AIBU to think young children can manage fine with their mother away Mon-Fri?

[UndertheCedartree]

Just interested in opinions/experiences of this

They will be absolutely fine OP, you're getting necessary medical treatment, a well mum is what's important and even if it was just working away that would be fine too! They are with their father not in a workhouse, some ridiculous judgement on here.

I think it's terribly sad and detrimental to them, if you were their main caregiver then you will also be their primary attachment, to force children to part from their main attachment can cause serious emotional problems ☹️ Can I ask what made you decide to have them only at the weekends and your ex during the week if you were their main caregiver?

Kids go to boarding school at these ages. Not ideal, maybe some issues later, but do what you have to. I'm surprised at the nanny upthread who doesn't know that damage doesn't always show immediately.
This is like 50/50 parenting, common enough.

Thanks for the advice @thewaronpeace

Thanks for all the well wishes

They are with their FATHER during the week. They will be fine.

If anything wouod be worrying me is more the fact you have spent so much time in hospital. I’m assuming this was something serious and that the children will have been quite worried.

After that, yes I’m sure te dcs will have been fine.
After all, this is not such a different set up than when one parent is away for work.

So sorry, just seen you are getting treatment. Then absolutely, you do what you need to do to be the healthiest you can. Wish you all the best xx

COULD POSTERS READ THE OP’S UPDATES BEFORE POSTING?

You would learn that she is hospital during the week and no she is being awful towards her dcs and whatnot.

@starsparkle - a pointless post? It isn't to me obviously! And it is you making all sorts of assumptions rather than reading what I have written

^Sad twat , you clearly didn’t read yourself I’ve got the just of the thread .
Troll off perhaps to the toilet^

What’s a just of the thread?!

They will be fine OP. They are safe, well-cared for and loved by both parents. That's the most important thing.

Of course it's not ideal, but it is so much better for them (as well as you) that you get the treatment you need. You are doing your absolute best for them, and part of that is getting medical care for yourself.

If you and their dad are separated they will spend periods away from one parent regularly anyway. Lots of children spend this amount of time away from their mum or dad and are absolutely fine.

Wish you all the best OP

@crunchymum - Dad doesn't mind the donkey work as long as he doesn't have to think! I organise all school/extracurricular/party/appointment stuff. I also do a lot of housework/sorting/organising at the weekend. (Children live in their family home permanently - Dad moves in during the week)

Your DC know where you are and why, it's actually a positive thing for them to build a day to day relationship with him as well as the one they have had with you. You both love and care for them, their "home" is settled all is good

CAN OPS PUT THE RELEVANT INFORMATION IN THEIR OP PERHAPS

Oh FFS people read the thread!!

It's fine, OP. Your DC sound happy, so should you be.

If you can’t invest enough in a thread to read it through, then why is your opinion even worth typing out? ‘We’ as the various people who comment on these threads, surely always do so with the best of intentions towards the OP? If you don’t have the few minutes in you to read and fully understand what you are commenting on, it renders your input bloody pointless. Surely we all have some duty of care towards the people who post here? Not to say nasty things without knowing the full situation. What’s the point in filling up the thread with “I haven’t RTFT, but you’re terrible OP”. This is someone’s life here. Read the thread and then form an opinion for goodness sake.

@coyoacan - thank you
@sd1978 - they currently live in my house full time - their dad moves in during the week. So - yes - they'll be living with me once I'm home fulltime

Well said @theWaronPeace

My mum left us for work Sunday to Thursday when I was 10. I am 46 and she is dead now but I still quite can’t forgive her. I really needed her. I had a very capable dad but I didn’t really want him to take me to buy my first stuff for periods. I wanted my mum.

@bibbitybobbityyhat - I put the relevant information that I wanted opinion/experience on

@UndertheCedartree

Sorry didn’t mean to cause any upset , your initial post was brief. Had it had a little more information it would have helped . Best wishes

Thanks for the advice @thewaronpeace**

You’re welcome! I hope you didn’t find it condescending, that would be the last thing I was trying to do. I had a lot of quite huge stuff kept from me as a child, and I formed my own completely messed up understanding of things. Now I see it in my work, and feel so strongly that children should be told the truth as kindly as possible, and again to be told all of the obvious stuff - the love and care side of things is so deeply ingrained in us as parents, that we can forget sometimes that our children do question it. They have insecurities and confusion about things that we assume are clear. You’re doing your best, just get yourself well.

I think as long as everything is provided for, as long as they have parents that love them and whom they love and trust in, as long as they are being cared for and know they are safe, then kids can get through a lot.
My mum put my brother and I in full time childcare from 12weeks, we were dropped off at 7am in our PJs every day, to get dressed and go from there, then we put our PJs on again at night and were collected at 7.30, we just slept at home during the week until I was 10. My dad worked away for months at a time. Then when I got older my dad had shifts at home and mum worked away.
I could always contact either of my parents if I wanted. Our weekends were special family time and we did so much.
Now as a parent I have chosen to work 2days a week and stay with my kids the rest of the time. But if I had to leave for a long period of time to get well then I would do it in a heartbeat because my health, and ability to give a lot of myself to them, is so so important. Whatever it takes. You got this.

@MollysMummy2010 - my girl is only 7 so this won't be an issue. I can understand why you wanted your mum