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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to expect more for mothers day

140 replies

Tiredmummy8 · 31/03/2019 19:33

I have two daughters aged 1 and 5 and I feel like my husband could put a but more effort in when it comes to mothers day. He got me a card (one i chose) the day before MD while we were shopping and it was signed from both girls and gave me a little wodden plaque with a small verse about mothers he ordered from Amazon a few a couple days ago while in bed. AIBU to want a bit more effort I feel really disappointed and guilty for feeling like it. MD is so easy wine, flowers, candles, chocolates, just about anything from card factory or any supermarket with the word mummy on!

OP posts:

catofaragon · 31/03/2019 21:13

This has to be a wind up. No adult could possibly think like this. Isn't being a mum and being loved a wonderful gift for Mother's Day?

There are women the world over missing their mums who are no longer with them, or wishing desperately they could have the child they never will have.

You got a card and a gift. Seriously, you need to count your blessings.

SoyDora · 31/03/2019 21:14

Why does picking something up in a supermarket mean he has made an effort but ordering something on amazon doesn’t?

Aswad · 31/03/2019 21:14

I think you're disappointed he ordered them the night before just before going to bed so not much though?

SEsofty · 31/03/2019 21:15

Actually people aren’t being rude but are rather perplexed. Her husband got her exactly what she asked for and she is so disappointed that she feels the need to post about it on the internet. It is incomprehension about exactly what she did want

Biancadelrioisback · 31/03/2019 21:17

OP I dont think YABU. It's not about the presents or card, he hasn't made you feel special or appreciated. Sometimes some cheap flowers but a proper lie in/long bath/meal out/no housework is worth so much more than gifts

LordVoldetort · 31/03/2019 21:19

i have got my girls tops that say daddy's princess or I love daddy and I have got books like Peppa pig's my daddy or daddy bear ect for them to give him

These are gifts for your daughter not your husband.

I can’t really see the issue with your gift? If you are upset because he gets more for Father’s Day then your solution is to not get so much for him

Supergrassyknoll · 31/03/2019 21:19

YABU, I got a piece of card with a faint scribble on it in a brown envelope 'from my 3 yr old'. That was it

happymum12345 · 31/03/2019 21:20

You are blessed to have two little girls. Life is so precious, try to enjoy every moment. Happy Mother’s Day!

LordPickle · 31/03/2019 21:21

All I got was a card. I told him I wanted breakfast in bed but he forgot so I ate 2 packs of space raiders instead.

singingismypassion · 31/03/2019 21:21

I got a Birthday card with 'birthday' crossed out and Mother's Day added.

DH was out last night and tonight (staying out) at concerts and away all next week on business. I'm a little miffed to say the least...

BedraggledBlitz · 31/03/2019 21:27

I understand what you mean OP. I definitely think it's the thought that counts and would be disappointed if there was clearly no thought.

It's an opportunity for him to show that you are appreciated. You're not asking for the moon on a stick.

For my first mothers day I got a greatest hits CD, "do you want it wrapped?" as he handed over the carrier bag. He then wrote the card in front of me. He thought it was hilarious. We are no longer together, so I get nothing, and that is fine by me!

CF43 · 31/03/2019 21:29

what are space raiders? my son did some helpful things this morning, he fed the cat and rabbit, he helped me empty the dishwasher.

I guess it's the little things for me, we shared some sweets and watched a film, i got to choice the film. We laughed and walked and just had fun.

I wouldn't want it any other way.

catofaragon · 31/03/2019 21:29

I know there are always people worse off than you. I've never been a mum and wish I had. I don't like anyone playing the 'worse off than you card'.

But today my friend woke up knowing that her teenage son killed himself last summer. I cannot imagine her pain.

