Am i 'sad' for buying a dress i have nowhere to wear?

[StripeyChina]

I have been physically disabled for 15 years now.
Lots of weight gradually crept on over that time. For some years
I have been unable to work due to a combi of mine and dc disabilities.
I was broke and fairly housebound so lived in jeans and asda fleeces.
(not a 'tiny violin' fact, just the way it was)

I got a job last Sept and needed some smarter clothes so I bought some (ALL from charity shops). Sadly, I have just been dismissed because work say my disability renders me 'unable to fulfil my role'. (ACAS advise a disability discrimination case should be brought)

To cheer myself up last week, I bought a 2nd hand silver Prom dress. Clearly, I have (and will have) nowhere to wear it. But it looks lovely.

I bought it as I have tried really hard re my weight and managed to lose 7st over 2.5 years and I just wanted to feel glamorous (for £35)
At the weekend I was talking to my dd about it. STBEX called me 'sad'.
Kids (kind of) joined in. I felt very tearful and had a 'private moment'

But I'm worried they are right and I am a saddo?

Totally agree about starting a new tradition and dressing up for it. We once did it with friends when I was young. Or invite friends over for tea all dressed up and take pictures! Myself I'm getting excited about it! Since we moved to the suburbs and starting to work from home, I lost the desire to dress nicely and your post reminds me that it's important for our well being as women.

When you feel good about yourself, nobody will dare telling you that you're "sad".

If you're anywhere near London, it would be great for a masked ball/secret cinema/immersion evening.

Not at all .
Well done on weight lose. ( wish I could too)
You got a bargain.
Do wear it , even you down dress with a denim or leather jacket, and just go out for tea.

I was going to suggest one of those stately home summer picnic concerts. They usually have an accessible area and assistance for people with disabilities plus the tickets are relatively inexpensive. I have often seen people in black tie clothes eating a picnic and necking prosecco. Everyone else looks on, laughs and thinks “wish we’d thought of that!”

Oh love, you are not sad AT ALL! You’re brilliant! This is a great thing to do. Goals!!!! Life goals!!!

I did the same 3 years ago just before I left the ex. I bought boots and a very expensive leather short skirt in Reiss. I’d NOWHERE to wear it, and I wondered if I was losing my marbles a bit, but my friend said I was buying for my future me she was right! I’ve worn both items lots of times since

You’ll fit in to that dress, and the social life willl come, I’d thats what you want

Ah. I'm in a field full of sheep in Northumberland, sadly.
The move to London will require the #book deal (or a lottery win!)

But, yes, I could wear it the day the Separation comes through.

And I think I bought it (and the smarter work clothes and a less glitzy cocktail dress £6.99, all charity shop bargains :) as an outward indicator of the faith I am trying to have that I can turn my life around (fake it till you make it :)

THANK YOU ALL. (if I ever get a good pic of me IN it I will put it up, even if it means resurrecting this thread by the time its a zombie :)

First off, congratulations on the weight loss - 7 stone is no mean feat! Secondly, if that dress gives you a boost, sod other people's opinions (especially STBXH - none of his bloody business anyway). Enjoy the dress and the fab feeling it gives you - it is most deserved.

I hope all goes well with ACAS.

(still reckon a murder (non) mystery with (picture) of ex as victim (would have fun creating your own story - hey there's a ready made thread angle there - introduce the thread & see where it goes could be fun (a bit of a giggle) for (sad people like me) insomniacs :) (lots of us on here!) :)

I'll tell you a secret, OP. I have lots of pairs of shoes that realistically I won't wear again but are too precious to give away. They cost a lot more than your dress. When I'm on my own I try them on and they make my legs look fabulous. Enjoy it! Not sad at all!

That is such a gorgeous dress! I bet you look stunning in it too. I'll also bet that the lump of shit that you're getting rid of is the sort that puts people down just to feel better about himself or to put people 'in their place'. Definitely a dress for a divorce party.

I have a whole load of beautiful shoes that I can't bear to get rid of even though I'll never wear them again due to joint fusion, but they definitely spark joy just to have and look at.

OP that dress is stunning

Of course it’s not sad! You bought a lovely thing to treat yourself, reward yourself for your amazing weight loss and to just have, whether you wear it or not. I have loads of stuff in my wardrobe that I haven’t necessarily found a way or occasion to wear but still love nonetheless. And there’s no reason you won’t end up wearing it - I second pps who suggest throwing a fancy frock party. I would totally come in my fanciest of frocks.

I did something similar op. I have to wear clothes that are easy for me to put on and take off as I'm also disabled, they tend to be tracksuit trousers and t-shirts, I never feel good about myself. I bought a stupidly extravagant pink taffeta party dress on sale from Lindy Bop and I put it on when I feel really down.
I'm sorry your children followed their fathers example, try not to dwell on their behavior as they were just copying that of their father. Enjoy your dress, you've earned it.

Not a saddo in the slightest, you've spent your money on something you want.

If you want to wear it to clean the toilet - dress up and clean away.

I bet you look lovely in it.

I keep my wedding dress handy and I wear it just for fun.

Life's too short, anything that cheers you up is a good thing.

I love this thread! I have clothes that I love but will not fit or likely wear again as we don’t go out anywhere much, but you never know!

An authors photo for your book is the perfect excuse to wear the dress!

I'm really looking forward to seeing you in it when you publish your book. It's OK if I tell everyone I saw it first on this thread right?? It's a gorgeous dress, and you should wear it lots!! I do think it needs some glitz too - perhaps a tiara? A fancy necklace? You've got some shopping to do OP!!

Seriously OP - you could have spent that amount of money on a couple of bottles of wine and a take away. Instead, you have a glamorous beautiful dress - look at it as medal for your weight loss achievement. What is to stop you wearing it about the house, if you enjoy it - you've earned it.

Oh and the job was a set back, the weigjt loss and the glam dress in your wardrobe are proof you are on the road to better.

Good luck OP.

Its a lovely dress Stripey - I hope you have fun wearing it.

Is it wrong to buy something beautiful? Is it wrong to own something that made you feel joy?
What's sad is not to appreciate beauty. Enjoy your dress in anyway you can wear it, look at it, displayed it.
You've had a rough time don't let anybody get you down.

Go for it .... and enjoy iy.

Inspired by your thread, I have just bought a devine Liberty pure wool jacket from a charity shop. I have no-where smart to go, so wore it with my jeans to go to Aldi ... strangely, it gave me a real lift.

Congratulations on the weight loss, the ditching of the horrible STBX and the completion of your book! 👏 If that combination doesn’t deserve a celebratory dress purchase then I don’t know what does!

My friends and I were sad a couple of years ago when we realised we never got to dress up fancy for anything, so we hosted a ball gown NYE party at one of our houses! The party itself wasn’t fancy - just 8 of us drinking Prosecco and eating canapés in my friend’s living room. But we all looked so glam and really enjoyed taking lots of pictures together

You lot, you know where you can wear your posh frocks? On a cruise!

MrsExpo
a LIBERTY wool jacket sounds lovely!
Great you wore it with jeans to Aldi too.
I am happy that this thread is not only supportive for me but is getting all inspirational - yay!

Just think how grumpy that would make STBEX. Hah!

New Years Eve black tie do! Lots of hotels do them and they can be great fun! Not been to one myself for many, many moons but it’d suit you to the ground!