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AIBU?

Aibu to expect more for mothers day

140 replies

Tiredmummy8 · 31/03/2019 19:33

I have two daughters aged 1 and 5 and I feel like my husband could put a but more effort in when it comes to mothers day. He got me a card (one i chose) the day before MD while we were shopping and it was signed from both girls and gave me a little wodden plaque with a small verse about mothers he ordered from Amazon a few a couple days ago while in bed. AIBU to want a bit more effort I feel really disappointed and guilty for feeling like it. MD is so easy wine, flowers, candles, chocolates, just about anything from card factory or any supermarket with the word mummy on!

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Jackshouse · 31/03/2019 20:14

If your not happy then you need to make your expectations clear to him otherwise you are setting him up to fail and for yourself to be miserable.

Topseyt · 31/03/2019 20:15

I just don't get all of this angst over Mothers' Day.

I have had cards from my three DDs, the youngest of whom is 16, and will probably share a bottle of wine with DH soon.

I was visiting my elderly parents this weekend on a solo visit. I gave my mother a card and she was pleased.

Nobody expecting or wanting expensive tat, nobody disappointed.

Tiredmummy8 · 31/03/2019 20:17

I chose my own card because we was in a shop and he said what card do you want so I pointed at one and said it was nice

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 31/03/2019 20:17

Oh not another princessy whinge...

Do tell your husband how unsatisfactory his input has been if it wasn't up to your expectations.

lunakitty2609 · 31/03/2019 20:18

I got a homemade card and nothing else.
I struggled today feeling like I'm unappreciated but it's nothing new so I'll get over it xD

adaline · 31/03/2019 20:18

In the past I have got my girls tops that say daddy's princess or I love daddy and I have got books like Peppa pig's my daddy or daddy bear ect for them to give him

Errr, in the nicest way - why?!

RainbowMum11 · 31/03/2019 20:19

I got a hand made card that DD did at school and 1 from Rainbows - a lovely family meal, that's all I could have wanted.

JustHereForThePooStories · 31/03/2019 20:23

You’re being utterly ridiculous.

Ellieboolou27 · 31/03/2019 20:23

Op sorry to be so blunt and possibly a bit rude but you wanted some shit plastic tatt with mummy on it???? Something from card factory? Yet another bit of shit that’s mass produced that will end up in landfill so you can feel special for “mother’s day”
You got a gift, you could have said choose me a card you’ll think I’d like or get kids to make one.
Sorry but YAB totally Unreasonable and a bit daft

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 31/03/2019 20:24

Why do you buy your DD stuff they won't wear again? That seems quite wasteful.

I'm not a fan of these plaques and would rather have something homemade but you say you'd have been happy with something from a supermarket anyway.

I would have refused to choose the card though.

Nothininmenoggin · 31/03/2019 20:24

Tiredmummy8If it makes you feel any better I got bugger all from my 19 yr old son. Have been through hell with him for the past 3 years police drugs etc. He has definitely turned a corner 're all that stuff and we have been getting on so much better. I have supported him on so many occasions when he has been in trouble. He has a part time job in a bar 1 night a week so has wages not a lot but be does have money. Anyway in the grand scheme of things its just another day but it does hurt a bit given all we have been through. I wasn't even wanting a present but a card would have been nice just to know he went and put some thought into it. Enjoy your children when they are going as it gets much harder in my experience when they get to teenage years.

Nothininmenoggin · 31/03/2019 20:28

Akrotiri1Think you and I should get together lol. Happy Birthday for next week have this in case you do get nothing

Alabasterangel6 · 31/03/2019 20:31

I don’t think anyone here (age 8 and 6) even remembered till I pointedly said to DH that I needed to get a shift on as we had guests arriving for lunch. I got a wee bunch of tulips which DH got when I sent him out at 10am for fresh bread and cards made at school. And they are lovely.