So I'm afraid I'm saying again, count your blessings. You're a mum and you're loved. Things don't matter.

jillowarriorqueen · 31/03/2019 21:30

I just came home from buying a card from the corner shop for myself from my almost 15 year old daughter who got me nothing at all. Been down all day about it. She couldn't even make one as she's "rubbish at art", yet oddly is predicted a 6 or 7 for GCSE Art. My 11 year old made me a card and picked some wild flowers out of the garden which I loved though.
I don't know why I bought a card for myself. Irrational, as when she writes it, it won't mean anything now.

Kylieemilyj · 31/03/2019 21:30

I do kinda get where your coming from but at the end of the day your kids are still young and therefore its down to your partner to sort presents so you cant expect much, and cant really compare to what you buy him for fathers day, different people put in different amount of effort for these things. When i was young my dad used to buy gifts for my mum for mothers day, and I think mum used to return the favour but i cant really remember and they were separated , but my parents were just happy to spend time with me on that day!

crispysausagerolls · 31/03/2019 21:31

Wow.

I woke up today and I actually cried (potentially to do with the missing hour of sleep) because I felt SO fucking grateful to have a baby. To have a healthy baby. I thought about all the people who cannot have a baby and want one, and I thought about all the people with sick babies and I felt so so so lucky that I cried. This isn’t virtue signalling I am being deadly serious - to actually come online and take the effort to write a post to complain because your Mother’s Day gift wasn’t good enough is disgraceful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

morewashingtodooo · 31/03/2019 21:33

Wow
Do you cry every time you eat to because people in Africa don't?...
what crap.

escapade1234 · 31/03/2019 21:36

I get it OP. I don’t think you will find comfort on MN though. People are weird about women expecting credit or thanks or thoughtfulness. We’re supposed to be happy with the bare minimum.

And everything is a race to the bottom. Thank your lucky stars you have a child. Be grateful you have a DH. Be satisfied your husband signed a card. Etc etc

In my world we do a lot more than that. We plan and show appreciation on these occasions and I do it in return on birthdays and Father’s Day and every other occasion worth marking. We push the boat out, not financially, but in terms of effort.

I was taught by my father how to treat my mother on mother’s day. He showed me what to do and why. Now I expect my DH to show my children how to do mother’s day properly. He does. And I show my children how to celebrate each other’s birthdays. One day they will hopefully have husbands and wives and they will know how to make them feel appreciated too. This stuff is learned and passed on.

I get it.

livelyredjellybean · 31/03/2019 21:37

I sent my DH a link for a printable mother’s day card; I didn’t even get that. He even asked me to buy my own gift yesterday as I was finishing work in a supermarket. I got a cup of tea in bed - after prompting. Be grateful.

crispysausagerolls · 31/03/2019 21:37

morewashingtodooo

It’s my first Mother’s Day. I was told I was unfertile and would never have a baby. I am just so fucking grateful to have him. It’s one day a year which draws attention to that in particular and, as I said, maybe was a bit overemotinal (not quite screaming in the sistene chapel but close) due to sleep deprivation.

I just think people need to appreciate what they fucking have.

HotChocLit · 31/03/2019 21:39

Yabvu

LesLavandes · 31/03/2019 21:40

Get a grip

Tilikum · 31/03/2019 21:42

You're getting your arse handed to you here OP but I think YANBU.

He asked you 'which card do you want?'. He couldn't even be bothered thinking "would TiredMummy8 like this card?", or going to the shop alone and choosing you something. A gift of a random plaque from Amazon is, again, not thoughtful or personal. It's not that you want diamonds and furs, you just wanted him to think about doing something meaningful for you, the way you do for him on Fathers Day.

my2bundles · 31/03/2019 21:45

I bought myself some chocolates which me and my son shared in front of the tv ❤ spent the day treating my own mum, it was the perfect day x

SoyDora · 31/03/2019 21:45

A gift of a random plaque from Amazon is, again, not thoughtful or personal

No it’s not. But the OP says she would be happy with a frame saying ‘mummy’ from a supermarket. How is that any more thoughtful or personal?

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