AIBU to think young children can manage fine with their mother away Mon-Fri?

[UndertheCedartree]

Just interested in opinions/experiences of this

If they have a competent other parent or guardian then yes.

Well, yes

Slightly more info needed but I would say if they’re being cared for by another competent parent then of course it’s doable. Nobody would bat an eyelid at a father working away.

Yes, sure, if they have a decent primary carer for the five days, they will be fine.

If they have another loving parent with them then maybe but it might be distressing for them and cause problems in their relationship with their mother, particularly if she has been the primary carer up till now.

Not seeing their mother at all Monday- Friday? It would affect the bond in a really young child I would imagine

That depends entirely on the individual child/mother/alternative caregiver/situation. When I was a child it would have totally killed me being without my mum that long, but now as a nanny I look after children whose parents barely glance in their direction and they cope fine, because that's all they've ever known.

Child would be fine but i think it would damage their relationship with the mother.

I considered this as a single parent nearly 20 years ago and I thought no and still do. However I do think that it depends on the age of the child and the carer or other parents capabilities.

So for a Child aged 1 to 5 and 12 to 16 then no, as young kids and teens need their mother around even more than other ages of kids.

I am sure they would cope but they shouldn’t have to.

Actually what furryslippers said is probably correct, of its all the child has ever known it would probably be okay as that would be their normal.

If not of.

Is this due to illness @Under? It would be better to explain the circumstances than have people make their own assumptions.

If they were with a very present other permanent carer then yes

How young? 1 month is different to 1 year is different again to 3 years...

1 month I’d be uncomfortable. 1 year it would depend on the child and by 3 mine would certainly have coped (they don’t like it when DH or I are away (both happen rarely) but they can easily be distracted and are all bright and breezy).

Yes especially with modern technology (military ladies often have to manage it plus other careers) but I think the mothers struggle more than the kids. It’s also easier at a younger age as then it’s just the norm.

Do you mean every week or as a one off?

Every week, or as a one-off?

If it's one time, then sure, every week then it depends on the age and temperament of the children and who'd be looking after them.

I don’t think there’s any job in the world worth it for me not to see my children Mon-Fri.
I know people are saying no one batters an eyelid at a father doing this, true, but I still think it’s weird that a mother would actually want to.

Ok - a bit more info. The children are 7 and 12. Mum has probably been primary caregiver but Dad very involved. Children are with Dad during the week and Mum Fri afternoon - Sunday eve. Parents are seperated.

I think it would be hard for a child if either parent works away if they have a close bond with them. And if they don't have that close bond then it may be hard to develop one later in those circumstances. It's a bit sad, although I know sometimes it's unavoidable.

No-one would bat an eyelid at a dad working away all week.

Far too little information to say.

Although I would note that the judgment applied to women who may have to do this for work is far greater than that applied to men

I don't think so. I think all children would miss either parent if they are away for most of the time.

For one week, no probs. Every week, quite a problem for all parties, I would think. Like being a non-resident parent with weekend access - sorry.