To want to eat food I enjoy when we go out for a meal?

[FoodieLexie]

A bit first-world problem here, but I'll plough on anyway.

My DH and I have very different tastes in food. I like veg-based dishes, with lots of herbs and spices and contrasting tastes. DH likes comfort food - think bangers & mash, shepherd's pie. I don't mind comfort food, but it would never be my first choice IYSWIM.

But as DH doesn't like any spicy food, or anything remotely "foreign", if we go out for a meal we always go to places that serve the food he prefers. We've done this for 20 years now.

AIBU to think that, just sometimes (my birthday, Mother's Day etc) we could go to a restaurant that serves the type of food I enjoy?

What's really annoying is that as far as I know, DH has never even tried anything different, so how does he know he doesn't like it?

I know I could go to "my" type of restaurant with a friend, but we don't have a huge amount of money, and we like to spend what we have on going out together.

You don’t even get to pick a restaurant on your birthday?!?! Is he as selfish the rest of the time?

Just stand firm and insist. It just go with your family or friends and leave theardy arse behind

There will always be Chips and bread for the miserable git if he dies go along

Obviously yanbu but you've kind of answered it for yourself, you'll eat his type of.food but he wont eat yours so if you did go for a curry for example what would he eat?

My sister has the same problem, her partner won't try anything new, she always comes out with us instead.

I would introduce an alternating system and on your birthday it is always your choice and on his it is always his. Nice and fair then :)

Most Indian restaurants have something English on the menu. Why can't you go for a curry and let him choose something English and bland!

Most Indian restaurants do chicken and chips etc under an 'English' section on the menu.

Definitely pick the restaurant when it’s your celebration!! Organise it yourself to make sure and talk about how excited you are to do something different and not boring.

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Yanbu !
My dp can be pretty fussy and has some allergies but does at least like curry so that’s most likely. Luckily I can afford to eat out with others occasionally (and go and see films that are not to his taste).

Just go out for an curry love. Ditch the boring old stick in the mud.

Go somewhere that is a buffet selection, like a Cosmos type place?

Can't you find a restaurant serving both? Most around here have very extensive menus.

That's incredibly selfish of him. He will be able to find something on the menu he can tolerate occasionally, either chips as PPs have said or try a korma or dry curry.

My DH had a very restricted diet but he has really worked on it for my sake. He's never got to tolerate Thai food but he will eat some things like shashlik and naan bread on an indian menu. Also there are quite a lot of pubs that do some sort of veggie curry along with burgers & steaks etc.

Bloody hell, I can't believe you have put up with that for 20 years.
He's just going to have to try something new or have something from the bland of the day menu, selfish sod.

Ltb.

So inform him his 20 years of controlling the restaurant choices are up and now begins your 20 years.

Happy anniversary darling!

But surely he doesn't eat bangers & mash/shepherd's pie for a meal out?

Isn't the point to go for something that you wouldn't have at home?

What a big baby. And so boring!

You choose for the next 20 years.

Of course yanbu to want to choose where to go for your meal out!

He can have steak or chicken and chips at Indian or Chinese restaurants. I wouldn't be going out for a meal if it meant having sausage and mash!

I'm surprised you haven't taken it in turns. Of course you should also get to decide where you want to go on Mother's day.

A lot of restaurants that do the comfort food also do curry, Thai etc surely?

However, YANBU. If he doesn't want to come you will have to take a friend instead - he does sound very selfish. Is he like this in other ways?

we like to spend what we have on going out together.

Baffled. Because he doesn’t seem bothered whether you’re enjoying yourself or not.

Wow he’s selfish, entitled and self-absorbed, isn’t he!

I can’t believe you’ve gone along with this for 20 years, and no of course YANBU to want to actually have something you enjoy on your special days.

What a selfish boor!

It goes without saying that he knows full well that he could have e.g. chicken and chips at a curry restaurant.

He's just too selfish and mean to be ok with taking turns to choose, and presumably (as the OP puts up with it) too ready to either complain or sulk if it looks like he might not be first, first, first on every occasion.

I wouldn't exactly feel like spending my limited cash enjoying company like this, I have to say.