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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate DH’s new look

175 replies

crumble82 · 07/04/2019 21:52

Went out with DH a couple of days ago with the DC, looking back at photos he has suddenly decided he’s going bald. He is thinning but nothing dramatic. Anyway last night he shaved his head, I told him I thought it was a bit of an over reaction and I preferred it before but didn’t make a big deal about it. This morning he wet shaved his head. He looks like a criminal skin head, it’s horrible. I can’t even look at him it just looks appalling. I told him I didn’t like it (no argument, just said I didn’t like it),but apparently I’m a twat!

AIBU to tell him I don’t like what he’s done to himself or does it make me controlling? Do I just leave it bearing in mind I’m actually embarrassed to be seen with him at the moment?!

OP posts:
littledoll33 · 07/04/2019 23:05

My DH keeps saying 'I wonder what I'd look like if I shaved my head? Like raw blade, (shorter than a number one.) And I say 'do it, try it.' But he never does. Wink

It really wouldn't suit him. I mean, it would look awful. If he is bald through age in a few years (15-20 years probably,) then so be it. It will have gone gradually and naturally. But to suddenly have it all gone would be a bit Shock Bit like me going from looking 45 to looking 65 overnight. It's fine when it's gradual, and goes with age over the years, but not overnight!

Cheeserton · 07/04/2019 23:12

YABU. You're overreacting. No problem with not preferring or liking it, but your language seems too strong and you need to respect the fact that it's his hair and his choice.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 07/04/2019 23:26

I think you will get used to it, and it will grow very fast anyway. My DP is balding, but his hair is very, very dark. His hair grows super-quickly, so in between cuts it looked awful. We bought clippers and I do it every fortnight now - it looks so much better. I do number 2 round the back and sides, number 1 over the top where it’s fluffy and patchy. He sits naked in the kitchen then goes straight in the shower while I sweep up - a much better service than at the barber he used to go to!

whyamievenamazeddotcom · 07/04/2019 23:29

Maybe he’s just feeling upset with how it looked so trying to make it better lots of men do it it’s a bit of a hair loss crisis thing but the other posters are right as soon as head has been exposed to the weather it should start looking more natural and less like a boiled egg think Dwayne Johnson, grant kemp is it, Bruce Willis ... not too shabby really I mean even telly savalos was ok in his hey day that said I suspect a shock to you too and will take some getting used to x

LilQueenie · 07/04/2019 23:30

yanbu though it is his choice. Some people do have a look about them really short hair. dp used to do this. drove me mad.

whyamievenamazeddotcom · 07/04/2019 23:31

Ps I actually think the bald heads look sexy much better than patchy comb over xxx

saraclara · 07/04/2019 23:50

I think a lot of people HERE are over-reacting! She hasn't said the things to him that you seem to think she has. She's just sharing her thoughts here, rather than with him. So calm down, ffs!

And yep, the shaved look suits some men, while others do look like a caricature of a criminal. Wet shaving definitely seems over the top. I think it's fine for her to encourage him to go for the more stubbly lok rather than the baby's bottom look.

Wannabeyorkshirelass · 08/04/2019 00:21

I'm with you, OP. I bet he looks horrible. You're allowed to react and to wish to goodness he hadn't done such a silly thing.

How would he feel if you shaved your head, hmmm? I'm guessing he wouldn't have nothing at all to say about that.

CharityConundrum · 08/04/2019 00:34

Why are so many posters acting as though the op had said that all men with shaved heads look like criminals?

U2HasTheEdge · 08/04/2019 00:37

The thing is you can't help what you find attractive. I love my husband to bits but him suddenly shaving all his hair off would make me find him less attractive. I can't help that and neither can the OP.

I know one man with a bald head who looks great with it though. He has a great shaped head and it suits him. I haven't seen many men it suits.

breadzeb · 08/04/2019 00:38

Why are so many posters acting as though the op had said that all men with shaved heads look like criminals?

It's the implication isn't it?

'He shaved his head and looks like a criminal' is suggestive that criminals do indeed have shaved heads.

Supercuts · 08/04/2019 00:42

Caffeine shampoo. Lots of similar products. They work miracles for some.

BummyKnocker · 08/04/2019 00:50

YANBU. he's shaved his head and it takes a lot of getting used to.

Agree with PP he'd have some opinions f you shaved your head.

Is it nice to stroke though?

CharityConundrum · 08/04/2019 01:01

It's the implication isn't it?

'He shaved his head and looks like a criminal' is suggestive that criminals do indeed have shaved heads.

No. It's suggestive that her husband looks like a criminal with a shaved head. I look very mannish with short hair, but saying that doesn't imply that all women with short hair look mannish, nor, indeed, that all men have short hair. It's a bit harsh to give the op a hard time over an inference that was never even hinted at in what she actually said.

Namechangingfiend · 08/04/2019 01:06

When my DH shaves his beard off I can't stand to look at him, he looks young in a baby way and it doesn't look like him. When you're so used to seeing them look a certain way it is very odd and can be off-putting lol.

breadzeb · 08/04/2019 01:07

It's a bit harsh to give the op a hard time over an inference that was never even hinted at in what she actually said.

Oh, I didn't 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hillfarmer · 08/04/2019 01:52

It is entirely reasonable for your DH to shave his head.

It is entirely reasonable for you to find that you don’t fancy him enough to have sex with him.

Let’s see who blinks first.

SkintAsASkintThing · 08/04/2019 01:58

You're being ridiculous.

It's awful for men when they lose their hair and can be very distressing. A shaved head looks much better than Tufts everywhere. It will look better when stubble starts to show but other than that it's his hair loss. Leave him to cope with it.

unicorncow · 08/04/2019 02:27

Treat him to a nice new hat perhaps?

Heartraker · 08/04/2019 03:33

Oh god.

I love a bald guy.

Op - Ltb and I’ll have him.

FifisLovelyApron · 08/04/2019 03:54

Don't ever say this around anyone who has/has had cancer will you!!

My chemo style was quite chic, thank you. No one thought I looked appalling. And I didn't make that connection till you brought it up...

EnidButton · 08/04/2019 04:05

Far2 They pick up signals from the cosmos.

OP I think disliking is it fine, you can't help that. So long as you don't keep saying that as he can hardly stick it back on. Grin Much worse is keeping it until an island of hair forms on top. I think it might just be the very close shave that could be too much?

He didn't post a pic on Instagram did he? Because someone I follow posted a pic of his newly shaved head yesterday. It was very smooth.

BlackSatinDancer · 08/04/2019 04:14

I don't find the totally shaved look attractive at all and I think there aren't too many men who have a nice enough shaped head to pull that look off. IMO men with nice shaped heads can look great but most do look like the stereotypical thug.

Ellenborough · 08/04/2019 04:35

My brother does this but he was properly bald on top before he started shaving the whole lot off. It suits him and everyone is used to it. Plus he’s not remotely thuggish or macho, does a suit and tie job and is well spoken so it doesn’t lend him an air of menace.

On the other hand my nephew in his mid 20s has also just done the same thing (not snooker ball smooth, just very close skinhead cut) and it looks dreadful. He’s only receding at the sides at the moment, thinning a little on top but nothing major so it was a premature over-reaction on his part which makes him look worse, not better.

Plus it just highlights how much he’s receding far more than when he had hair everywhere else. And it has definitely made him look a bit thuggish.

floribunda18 · 08/04/2019 04:53

Of course his look is up to him but you are entitled to express your opinion that you don't like it.

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