AIBU to think young children can manage fine with their mother away Mon-Fri?

[UndertheCedartree]

Just interested in opinions/experiences of this

Every weekend with an "absent" parent is far more than many DC get!

They will be fine!

So much sexism and mum shaming on this thread. How come it's OK if a dad does it, but not a mum????

I recently worked in a role that meant being away Monday to Friday 2 or 3 weeks a month, I had lots of colleagues who had children male and female, it's absolutely fine as long as you have a partner who is a partner in the truest sense of the word. They also had work from home weeks to compensate for time away and some stuff they felt they had more quality time with their children than they did commuting Monday to Friday

They'll be fine.

They aren't "young children" as I'd understand it; they are kids. It would be different with toddlers/preschoolers as they wouldn't understand the change.
They will be looked after well by their Dad, they will understand your absence, and I am sure it will be absolutely fine.

I hope you get the healthcare you need and are able to spend more time with your children soon.

So much sexism and mum shaming on this thread. How come it's OK if a dad does it, but not a mum????

Threads where one parent gets all the week day drugery and the other get all the weekends always get the same response on here regardless of it being Mum or Dad I've found. As would a switch from primary carer to just weekend contact.

However, the context completely changes it it this case.

@nannyred I have no problem with coherent sentences, thanks. A 20 year old or adult child would hardly be described as a young child! I gave the facts that I wanted opinions/experience based on.

Havnt read thread but a mum being away Monday to Friday every week is a lot to expect children to cope with :-(

@Gruzinkerbell - thank you. It is too far away for my children to come during school time but they have come up in the holidays.

It's confusing from your post. Children currently live with their dad during the week and see you at the weekend? Or this is what is being considered and currently rly mother has them more? If this is already established and been the norm, why do you now want to change it? Have your circumstances changed?

Havnt read thread but a mum being away Monday to Friday every week is a lot to expect children to cope with :-(
Read the thread and come back ffs.

Thank you @gamerwidow @jacqueshammer

It's confusing from your post. Children currently live with their dad during the week and see you at the weekend? Or this is what is being considered and currently rly mother has them more? If this is already established and been the norm, why do you now want to change it? Have your circumstances changed?

Read the OP's posts...

They'll be fine - I have worked as Asia for months at a time with my OH being the primary carer looking after them ni the UK. They are now 17 and I'm back in the UK. It's all fine :)

@gamerwidow

Not everyone can read full threads it’s up to poster to make things clear as possible .
I’ve got the just of things that children are 7 and 12 and with father other times so it changes things . Just roles reversed basically so a pointless post

My issue would be that dad seems to get all the donkey work and mum seems to get all the down time?

It sounds like they are managing already, you said they are with their dad Mon-Friday already? It will have it's consequences, I imagine.

Its not an ideal situation, my only advice would be to make sure the kids know they are a priority in your life, regardless if you see them during the week or not, this can be done with phone calls, messaging etc. Maybe a midweek ice-cream or meal out.

I’ve just given up doing this. Worked away in US, China and various parts of the Uk (where all my teams were based) for much of my career and kids childhoods. Bottom line was they were fine whilst small, as they got older (now 10, 7 and 4) they absolutely hated it. Tears, missed me hugely. Huge strain on the family. Of course they were with their dad but wanted me too. They hated it also when their dad was away but he was away far less. I am glad I gave it up but everyone is different

We cannot shelter our children from all of life's knocks, just try to help them deal with them as best as possible, OP.

In fact, I think the most vulnerable people in this world include those who have never been exposed to problems while they were growing up.

Get well soon, OP, and don't worry.

@starsparkle08 if it’s beyond your capabilities to read, perhaps your opinion isn’t worth having...

As you are receiving medical treatment I would suggest your children may well need some additional support . Because what was their primary care giver is in hospital . Clearly if that’s what you need and they have a loving parent to care for them that’s best .

@theworldistoosmall the pastoral care at the children's school has been amazing. I talk to them a couple of times during the week. Any more is unsettling. But of course they can phone me if they want.
Thank you @grotesque

Thank you @geekone @MrsGranny @squigglesworth @gingerkittykat

Did read, but didn't see the update posted. You're currently recovering hospital treatment and will do for quite some time yet. I don't see a reason to beat yourself up or assume your children will have issues with you being away- you're dealing with your health and see them every weekend. This is a completely different scenario from making choices to stay away as you by necessity have to spend less time with them. Do you believe they will move back with you after your treatment is complete? Or will you move closer to then and their dad to be make it easier to see them?

Thanks @lyralala

This is standard scenario for all separated parents
Genders reversed no one bats an eyelid of course mum being the absent parents raises eyebrows but it shouldn't