My mum has asked me to help with my sisters college costs.

[Shootingstar1115]

Hi all, my sister is 16 and going to college in september and there will be added costs like equipment she needs etc and the bus pass etc which will probably cost around a grand.

There is no reason my parents couldn’t afford this if they were careful. They knew she wanted to go to college so why not save up? They both work. My mum only works part time but my stepdad earns a decent wage. They seem to spend above their means. Will pay out for 2-3 holidays a year, days out, night so out but as soon as something comes along like a car repair or a school trip, college!! They haven’t got it for these things. They also live in a council house and there rent is soo cheap (compared to private rent in the area anyway) so I’m not sure where they go wrong.

So I moved out when I was in my late teens. I was financially independent before moving out because they were just terrible with money.

Myself and OH are sort of average when it comes to earnings. We aren’t rich (far bloody from it 😭) but we aren’t poor either and don’t receive any Financial help and own our own home so everything is down to us.

But she’s asking me to help out with the college costs. I’m all for helping people out but it seems unfair that they have been on 2 holidays this year (we haven’t had a holiday in 5 years). Surely I’m not being unreasonable to think this is not my responsibility??? My sister is 16, she could get a part time job surely? I had to at that age!!

My mother has never helped us out financially. My mum receives a huge amount of money off my grandparents who have quite a bit stashed away (they aren’t rich but have saved saved saved all their lives). I just can’t help thinking this is not my place.

We aren’t talking borrowing 30 quid, she wanted £300 odd. We simply haven’t got that kind of money to give out!!

We also have two children so money is tight at times!

Say no, you can’t afford it

Say no, you can't afford it anyway

Then tell her no. If they struggle, tell them there are hardship funds they can apply for through college, but they’ll need proof of income. Not your role, you are sibling not parent. If you choose to do anything, it’s between you and your sister.

Not your responsibility. And you say . We simply haven’t got that kind of money to give out!! which is fine. Just say no.

Could you talk to your grandparents about channelling some of their money directly to your sister?

Just say no! Next they will want you to pay for university coats! CF!

This really isn’t your responsibility. If it’s only a grand they can always put it on a credit card and pay it off when they have the funds. This really is the height of CFery.

Costs, not coats!

YANBU it's not your responsibility and there is help for those on a low income, your mum should apply and your sister.
It's bloody cheeky when you have your own family and money is tight.
Do your parents often try to take advantage. If they do, it's time to put your foot down and say no.

Defiantly NBU

You're not unreasonable at all to say no. They should have been saving for this and if your grandparents have quite a lot stashed away tell her to ask them.

Just say no, sorry, not your responsibility.

I'm an American and post secondary education is so expensive here that we've been saving for our two DC's education since they were toddlers.

Child benefit continues until at least 18 if they are in full time education.

No sorry we can't afford it. We're saving for a holiday and if we have any spare we're saving up for our own dcs' college funds .

Tell her you have your own children to look after and can't afford to help. Don't mention your grandparents helping or get involved any further.

No, you are not unreasonable. It’s a shame for your sister (and you) that they’re like this, but don’t do it

It's not that you're making an excuse because you don't want to, it's actually that you don't have the money. Just tell her you don't have that kind of spare cash. End of. Point out you haven't been able to afford a holiday in 5 years.

Stop thinking about it as college money, it's not. It's holiday money. They chose to pay for wants before needs. That doesn't make their lack of planning your emergency.

If they ask, I'd say, "mum, you've had two holidays this year and we haven't in five, you have more disposable income than us". They've been bailed out by the Grandparents and are planning to sponge off you next. Refuse.

I'd tell them you can't afford it, and it you did have that kind of money, you'd want it to go towards funding a holiday for you and your own family, as you haven't had a holiday in 5 years.

Don't think I'd be able to resist pointing out that this is likely to be an on-going cost, as bus passes need paying annually, and then university doesn't come cheap, so maybe they ought to think about cutting back on their own holidays from now on so that they can offer their own DD the financial support themselves.

YY to Dsis getting a Saturday job, though.

Don't think college/ uni counts as full time education, it's further education, so CB would stop. Still not your issue though

No, it's not your responsibility, your Mum could always work full time if needed.

Say no, she is your sister not your child.

God no, it's not your responsibility...it's your Mum and step dad that need to fund this. Your responsibility is to your dh and kids.

Don't get sucked in now, as otherwise as a pp said, they'll be looking for help with university costs. Having just put ds through a BA and an MA, I know just how costly it can be.

I was also going to suggest that maybe grandparents could make allowance direct to your sister. But your sister should look at getting part-time job - maybe point out to her that the sooner she can support herself the better. Tell your mother you can't help - say you're saving for your first holiday in 5 years if you like.

Tell her not to be so bloody cheeky.
Even without the extensive background this is not your problem.