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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate DH’s new look

175 replies

crumble82 · 07/04/2019 21:52

Went out with DH a couple of days ago with the DC, looking back at photos he has suddenly decided he’s going bald. He is thinning but nothing dramatic. Anyway last night he shaved his head, I told him I thought it was a bit of an over reaction and I preferred it before but didn’t make a big deal about it. This morning he wet shaved his head. He looks like a criminal skin head, it’s horrible. I can’t even look at him it just looks appalling. I told him I didn’t like it (no argument, just said I didn’t like it),but apparently I’m a twat!

AIBU to tell him I don’t like what he’s done to himself or does it make me controlling? Do I just leave it bearing in mind I’m actually embarrassed to be seen with him at the moment?!

OP posts:
RusholmeRuffian · 07/04/2019 21:55

You're embarrassed to be seen with him because he's bald? What if he was actually bald, not through choice? Would you be embarrassed then? If not then you can see how ridiculous you're being. If you would then you have bigger problems!

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/04/2019 21:55

You're embarrassed because he has gone bald? Yabu

Sparklesocks · 07/04/2019 21:55

I think you’re being a bit harsh, it can be really difficult for men to discover they’re losing their hair and this seems to be his way of taking control.,

Sparklesocks · 07/04/2019 21:56

Sorry posted too soon, but yes you should be supportive as most likely he’s mourning his hair after taking rash action and you don’t sound v nice about it!

Original poster
crumble82 · 07/04/2019 21:57

If he had gone bald of course I wouldn’t be embarrassed. He hasn’t gone bald though, he’s given himself a really extreme haircut and now looks like a criminal.

OP posts:
HeavyLocks · 07/04/2019 21:57

I think you're being dramatic

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 07/04/2019 21:57

I don't think it makes you controlling, you haven't demanded he grow it back or threatened divorce etc. You are entitled to a preference. I hate DH with more than a couple days beard growth (feels like I'm kissing my dad) and he accepts that if he wants a snog he needs to shave. I accept that he likes when I shave my legs but doesn't bother if I don't.

Maybe your DH has just had a shock that he isn't as young and virile or whatever as he thinks he is and if he shaves it then it's a choice rather than old age.

I'd give it a few days for him to realise that calling you a twat is unacceptable. See if he'd be more amenable to leaving it a bit stubbly once he's gotten over his shock.

HeavyLocks · 07/04/2019 21:58

Charlie Manson had loads of hair

GoGoGadgetGin · 07/04/2019 21:58

So anyone with a shaved head looks like a criminal (what does a 'criminal' look like?!)??

miaCara · 07/04/2019 21:58

I bet it isnt because hes bald but because hes got the stark white head that looks like hes recently escaped from Alcatraz .
It will settle down to a better colour once hes been out in the open for a while and either you will get used to it or he will get sick of shaving all of the time. Hair grows surprisingly fast on a shaven head.

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 07/04/2019 21:58

ah the Grant Mitchell look!

Make sure he uses a good deal of sun block when out!

Laiste · 07/04/2019 21:59

Other people won't look a him and think 'bad hair cut' though. He'll just look naturally bald.

So posters are wondering: are you saying you'd be embarrassed if he was naturally bald?

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 07/04/2019 22:00

She’s being dramatic but it is surely a reaction to a fairly dramatic change?! Her husband wasn’t balding and has gone from hair one day to shiny pate the next!

My DH is bald as by the time he turned 30 he was sporting a cracking bald spot, but I had plenty of time to get used to it.

Don’t worry, it’ll grow back fairly quickly, and just like your DH is allowed to tell you he likes your hair a certain way that is physically possible so are you allowed to have a preference.

LittleChristmasMouse · 07/04/2019 22:00

I guess so long as you are happy for him to dictate how you look just carry on.

sockatoe · 07/04/2019 22:01

I think the bic look can be pretty sexy - it's a good choice for the going bald man as they are bald by choice and no one watches them losing their hair /aging. Give it a couple of weeks. It's his hair anyway.

MajesticWhine · 07/04/2019 22:02

You might get used to it OP. It is probably a big shock at first. You've made your point, probably best not to go on about it.

Laiste · 07/04/2019 22:02

miaCara good point actually, but we don't know he's white.

Is he OP?

Justmuddlingalong · 07/04/2019 22:02

Imagine if he told you what hairstyle you should or shouldn't have. Would you not find that controlling, shallow and overstepping the mark? Try being a bit more supportive, he's obviously feeling a bit self conscious about his thinning hair .

Badwifey · 07/04/2019 22:02

Oh op... I'm sorry but I'm in stitches here!

I'd be mortified too if my DH did a wet shave of his head! Hopefully he'll realise soon enough it looks awful and let it grow back a bit.

I hate on mumsnet that no one is allowed comment on their oh's appearance. It's not controlling to tell your oh that you don't like something.

Original poster
crumble82 · 07/04/2019 22:03

Thank you to those who get where I’m coming from! To clarify I’m not saying that all bald men look like criminals. And yes he has a stark white egg head where before he actually had a decent enough head of hair. I think I’m more annoyed that he knew I wasn’t keen on the shaved head originally and then went and wet shaved it to make it even more extreme. I’m also aware I’m not coming across very well here but he looks terrible.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 07/04/2019 22:04

Is he happy with how it looks?

steff13 · 07/04/2019 22:04

So, Patrick Stewart, Taye Diggs, The Rock all look like criminals? Personally, I'd rather see a man shave his head than pretend he's not balding, but I'll admit your husband's reaction was a little extreme. If he doesn't like it, it will grow back.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/04/2019 22:06

Well he could grow it back and go for a comb over.

mumwon · 07/04/2019 22:08

:) 2 opposite things men do to hides age (& they don't work :) ) they either shave head or grown beard - is it any worse than colouring hair (& yes I used to :))? turn a blind eye - if its hard work he will give up unless you nag him!

IWouldPreferNotTo · 07/04/2019 22:08

There's not much he can do about losing his hair. Better to shave it off than get a comb over