Aibu to expect more for mothers day

[Tiredmummy8]

I have two daughters aged 1 and 5 and I feel like my husband could put a but more effort in when it comes to mothers day. He got me a card (one i chose) the day before MD while we were shopping and it was signed from both girls and gave me a little wodden plaque with a small verse about mothers he ordered from Amazon a few a couple days ago while in bed. AIBU to want a bit more effort I feel really disappointed and guilty for feeling like it. MD is so easy wine, flowers, candles, chocolates, just about anything from card factory or any supermarket with the word mummy on!

I'm not getting how something from the supermarket with the word mummy in it is preferable or more thoughtful than a plaque about mothers from Amazon?

It's not that you want diamonds and furs, you just wanted him to think about doing something meaningful for you, the way you do for him on Fathers Day

No, she wanted a mug or frame from a supermarket or Card Factory.

Maybe the OP was expecting her DH to take the children to the supermarket to choose something for her, rather than him just searching for 'mothers day gifts' on Amazon and buying the first item that came up, with no input from the children?

YABVU.

@akrotiri1 it’s my birthday next week too! I’ve put my order in for what I’d like from DH and the kids. I let him go rogue for MD and got a penknife

YABVU

Join the 5 year old up to a uniformed organisation. Take the baby to a church toddler group. Honestly the goodies from those are way better than school. One year toddler made me a box covered in glitter with 3 (roses or celebrations style) chocolates inside. This year DD sewed me a plaque at brownies. School are usually good too, did your 5 year old not conspicuously tell you not to look inside her book bag?

For mother’s day I got a home made card, scented candle, flowers & chocolates.

I also got to be up before everyone else, got to do all the house work, washing etc... before DH and DC’s emerged from bed. Then DH made me scrambled eggs with some lovely crunchy egg shell included and a rank cup of coffee.

Did I complain? Nope! I thought everything - even the egg shell scrambled egg was a lovely thought. Would I have complained if I’d got no gifts at all? Nope! The home made card and breakfast would have been enough for me.

Be grateful for what you have. Some people don’t have kids or a mum to share mothers day with. Stop being so materialistic.

YABU

I woke up to a cup of tea and a homemade card from my DD10 ... followed swiftly by a request to iron her favourite shirt. I didn't mind that I didn't get a gift because it's not about presents, it's the thought.

DD is going away on holiday with ExDH tomorrow so I'm sure she'll bring me back some plastic tat meaningful souvenir from her trip, but for today it was spent having a relaxed morning at home; strolling round to my mums with a small gift (chocs and a CD) and cards from us both; then visiting my grandmother (mums mum) in her nursing home with a plant and a box of chocs; and stopping off on the way home to take flowers and plants to the cemetery for my other gran (dads mum).

I probably spent less than £20 total on all of the gifts because they were just small tokens of my appreciation and the real gift was getting to spend time with them all today.

Op, it sounds as though what you wanted was fuss, fuss and more fuss; and to be the centre of attention all day. You sound hard work.

Sorry haven't read the full thread but yanbu op. I very much doubt it's really about the material things.

I remember a year when life was tiring and I desperately needed to feel cared for and a little pampered - and having a little cry. It sucks to feel you don't matter or similar.

I'm sure your DC are amazing but it can also be quite wearing having young DC OP. It all gets easier. Its ok to have a little grump about not feeling appreciated.

That’s the thing I don’t expect anything for mother’s day, you chose to be a mother, I appr3chiate my mum every day I don’t need a special day created by company’s to make money to tell my mum she’s appreciated.
I didn’t expect anything from my dc just like my mum didn’t expect anything from us. I still had to do the ironing, cleaning, I didn’t stop being a Mum....24/7 and that’s how it’s suppose to be.

So you basically want the tackiest gifts that he can find?

Appreciate what you’ve got.

My children potted a plant from the garden for me and made a card. We spent the day on the beach. It’s been fantastic.

@crispysausagerolls congratulations to you and your lo
I'm not saying we shouldn't be grateful for our dc, I have a 11 year gap and adore my baby that I was lucky to have. But after all the running around and crap Mother's do we are seen as moaning old cow because we expect a little effort.
After 14 years of being a parent all I asked for was to have a lie in, for him to look after the lo while I just relaxed. I don't want flowers or cards just some me time. Maybe even some thought, liking getting me some of my favourite snacks to eat in bed because when it's Father's Day they get the celebration they bloody want.

when it's Father's Day they get the celebration they bloody want.

But then just don’t acknowledge it this year! Maybe next year you will get your lie in (i hope!)

@crispysausagerolls hopefully

To the previous poster feeling very lucky to be a mum... it can be tricky when you are feeling that that. Even if feeling grateful, sometimes motherhood can be challenging. You can feel lucky and still not love every minute - but find it difficult to allow yourself that. Just remember you may need to cut yourself some slack sometimes.

I lost my son a few years ago. This morning my remaining children climbed into bed with me and we cuddled and giggled. That’s enough Mother’s day “gifts” for me. If you’re making yourself unhappy by comparing to others then feel free to compare yourself to me. Are all your children healthy and alive? There you go. You’ve got everything you need then.

Some people like to go all out for occasions and others don't. I have never gone to that much effort for Father's Day. I've pretty much done what your DH did for you today, a card from the dc's and a small father related gift.

If you push the boat out and plan that much for Father's Day because you enjoy doing it, great. Otherwise just keep things simple.

@AceOfSpades123

kids are still young and therefore its down to your partner to sort presents so you cant expect much, and cant really compare to what you buy him for fathers day,

Wtf, why not? Are men not capable of reciprocating?

God my DP took us all to the shops last night and the kids picked cards and I picked out a jewellery box and a little bunch of flowers that they all gave me this morning (because I always pick my own presents), then DP made me and my mum breakfast, done most of the housework today and bought me an extra box of chocolates when he went to the shop.

My DP has A LOT of faults but he always puts the effort in for things like that, as I do for him because the kids are to young to make breakfast, do housework or go to the shops to buy a present (I think cards of any kind for any reason are a waste of money so I couldn't care less about them). It's honestly not that difficult for DPS and DHS to use their brain and show that they actually care, it's down to absolute laziness if they don't, and we shouldn't be greatful for any old shite that's thrown our way.

YABVU. You got a card and a present. You're expecting way too much and coming across as ungrateful.

This is ridiculous! If the OP's husband wants to buy a Mothers Day gift it should be for his mother, not his wife!

Can mothers no longer accept that very young children are not capable of thinking about buying a mothers day gift? When they're older, of course, it's different; they can buy or make cards or gifts themselves.

To expect your husband to buy gifts and pretend that they are from the children is bizarre! It's like the people who buy Christmas presents for each other "from the dog"! It's just daft.

Totally agree @Drogosnextwife .