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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask how long your smear test takes? They don't take 1 or 2 minutes do they?

169 replies

mememe2019 · 29/04/2019 16:11

My friend is a gynecologist and claims smears take 2 minutes and I
tell her its not true. To be clear I go for my smears every time I am called but I find the procedure very very very uncomfortable and it takes at least 10 minutes from the point I am up on the bed to putting my shoes back on to leave.
I think I am left with internal bruising in the general area afterwards. I have tried going to Drs, Nurses, Sexual health clinics for the smears in the hope of finding someone who can find my cervix without practically rupturing my insides. I have given birth to two 10lb babies and I have a mirena coil (which I love) so I am able to tolerate pain and willing to have procedures.

The last time I went I told the doctor in the sexual health clinic (she is a highly recommended expert I was referred to by my gynaecologist friend). I told her I have trouble each time so she said it will only take a minute and she would try a long thin speculum. I have heard all this before. She put it in and it hurt, poked around for quite a while and said she couldn't find my cervix and would have to try a larger one. She tried that still couldn't find it. She removed that and I thought she was going to tell me to come back another day (at this stage I just really wanted it over and done with) but instead she said she would try and find my cervix with her fingers which she was able to do quite easily. her exact words were "there it is, it's winking at me". She then reinserted the speculum and twisted it into place - as all the rest before her have done. It felt like a corkscrew then I can feel the brush working around etc and then it was over and I went home and dreaded going for a pee for a few hours afterwards.

I will go back in 3 years but I just wish there was more honesty about the whole thing.

OP posts:
Motheroffeminists · 29/04/2019 20:53

Without meaning to be rude OP, are you very overweight? If you are this makes it VERY difficult to locate the cervix sometimes. The vagina walls just fold in and won't stay open in very overweight women.
I'm a practice nurse and you should be given a double appointment of 15-20 mins for a smear.
In the appointment you should be asked when your last period was, if you have any irregular bleeding, bleeding after sex, any discharge, what contraception you are on if any, when your last smear was and if the result was normal. If there's no recent BP or weight recorded I'll add that information to the notes and take the opportunity to discuss contraception. All details need to be checked too such as name, date of birth and address.
The smear itself is fairly quick if you have a cervix that is easy to spot. Some are just difficult. During the actual smear the genitals are checked to make sure they look healthy, discharge is observed, the walls of the vagina are checked for anything that looks abnormal and then the cervix hinting begins. Once found, again any abnormalities are notes such as discolouration, polyps, ectropians. If all looks healthy then that's noted too. Then comes the sample taking. The TZ zone where the cells change are where the sample has to be taken from. This needs to be visualised then the brush inserted into the cervical os and swept round in a certain manner.

It's not just something that can be done properly in a 5 minute appointment. The skill lies in getting your patient relaxed and finding the oft-elusive cervix.

I pride myself on excellent patient care when it comes to smears as I've been on the receiving end of speculae rammed up against my clitoris over the years and it's not right. However bruised is not normal and I'm confused as to why you'd be worried about passing urine?

Original poster
mememe2019 · 29/04/2019 20:59

@motheroffeminists. I was waiting for someone to ask about weight. No I am slim size 10.
I don't now why I said about peeing I think it was to try and describe the stinging feeling. My smears have away been unpleasant but only since I had my children it makes me think about the way I dreaded the first wee after giving birth. Basically everything is tender afterwards but mainly I am always expecting to find blood which would upset me a lot but it seems lots of people have blood so I get away lightly

OP posts:
Original poster
mememe2019 · 29/04/2019 21:03

@motheroffeminists whole thing including the chat, record check etc takes about 20 minutes and I expect all that. But it was the actual time on the bed with the speculum that I was interested in.

I've never been called back for an incomplete test, never had any irregularities, periods are like clockwork, no pain or bleeding after sex. No history of any infections. My early labours were very slow but complete but I wonder now if my tilted/sjy/winking cervix was part of the reason for that. It was only the last smear that I was given some sort of explanation for my discomfort. Everyone else has just ignored anything I have ever asked about why

OP posts:
Original poster
mememe2019 · 29/04/2019 21:05

*sjy=shy

OP posts:
MyRankIsSuperintendent · 29/04/2019 21:08

First few times it took 10 minutes or so plus many HCPs. Then I starting telling the nurse I had a tilted cervix and my last one lasted 1/2 minutes. My DC were on my phone watching a programme and were most aggrieved it took so little time Grin

Spicypizza · 29/04/2019 21:11

Had one a couple of weeks ago, was seconds. This was my first smear since having a baby and was quicker than normal.

Motheroffeminists · 29/04/2019 21:12

The winking thing is just a way of saying it's there and looking at you kind of thing. It's just a saying. It doesn't actually wink! The cervix looks different before childbirth, after you've had kids and post menopause. Have a google. It's fascinating.

