £35)
At the weekend I was talking to my dd about it. STBEX called me 'sad'.
Kids (kind of) joined in. I felt very tearful and had a 'private moment'

But I'm worried they are right and I am a saddo?

The dress is lovely ..you do have a special occassion to wear this dress ... Your photo shoot ..book it for the day of your divorce/separation and buy the largest photo to put on the wall of your lounge to remind you everyday that from that day your life is yours and you can do anything you want to be happy ...oh and get your book published ...happy new future OP xx

You are not sad and you should totally buy the dress. During a bad spell of depression and anxiety, when all the world was grim and bleak, I fell in love with a dress in a chain-store reject shop. A few weeks later, they still had a few left and had reduced the price even further. So I bought it - black tulle with a satin ribbon ruffle just above the hem, full skirt, ribbon halter neck and ruched bodice. Every twirl in front of the mirror brought joy and beauty into my life. In that dress, I wasn't Lizzie, unhappy childless divorcee. I was the ballerina my 4-year-old self had wanted to be. I was beautiful and free and loved my life. The dress must have been magic, because tiny bits of happiness and confidence seeped into me every time I did the private twirling.

I did wear it outside my bedroom once. On a cold and snowy day, I accessorised it with thick tights, a couple of woolly jumpers, boots and my winter dog-walking jacket. And me and my dog went twice round the park. I like to think I was a role model for little girls everywhere who want to wear army boots with princess dresses, just because.

That was about 35 years ago. I don't have the dress now - I gave it to an amateur dramatic company many years ago - but of all the clothes I've ever owned, that ridiculous flouncy satin and tulle twirly number still has the power to make me smile because it was once mine. And I loved it.

Buy your prom dress. Love it and love how you feel wearing it.

(((Oh OP))) hugs

FIRST! Don't listen to your dc. I've 2 lovely dc and they are sometimes completely oblivious that parents are people who have feelings, hopes, dreams, etc.

SECOND: your friend isn't. A friend.

Best wishes. Take good care and good on you for your weight loss.

I hope that having the dress in your closet will karmically inspire the universe to invite you to a fancy party. If not, wear it out with girlfriends. They will be happy to see you looking so cheerful and confident. Hugs.

Not at all. If it's perked you up it's the worth the money.
Well done on the weight loss.
Ignore anyone who says it's sad.
As a girl I knew once said, "If you don't have an occasion to wear something, make one!"
I have things I've not worn yet, most people do and to own a beautiful gown or beautiful clothes you love the pleasure isn't just from wearing it, it's also from the joy it brings you to just own it.

StripeyChina, congratulations on the weight loss (I hope you feel better for it) and in getting the job (even if it didn't last) as it shows you are trying to better your lot even if battling against the odds. As for the dress, I hope that you do find somewhere to go where you can wear it but if not, put it on one night, do your hair and make-up, get a friend or one of the kids to take a few nice photos of you then spend the evening online chatting/playing games/messaging on social media etc - anything where you can feel a little better about yourself for a few minutes/hours. I don't have excess weight issues but can relate to everything else as long-term chronic health problems mean I haven't been able to work for many years and have been skint because of it - you are not alone in having these type of thoughts. don't let anyone put you down for trying to cheer yourself up - why shouldn't you have just a little of the happiness others enjoy regularly? I hope things improve for you and something pops up that you get to wear your dress to - see if you have any accessories just in case.

Your family were being mean. Everyone deserves a bit of glam sometimes and losing all the weight certainly earned a treat.

At the weekend the DH and I dress nicely for dinner at home. We set the table properly with the best cutlery and china and I wear scent and jewellery before we have our glasses of fizz.

It is like going out to dinner but with no taxi or drink driving issues, better food and wine and no horrendous bill at the end of the meal.

Life is what you make it. A posh frock is the least every girl deserves.

The dress is beautiful lass.

I used to always be of the 'keep things for best' mindset. Thankfully my DDs aren't and I've learnt from them! One day we called by to check on the houses and DD had on legging type things and a longish black light silk skirt. She put her wellies on and walked her horse through to the next field. I took a picture as it was just all so picture perfect.