And then I cooked lunch for 10, and that was lovely too. For the first time ever I got my Mum, DD, Grandma and me together for mother’s day (and may not manage it again as grandma is very frail) and it literally was the best gift I ever could have had and give. I spent most of the day cooking and then clearing and I couldn’t get the smile off my face....it couldn’t have been better. When they left my DS said ‘it’s lovely having our family all together’.... and we’ve just sat and watched a rubbish film and read a book and had a massive cuddle. My pleasure today genuinely came from being with my Mum and Grandma and DC.

The world is full of enough trashy plastic tat that means nothing. I’ll treasure today as I appreciate its value. DH would have loved to have spent today with his Mum but he lost her a long time ago

mondaysaturday · 31/03/2019 20:33

You are not being unreasonable. Sometimes a gift given as an afterthought can actually be much more hurtful than nothing at all. It's almost like saying yes, I know it's a special occasion but actually I've decided you're only worth the barest minimum of effort.

I don't think it's unreasonable to be hurt by that and I think these threads turn into an excuse for people to act sanctimonious. It's clearly not the lack of expense that's the issue here, it's the lack of effort.

llangennith · 31/03/2019 20:34

I think you did ok OP. Sounds like you go a bit over the top on Father's Day with the T-shirt's and breakfast in bed etc. Your DH obviously doesn't place such high importance on these days.
Next such occasion tell him exactly what you expect.

CF43 · 31/03/2019 20:34

I got a card which my son made at school it was lovely and totally him, he made me a handmade present which was also lovely of him, we had a great day just me and him walking and picking up leaves and looking at nature and then we went to pizza express.

My ex or soon to be did get a card and my son signed it but i liked the one my son made himself, meant more to me. I didn't get flowers or chocolates, just a whole relaxing day to do whatever we wanted, priceless.

JustHereForThePooStories · 31/03/2019 20:35

Sometimes a gift given as an afterthought can actually be much more hurtful than nothing at all

But it wasn’t an afterthought. He purchased her gift several days ago, and gave it to her today.

MrHaroldFry · 31/03/2019 20:40

Mother’s Day was created to be a simple way to thank and honour Mothers.
Honestly, when I think of it, (which is the moment I see the cards fill the shops) I imagine Sunday lunch restaurants , creaking at the seams, serving overpriced Prosecco and a whole heap of expectations.
Your husband has obviously misjudged the magnitude of Mothers Day to you and so has under-delivered.
Use your words, tell him what you expected and remind him next year in advance of Mother’s Day if it is that important to you. Otherwise, make your peace with the fact that this won’t be something he gets right for you. In return, you can dial back on Father’s Day and his Birthday stuff.
No one was harmed in the making of this mistake :-)

CF43 · 31/03/2019 20:41

Don't know what to say really be thankful for the thought at least you got something.

Greenlegobox · 31/03/2019 20:43

Your poor husband. He has 3 children to look after.

loulou0987 · 31/03/2019 20:44

Is this real??

Tiredmummy8 · 31/03/2019 20:46

For people saying to let him know what you expect. Last MD my youngest was only a few weeks old I got one card from my oldest and he forgot to put the baby's name in. After that I did say next year it would be nice to have a card from both girls and i would like something like a mummy frame or a mummy cup or at least something with mummy on (as my girls are only small and don't call me mother) and he loves the things i do for the girls on fathers day and he wouk6d be disappointed if I didn't bother

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70isaLimitNotaTarget · 31/03/2019 20:48

It has got horribly OTT ( like Valentines Day)
When I was young (I'm 52 now) we were given a card (like a postcard not a greetings card) and a small bar of chocolate each to give to our Mums when we went to the Salvation Army meetings (we went every Sunday with Ddad .

Of course DSis and I ate one of the bars on the way home and gave her the other bar . ( for shame)

Sirzy · 31/03/2019 20:48

You sound like a shop owners dream wanting all the commercialised bits buying!

HarrySnotter · 31/03/2019 20:49

Oh not another princessy whinge... 'Fraid so.

OP. Don't be ridiculous. Perhaps you've spent too much time on social media today looking at all the 'perfect' posts of breakfasts in bed and #feelingblessed/#famalam/#livingmybestlife utter shite.

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