Tense patients make it very difficult to do a smear so the trick is to breathe deeply and slowly like in labour and let yourself go floppy. I had one patient who due to previous assault needed Valium prescribing. She came in with her iPod and listened to her favourite music to help her relax. I'll never forget her and still have the gift and card she gave me as a thank you for making it as stress free as possible. It was one of the biggest highlights of my career and I was so happy to know she was reassured and more likely to come back in 3 years.

If you can't sit on your fists then a pillow under your bum helps but not many places have such luxuries these days. Fists work but yes, it's uncomfortable.

Bambamber · 29/04/2019 21:15

I have a tilted uterus and always need to lie on my clenched fists and they need a longer speculum. I find as long as you let them know you have a tilted uterus, they find it quicker and as they have an idea what to expect, especially if you're already lying on your fists and using the correct size speculum

Bambamber · 29/04/2019 21:15

Oh and a big breath out as the speculum goes in helps prevent too much clenching of muscles

MoreProseccoNow · 29/04/2019 21:16

@Motheroffeminists - would you agree that it can be more painful for women like myself who have not been in labour & had 2 EMCS (both DC perms).

I'm mid-40's & my last 2 smears have been painful (way beyond uncomfortable). It was always fine in my 20's & 30's.

maddiemookins16mum · 29/04/2019 21:19

Oh if only. It takes the nurse several attempts and many minutes to find my pesky tilted, backward cervix.

Jackiebrambles · 29/04/2019 21:25

@Moreprosecconow sounds like you and I have the same issue, I've had two csections (only one labour) and compared to how smears were for me in my 20/30s its a total different ball game now. So painful.

Motheroffeminists · 29/04/2019 21:26

My go-to speculum of choice is a medium long. By using a longer one the dilating mechanism is kept far away from the vulva and avoids any trapping or squashing both of which are very painful. Some people are just crap at performing smears. I had excellent training. I've not known of any evidence to say they are more painful if you haven't had a vaginal delivery. The vagina is designed to stretch to accommodate a penis so it should easily accommodate a speculum. Some nurses don't use lube so if I were you I'd insist they do. And breathe.

Any problems with sex OP? My pelvic floor used to be in spasm and a speculum would cause a severe burning sensation as my muscles were so tense. Sex was similar but I was relaxed for that so less painful.

Lolly34h · 29/04/2019 21:31

Takes longer for me and they always hurt and make me bleed x

snop · 29/04/2019 21:38

I have a tilted cervix and it still only raked about 2 mins

Whoopstheregomyinsides · 29/04/2019 21:45

It’s a nasty experience but one I hope you will now feel better going for, asserting yourself, knowing you aren’t alone. Mine have been ok but got more and more painful. Always bleed too

Motheroffeminists · 29/04/2019 21:47

The cells needed are scraped off the surface of the cervical os which is what causes the bleeding. It's to be expected due to the nature of the test. I have a fragile cervix with an ectropian and it bleeds easily. This is very common on the combined pill too. It's nothing to worry about.

zod1ac19 · 30/04/2019 00:08

Do the nurses have any tips for very overweight people with a tilted cervix? Other than lose weight obviously, I have three years so that may be possible. But any practical tips? Thanks.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 30/04/2019 00:19

Less than 30 seconds and my friend done mine.

SomeOtherRandomer · 30/04/2019 04:24

Don’t know where you are in the US AmeriAnn, but in my part of the US GPs do smear tests. I’ve never seen a gynaecologist, because round here they are all OB/GYNs but all the emphasis is on the OB part, which means you can turn up for your appointment to find your doctor has gone off to deliver a baby.

UrsulaPandress · 30/04/2019 04:48

I had to go to the colposcopy clinic after the practice nurse failed to find my cervix.

It took 30 minutes, a big chair, 6 different speculums, a nurse, the Cervix Finder General and two cotton buds to complete my smear.

Oh how we laughed.

steff13 · 30/04/2019 05:08

I'm in Ohio, and my gynecologist does my pap smear. My family doctor would do it if I wanted her to, but I like my gynecologist. It only takes him a couple of minutes, if even that long. I'm quite overweight, as well.

UrsulaPandress · 30/04/2019 06:51

I've just come back from South Africa where pap is on the breakfast menu.

Talcott2007 · 30/04/2019 07:14

Mine last one probably took about 8mins from going behind the curtain to getting dressed again - 5 of those mins trying to scoot my very awkward self onto the table without getting a wedgie from the paper cover thingy and then then scooting back down a bit as I had gone to far back and then sitting on my balled up fisted to allow the nurse good access to everything. (Its not exactly a comfy position but it's not like you have to hold it for hours!) Once I was in the prime position the actual time with the speculum was in honestly no more that 30seconds - more like 10! Again it took me the other 3 mins to find my knickers and get them on the right way!!

SaveKevin · 30/04/2019 07:22

Mines excruciatingly painful. I’m overdue now and I simply cannot face it. My last one was about half hour. I was asking her to just stop by the end of it. The brush seems to have made it worse, but the whole process is painful.

I also had an emergency c section....