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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I hate DH’s new look

175 replies

crumble82 · 07/04/2019 21:52

Went out with DH a couple of days ago with the DC, looking back at photos he has suddenly decided he’s going bald. He is thinning but nothing dramatic. Anyway last night he shaved his head, I told him I thought it was a bit of an over reaction and I preferred it before but didn’t make a big deal about it. This morning he wet shaved his head. He looks like a criminal skin head, it’s horrible. I can’t even look at him it just looks appalling. I told him I didn’t like it (no argument, just said I didn’t like it),but apparently I’m a twat!

AIBU to tell him I don’t like what he’s done to himself or does it make me controlling? Do I just leave it bearing in mind I’m actually embarrassed to be seen with him at the moment?!

OP posts:

Original poster

crumble82 · 07/04/2019 22:09

I just hope he lets it grow back and to those that asked, no I wouldn’t be happy with him dictating my look to me and I get that I am perhaps being a bit controlling here. I do respect (and ask for) his opinion on whether things suit me though. I honestly can’t look at him properly. His big shiny egg head keeps catching me by surprise!!

OP posts:

ThreadKillerSleepsInACoil · 07/04/2019 22:09

I'm being really selfish here, but I SO hope you're my bosses wife... back at work tomorrow and going to need a laugh

I do know what you mean OP, my DH has a beard that ranges from trimmed (sexy, suits him) to Robinson Crusoe when he got off the island (OK, slight exaggeration, but it is rather...off-putting) He's quite happy with his thinning hair though...

Eustasiavye · 07/04/2019 22:09

I'm with you op.
I much prefer hair.
Just make sure you pay absolutely no attention to what ever preferences your dh has.

VladmirsPoutine · 07/04/2019 22:10

Buy him a wig.

pictish · 07/04/2019 22:11

The wet shave is a bit extreme. My dh is bald with a shaved head but he doesn’t wet shave it. He doesn’t want to look like a golf ball. It’s his head of course but yanbu not to like it. I wouldn’t.

Singlenotsingle · 07/04/2019 22:11

My ads shaves his head too, even though he's not going bald. It makes him look like a punk.

Wearywithteens · 07/04/2019 22:11

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

mumwon · 07/04/2019 22:12

ps (showing age - Yul Brynner - he had a lovely voice, gorgeous eyes & not a bad body:) ) perhaps a judicious use of tanning stain on head & do remind him to be carefully in the summer - heads & ears can get bad sun burn - you might have to buy him a trump cap!

Fiveredbricks · 07/04/2019 22:14

I'll tell my bald skinhead husband that he looks like a criminal then shall I? 😂

Get over your fucking self, love.

JaneEyre07 · 07/04/2019 22:14

I don't know OP, my DH has taken to a comb over to hide his bald patch at the back of his head.

I've told him time and time again that it looks worse with these long wispy strands of hair that he uses half a can of hairspray on every morning, but he's not having a bar of it.

He always had it cut about an inch long all over and it really suited him. I know I sound awful for saying this (and I never would) but there are times I want to cut it off when he's asleep.............

All I do know is that men are very very sensitive about hair loss.

TatianaLarina · 07/04/2019 22:15

Shaved is very different from bald. I don’t think I would be seen out with a man with a shaved head.

Rockbird · 07/04/2019 22:16

DH started going bald quite young and for the last 10 years I've been shaving his head completely every few weeks. He looks absolutely fine, nothing like a criminal.

Original poster

crumble82 · 07/04/2019 22:16

I haven’t actually said much to him about it (saving my complaining for mumsnet) but he’s seeing a couple of friends tomorrow and I just have to hope they laugh enough to convince him to at least let it get stubbly. I’m feeling a bit better after your responses, thank you

OP posts:

XiCi · 07/04/2019 22:16

Thinning hair looks far worse than a shaved head. He's probably had a load of stick from his mates about his receding hair line and has bitten the bullet. Good on him. Nothing more embarrassing than clinging on to an ever disappearing hairline. Your reaction sounds really really extreme and I'd be careful you don't say something you can't take back. He can't help it if he's losing his hair. I'm sure he'd prefer a full head of locks too!

itssoooofluffy · 07/04/2019 22:16

YANBU to tell your DH you liked his hair before, YABU to react like this!
If you changed your look due to an insecurity and your DH said he was embarrassed to be seen with you, how would you feel? He might not be happy with his new look either, but we all get it wrong sometimes, we don’t need our friends and family making us feel even worse!

ThunderStorms · 07/04/2019 22:16

I understand where you’re coming from OP

RandomName9 · 07/04/2019 22:17

I think some men can pull off the shaved head look without looking like a thug.. My husband would look like a raisin if he shaved his, thank god his hair looks like it will stick around. But I am with you and would def let him know I didn't like it, as he has done with previous haircuts of mine!!

Thisnamechanger · 07/04/2019 22:18

I think I’m more annoyed that he knew I wasn’t keen on the shaved head originally and then went and wet shaved it

Maybe that's why he did it. My ex used to make snarky comments about "short hair on girls" and I'd always wanted a pixie cut; have worn it this way for years now!

You'll get used to it. Totally bald head looks a bit startling at first, I remember when it happened to DM, but you eventually stop seeing it.

GoodGravy · 07/04/2019 22:19

I think a deliberately shaved head is a very hard look to carry off well, it's really not terribly flattering for a lot of men.
and can look a bit brutal
So I sympathise, OP.

Llioed · 07/04/2019 22:21

OP, I can understand where you are coming from because my DH had hair back when we first met and gradually over the years it’s been thinning, mostly on top. He eventually decided last year that enough was enough so he bic’d his head. He did tell me prior what he was planning, and I was honest and said I was unsure of how he’d look (his thinning hair/balding head didn’t bother me one bit)

Anyway, he bic’d it and I didn’t like it (was honest with him) however after the first month of him shaving his head it became the norm. He has now been wet shaving his head twice a week for almost a year and it doesn’t bother me now, at all. It’s as though he has always done it.

Do you think it’s something you can get used to, OP?

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 07/04/2019 22:23

I don’t like my DH when he first shaved his head. When he grows back a little it looks great. He has a bit of facial hair though.
Much better look than thinning grey hair in my opinion.

Bringbackthestripes · 07/04/2019 22:23

DH shaved his head recently. When he came into the bedroom me and DC just wet ourselves laughing. He looked like uncle Fester!
He has been thinning for years and just had a moment. I hated it and couldn’t stand to look at him and yes, he did look like a thug.
Thankfully it has grown quite quickly. No I’m not controlling, yes he got laughed at by friends and even he admitted he looked worse bald than with his thinning hair.

Original poster

crumble82 · 07/04/2019 22:23

To the posters who think I’ve been harsh with him, I really haven’t. Honestly all I said with the first cut was that I thought it was a bit of an over reaction and I preferred his hair before. With the wet shave I just said (once) ‘oh no, I don’t like it’ and made a joke later on in the day when we were outside that he had to keep his hat on. I know he’s feeling sensitive about his hair and I wouldn’t be horrible about it. The new look is so extreme and unflattering though. It does suit some men but sadly not DH.

OP posts:

Far2go46 · 07/04/2019 22:24

Hair are your aerials

Mumble29 · 07/04/2019 22:24

what fiveredbricks said...

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