Am i 'sad' for buying a dress i have nowhere to wear?

[StripeyChina]

I have been physically disabled for 15 years now.
Lots of weight gradually crept on over that time. For some years
I have been unable to work due to a combi of mine and dc disabilities.
I was broke and fairly housebound so lived in jeans and asda fleeces.
(not a 'tiny violin' fact, just the way it was)

I got a job last Sept and needed some smarter clothes so I bought some (ALL from charity shops). Sadly, I have just been dismissed because work say my disability renders me 'unable to fulfil my role'. (ACAS advise a disability discrimination case should be brought)

To cheer myself up last week, I bought a 2nd hand silver Prom dress. Clearly, I have (and will have) nowhere to wear it. But it looks lovely.

I bought it as I have tried really hard re my weight and managed to lose 7st over 2.5 years and I just wanted to feel glamorous (for £35)
At the weekend I was talking to my dd about it. STBEX called me 'sad'.
Kids (kind of) joined in. I felt very tearful and had a 'private moment'

But I'm worried they are right and I am a saddo?

I've done that before. The garment gives me joy just looking at it in the wardrobe. I'll never wear it, knew when I bought it I'd never wear it - but wow- I felt so good about buying it. Don't let anyone steal your joy!

Well done on the weight loss - that's some achievement!

I think they were very cruel - how old are your children? If teens they should understand you've been through a lot and if younger they need to be told that nastiness will not be tolerated.

Nope, not sad at all, I have a tiara that I wear around the house when no one is in, when I catch sight of myself I feel like a princess! It makes me happy. Buy yourself a tiara but don't open the front door when wearing it like I did

Your ex is a spiteful arse and he’s probably only said that to put you down because he doesn’t want to see you looking or feeling good. His comment says more about him than it does about you.

Your kids were being dicks. They’re probably lovely kids most of the time, but no kid on earth makes it to adulthood without being a dick at some point. It’s not personal and I bet their jaws will drop at how fantastic you look when they first see you in it.

Oh, and the dress is fabulous!

It's beautiful OP. Well done on everything you've achieved.

The only thing I find sad is that your own children are mocking you, and obviously your ex is a Dick.
Well done you for looseing the weight and that you have some inspiration.
You should go and make some plans and wear that dress.
I'm sure you will look fabulous and make sure you get loads of pictures

Get a ticket to Proms In The Park for next year. Pack yourself a gorgeous picnic and take your children or just go by yourself. Wear your dress. Be fabulous like the woman you are.

Well he's an ex for a reason, isn't he?
I have several dresses I wear very little but I like having them. And sometimes there is an occasion, albeit not necessarily one I might expect - like a murder mystery party where I was asked to play a character!

It's 35 quid, not 350. Enjoy it.

Well done on the weight loss. Not remotely sad to buy a pretty dress (and so inexpensive), you paid for it and it cheered you up after a horrible week.

Don’t let other people drag you down OP. Some people are just mean. Enjoy your dress. Big hug to you.

@LuckyLou7
Great idea!

Just another one chipping in to say I've done that too with a beautiful pair of shoes.

I also understand about the being housebound and gaining weight. I have been severely agoraphobic for 15 years now and have gained about 7.5 stone in that time.

You have inspired me to buy something I love even if the extra weight is still there. Just hope it's not too long before I find the dress/skirt/shoes of my dreams!! You wear that dress whenever you like. It's great that it makes you feel good. Who cares what STBEH thinks, he's STBE!!

Go for it. I've worn a ball gown to clean out the chickens.

In your case, I'd find a charity formal or dinner dance or something like that, get your hair and make up done, and go, even if you go on your own.

I think it's a bloody shame people don't get to dress up these days. My granny hadn't two bob to rub together, but she was always going to "a do", whether it be the darts/bingo dinner dance in the local community centre. And she was always impossibly glam.

And I'd go through my kids like a sack of shit if they mocked me like that. Kids and men are the better for realising that their mother/wife can still be stylish, talented, desirable - a human adult, basically

What a beautiful dress! An absolute steal at £35.

Good for you OP - now you need shoes to match the dress !

I have shoes/sandals/heels I buy when they are reasonably priced because ... I just like them. I don’t give a feck what anyone else thinks and I don’t tell anyone who would judge me. I see them as my version of an ornament that some people buy.
My DD thinks it’s great I have this stash and hopefully she may wear them one day.

What makes you happy and hurts no one is never sad.
Host a party at home, take a photo.

I have several fancy gowns I bought on eBay. I wear them at Xmas and on New Year's Eve. At home. With no visitors. Who cares?
Your ex is a dick!

Definitely not sad. I've made loads of 'well it was pretty and I'm sure some occasion will come up eventually' purchases.

If you do want an excuse to wear it have a black tie birthday - home made buffet, all the sparkly pound shop decorations you can get your hands on and ask all your favourite people to come in something that makes them feel glamorous.

Also congrats on the wait loss, that's phenomenal!

You should start a new Christmas tradition of dressing up for dinner and include your kids in(though do gently explain that they are old enough to appreciate being unkind is hurtful)
Years ago my niece (she was about 11yrs old)was watching a Christmas film, as few days before the big day-they had a scene where the whole family dressed beautifully for Christmas dinner.
She then asked If we all could do it too, even for just a little bit-she loved dressing up. Guess what, we all could think of no good reason not too and so a new tradition was born.
So we all pitch in, make the food, lay the table and then go off into our respectives corners to dress up.
I have to say, we all enjoy it very much (I may or may not have a tiara!)

When I could fit into it, I used to wear my wedding dress around the house. I used to mainly do it at the dcs bath time. I don't see why you can't just wear it around the house. The people who say you can't are small minded. The world is full of people that like different things, who are they to judge you? Wear it when you want.

I have several dresses like that and use them as "artwork" in my bedroom. They are just pretty to look at. Nothing wrong and everything right with doing something that gives you pleasure!

Promise me you will wear that dress to eat takeaway pizza and drink champagne on the first night your prick of a STBEXH leaves home. Please.

Your ex is a sad loser for putting you down and your children follow him. Say "fuck you", buy another dress that you can wear in your daily life (and sure, wear the pretty one at home alone, put some music, dance, sing or do whatever you like, just to make yourself feel good), take care of yourself as much as you can and you will stop feeling sad. One day another man will appreciate you for how you are.

I've bought lots of dresses in the past and given myself a goal to aim for, ie. losing enough weight to wear it, DC being independent enough for me to have a night out, arranging a big night out for a group of us etc. It may have taken me a year or so, but I have always achieved my goal and had a reason to wear them. I currently have a beautiful Karen Milan dress (from a charity shop) and my goal is to lose the baby weight from my current pregnancy and wear it out to a wedding or something.