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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to expect more for mothers day

140 replies

Tiredmummy8 · 31/03/2019 19:33

I have two daughters aged 1 and 5 and I feel like my husband could put a but more effort in when it comes to mothers day. He got me a card (one i chose) the day before MD while we were shopping and it was signed from both girls and gave me a little wodden plaque with a small verse about mothers he ordered from Amazon a few a couple days ago while in bed. AIBU to want a bit more effort I feel really disappointed and guilty for feeling like it. MD is so easy wine, flowers, candles, chocolates, just about anything from card factory or any supermarket with the word mummy on!

OP posts:
LoisLittsLover · 31/03/2019 19:35

He got you a card and a present if i'm reading correctly. Why woykd it be okay from asda but not amazon. Feel like you would moan whatever tbh

Notastepparentbut · 31/03/2019 19:36

But you got a card and a present?

Alb1 · 31/03/2019 19:37

Buying generic Mother’s Day rubbish from a supermarket requires the same amount of effort as getting it from amazon, and he got you the card you wanted... you wanted random Mother’s Day stuff and you got it, I don’t see the problem to be honest

Crunchymum · 31/03/2019 19:37

Pack it in OP.

Redglitter · 31/03/2019 19:39

I cant see what the problem is. You got a card & a present. Why does it matter that it came from Amazon

NarcissistMum · 31/03/2019 19:40

You are not hard done by. Thousands of women would love to have a reason to have a Mother’s Day plaque. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and count your blessings.

user1483387154 · 31/03/2019 19:40

Card and present given. You are bein ridiculous

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 31/03/2019 19:40

Choosing your own card is rubbish, but why did you do that?

PinkiOcelot · 31/03/2019 19:41

You know what happens to those who expect?! They’re disappointed!!

NCforthis2019 · 31/03/2019 19:41

Wtf?! You got gifts. Ungrateful and being YABVU.

wowsertrousers · 31/03/2019 19:42

So PPs would really be happy with a card you had to pick out yourself and a wooden plaque? The Op's DH could've helped the 5 year old make something for her, draw a picture, anything. Or could've got something that took more than 1 minute of online ordering. I get it OP. It's nice to feel appreciated for all you do for your young kids, and your DH hasn't made you feel this way on mother's day.

GrumpyOldMare · 31/03/2019 19:42

You got a gift and a present. Neither of my kids bothered,not even a ''happy mother's day'' message or text.

shrugs Least I know.

Sirzy · 31/03/2019 19:42

Yet another thread with a poster who wouldn’t behapoy whatever she was given

Notastepparentbut · 31/03/2019 19:43

I got a bunch of flowers delivered and two cards - one from each of my kids. They are 18 and 20.

But when they were small I got nothing. Because my ex didn’t “do” cards or presents. For me. Ever. I never got anything. Never. He never ever ever bought me anything. Not a card. Not a birthday. Not at Christmas.

Honest to god, you’ve little to complain about.

CherryPavlova · 31/03/2019 19:44

My husband never bought me Mother’s Day cards or presents. I’m not his mother, so why would he? He’d happily give the children money to do something, if they asked but has never felt it to be his responsibility. I treasure some of my carefully crafted cards and gifts far more than I’d have appreciated a bottle of wine which I could have bought myself.

Alb1 · 31/03/2019 19:44

wow but she specifies she would have been happy with any of the random stuff on mother’s day supermarket shelf, takes 1 minute of walking down the isle... so she’s not saying she was upset because she didn’t get hand made stuff

Pa1oma · 31/03/2019 19:44

No YANBU. It’s so easy to get flowers at least.

I don’t understand all the negativity on here, as if it’s completely beyond the realms of expectation for any man to think or make an effort in such occasions. Blimey!

GrumpyMummy123 · 31/03/2019 19:45

Yabu

If you expect more you have to tell your DH. He made an effort, if you just say thank you and leave it at that then he'll assume its fine. Why wouldn't he.

After a very disappointing birthday early in our relationship I have since clearly outlined to my DH what I expect, lol! So for Mothers day I drop a million not so subtle hints about does he need time to go to the shops, or florist... I booked lunch. And told him where I wanted to go for the afternoon!

For my next (big) birthday I've told him I want a surprise, but given a brief outline of the type of do and rough guest list.

No it's not exciting, but I know I think my expectations are higher than he'd assume - so I tell him and we're all happy!

idontlike789 · 31/03/2019 19:47

It's a bit rubbish that you chose you own card . You know what to do when it's Father's Day the same .
It used to annoyed a bit I'd get dh present and cards and I'd get nothing . I'd get a card off dd she's old enough to buy cards and presents. I'd think at least get me some chocolates, but at least I got a nice card .
I've ordered myself something online today so that to look forward to.

Sirzy · 31/03/2019 19:48

But he did make an effort, he ordered a personalised present rather than just grabbing some flowers from the supermarket!

Bluntness100 · 31/03/2019 19:50

Struggling to believe this is real.

Grabby much? You got a card and a gift and time with two children.

But you want more? Presents right? Stuff right?

Hopefully this is a piss take.

Perty01234 · 31/03/2019 20:06

What are your expectations OP?
Does your DH know you expected more?

Original poster
Tiredmummy8 · 31/03/2019 20:12

I don't want loads of stuff I just feel like there was no effort made. For father's day and birthdays In the past I have got my girls tops that say daddy's princess or I love daddy and I have got books like Peppa pig's my daddy or daddy bear ect for them to give him as well as his favourite drink, chocolate, sweets, personalised frames or photo albums and engraved bracelets and key rings (not all the same year of course) and made breakfast in bed and gone out for a meal. I am happy I got something I just feel like it was a last minute thing with no actual thought or effort involved

OP posts:
Girlicorne · 31/03/2019 20:13

This sounds fine to me except maybe the choosing your own card. At our school they do a mother's day shop. They do it for father's day too. It's £5 and the dc pick a present and they are fab for the money. It means my life is easier for Father's day and dh life easier on mother's day. All PTAs should do this seriously, it would stop all of the disappointed threads on here!!

Akrotiri1 · 31/03/2019 20:13

I got nothing - as per usual...

It is my birthday next week and so far no mention has been made of that either, so imagine that will be bypassed too.

Feeling sorry for myself? Hell yes!!!! But I didn't expect any different and am going to treat myself to a nice long walk with the dogs, and a bird table on Thursday for my birthday.