These days I'm attempting to drag my mind out of 'basic and necessary', i.e. ensuring arse is covered and I don't scare the neighbours, into loving what I wear. It's a slow process but am getting there

And fingers tightly crossed for a book deal!

I actually did that once.
I was single and broke and living in miserable digs. The dress was beautiful and fitted and I loved it. It was a second hand and a bargain.
Although I could not imagine where I would ever wear it I bought it and took it out of the wardrobe to admire sometimes.

Little did I know that in less than a year it would be my wedding dress.

I don't think it's silly at all. The right occasion will suggest itself and I hope you have a jolly good time when it does!

@YesQueen
It's gorgeous!!!

This thread makes me feel sad, because I can so relate, not because you are sad.

Disabled for almost 20 years, a great deal heavier than I'd like to be, my old life revolved around a particular music scene. I had the car, the clothes and the moves. Now all I have are the clothes. I know that I should sell my beautiful vintage dresses - I could certainly use the money - but they are a reminder of so many good times that weren't evidenced in hundreds of photographs. We were far too busy enjoying themselves to keep a record of it.

It's one dress, and if it makes you smile, it doesn't matter - wear that thing. Maybe organize a small dinner with friends asking them to dress for the occasion. It doesn't have to be expensive if you ask each person to bring a dish, and pull out your 'best' china

oops, ourselves

I know a lady who turned her suicidal life around when she started to wear her Grandmother's clothes. She has turned it into an art form, never dresses "normally", wears glamorous vintage outfits every day in all sorts of situations, and has used it to keep her depression under control.

Mariska Moon shares the joy of her vintage finds, and now has a sideline repairing and selling items she finds trawling estate sales etc. It has totally changed her life, and the pictures of the person she used to be bear little resemblance to the joyful creature she is today. She still battles with depression, but she has a better understanding of what she needs to overcome it. Clothes helped her get there, jeans are a thing of the past. Put on a smile and be a Mariska Moon, that's what I say

Pop the dress on set your camera on timer sit or stand next to a window with natural light and get a photo then get the reddit app and join redditgetsdrawn group. Then when anyone asks you why you bought it tell the nosey bastards you needed it for your portrait.

If you do do this message me I will do a kick ass image of you.

Also just wear the dress it’s fab no reason not to wear things that make you feel good x

I too bought a gorgeous dress about a year ago, I saw it in the charity shop for £8, it's a designer label and when I looked online it was £150. It was too small for me and it still is - I'm dieting and I don't know if I will ever fit into it. But I like to look at it and dream. We all need gorgeous dresses. I remember watching that clothes show with Trinny and Susannah years ago and they said 'don't save clothes for best!' They said if you love them wear them, for instance velvet skirts or sparkly dresses can be dressed down. I don't go anywhere posh but still wear posh dresses, even just to go to a meal out or a special family dinner. Due to my job I have to mainly wear scruffy clothes so I grab any opportunity to dress up. Take no notice what people say, flaunt your style and wear your beautiful dress!

Not sad at all! Good for you, you bloody deserve a treat so get yourself out and enjoy your dress! I bet you'll look utterly FABULOUS xx

Congratulations on dumping the dead weight (and the 7st).

Your ex sounds like a dick. The dress hasn’t made you destitute and you aren’t about to start spending every last penny on glitzy evening wear and I agree that £35 for a bit of confidence and a smile on your face is a pretty reasonable price to pay. Enjoy your lovely dress and ignore your bully of an ex. The kids are just copying him, remind them that dressing up is fun for grown ups as well as kids (and that unkind words are hurtful, mums have feelings too).

Definitely not sad. I can recommend a great movie about this very thing. It's called Mrs 'Arris goes to Paris with Angela Lansbury. Set in the UK and she sees a dress she loves but will never wear but desperately wants to get it.

No lovely it's not sad, you've had a fairly crappy time & if it makes you feel good, it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else. Wear it to clean in (be carfeful), watch tv or to sit in the garden.

You deserve it, wear it shopping next time you go.