AIBU to ask how long your smear test takes? They don't take 1 or 2 minutes do they?

[mememe2019]

My friend is a gynecologist and claims smears take 2 minutes and I
tell her its not true. To be clear I go for my smears every time I am called but I find the procedure very very very uncomfortable and it takes at least 10 minutes from the point I am up on the bed to putting my shoes back on to leave.
I think I am left with internal bruising in the general area afterwards. I have tried going to Drs, Nurses, Sexual health clinics for the smears in the hope of finding someone who can find my cervix without practically rupturing my insides. I have given birth to two 10lb babies and I have a mirena coil (which I love) so I am able to tolerate pain and willing to have procedures.

The last time I went I told the doctor in the sexual health clinic (she is a highly recommended expert I was referred to by my gynaecologist friend). I told her I have trouble each time so she said it will only take a minute and she would try a long thin speculum. I have heard all this before. She put it in and it hurt, poked around for quite a while and said she couldn't find my cervix and would have to try a larger one. She tried that still couldn't find it. She removed that and I thought she was going to tell me to come back another day (at this stage I just really wanted it over and done with) but instead she said she would try and find my cervix with her fingers which she was able to do quite easily. her exact words were "there it is, it's winking at me". She then reinserted the speculum and twisted it into place - as all the rest before her have done. It felt like a corkscrew then I can feel the brush working around etc and then it was over and I went home and dreaded going for a pee for a few hours afterwards.

I will go back in 3 years but I just wish there was more honesty about the whole thing.

Probably about 2 minutes

I have to say mine have only ever taken a minute or two and they feel mildly uncomfortable but not painful.

One minute for me

Yup, about 30 seconds and I had to ask if they’d actually done anything

from the point of putting in the speculum or once its all in place? The brushing bits takes a few seconds but finding my cervix takes minutes.

Had mine last week and nurse was in there for all of about 30 secs. This was more uncomfortable than some and deffo felt the scraping, but the discussion of when my previous one was took longer!

I had one last wk and it took literally 30 seconds.

About 2 minutes. My cervix is quite low though, always has been. A smear test isn't in my top ten list of fun activities though.

Probably not what you want to hear but I'm literally in and out in under 5 minutes. Every body is different. I can't have the mirena coil my uterus has helpfully expelled 3 in 6 months but smears are a doddle for me.

I’ve had a couple of issues in the past with them being able find my cervix, apparently it’s down in the basement when it should be up in the loft. Or vice-versa. Once I even had a Friends type scenario where more and more people kept coming in to have a go locating it!

I now tell this to the nurse - apparently it’s dipped and it helps them find it and usually gets a laugh.

It’s not worth ignoring a smear for.

You are being a little unreasonable as I’d say it’s correct that the average smear takes just a few minutes. Clearly if several people have struggled to do yours historically you are unusual.

Two minutes to her started to put speculum in until being completely done

I always go and always will but I hate being "ignored" and told every single time it will take seconds and then lo and behold it takes minutes to find my cervix. Like they think I am making it up

Couple of minutes at most. And, apparently, my cervix is "hiding round a corner". Which is nice.

If we include time to take bottoms off and redress at the end then maybe 5 mins

Less than 2 mins. Speculum in, there’s cervix, quick brush on cervix, remove speculum and I’m good to go.

There’s never really any need to find the cervix. Maybe mines low?

The swab itself is usually over and done with after about 30 seconds but the whole appointment shouldn’t be more than 10 minutes unless you have problems related to it. I’m the same as you and find it very painful, always bruised, cramping and bleeding. Some women who aren’t affected by it are just lucky I guess.

Mine definitely take under 2 minutes for the whole thing, speculum in, brush, done.
My cervix must be easy to find.

Are you going at the wrong time of the month?

Less than a minute from speculum, always.

We get allocated a double nurse appointment.
The actual cervical smear but itself has always been very quick. More time needed to get up and off the bed, or take the brief history beforehand than the actual test.

About 2 mins sounds right

tried different times over the years. So not sure. I have a very tilted cervix that "winks" it seems

I think it depends how easy they find it to access the right place internally.

It’s a range really.

So for you, and every other woman with not quite ‘classical’ / easy text book features, it takes longer, and for some other women, it takes less.

It’s not anything to feel bad about as such, and it would be horrible if you felt blamed or your experience minimized in some way.

I wish people would acknowledge that for some women, it takes a bit longer and will be a bit more uncomfortable.

To invalidate people’s experiences makes the experience so much worse somehow

The physical taking of the smear will take a few moments if you can easily find the cervix. The whole appointment may involve sexual health questions, contraceptive advice, weight, blood pressure, a conversation about informed consent etc etc. The consult may take 15 minutes or more. It would depend on your nurse/doctor. It's not ok to say that a smear test "is painless and takes two minutes" as for some people this is not the case.