To want to eat food I enjoy when we go out for a meal?

[FoodieLexie]

A bit first-world problem here, but I'll plough on anyway.

My DH and I have very different tastes in food. I like veg-based dishes, with lots of herbs and spices and contrasting tastes. DH likes comfort food - think bangers & mash, shepherd's pie. I don't mind comfort food, but it would never be my first choice IYSWIM.

But as DH doesn't like any spicy food, or anything remotely "foreign", if we go out for a meal we always go to places that serve the food he prefers. We've done this for 20 years now.

AIBU to think that, just sometimes (my birthday, Mother's Day etc) we could go to a restaurant that serves the type of food I enjoy?

What's really annoying is that as far as I know, DH has never even tried anything different, so how does he know he doesn't like it?

I know I could go to "my" type of restaurant with a friend, but we don't have a huge amount of money, and we like to spend what we have on going out together.

Loads of diner style places will do steaks and burgers, and you can enjoy fajitas and other much more interesting foods. A decent pub will have a good range of foods as well. I think perhaps you need to be more selective where you eat, and don't just stick to places that only offer British cuisine.

A PP upthread mentioned Wetherspoons. While it isn't gourmet food, at least you can get something approximating a reasonably decent curry.

"Obviously yanbu but you've kind of answered it for yourself, you'll eat his type of.food but he wont eat yours so if you did go for a curry for example what would he eat? "

I don't think it's the same really. Lots of people just can't eat curries. They give me problems you don't want to hear about and it's just not worth it. She can eat comfort food, it just isn't her first choice.

All the Indian restaurants round here do English food as well. It can't be that difficult to find one where the OP lives.

"All the Indian restaurants round here do English food as well. It can't be that difficult to find one where the OP lives."

The ones where I live don't. One of them won't do anything mild so when I go there I just have some bread.

You should choose a place you enjoy at least for Mothers Day and your birthday.

"I've been thinking about Mothers Day and actually I would really like to go to X place, so I'll book it shall I?"
"But you know I dont like spicy food"
"I know, but its mothers day so my choice and I checked and they do chips so you wont starve! I'm really looking forward to it!"

All said in a bright and breezy non confrontational manner, but making clear that you are going to your choice of restaurant. A good man will suck it up. A selfish prick will whine and sulk until you change your mind, and if he does the latter then you have bigger problems than where to eat.

He wont like it as you have pandered to his shit for too long, but you must stand your ground on this. You choose on your special days, he chooses on his and every other time you take it in turns.

I say this as a very very fussy eater who struggles to eat out anywhere. My issues are mine and not anyone elses.

its proper chopsticks or nothing and the menu was in Japanese as well!

Sorry as an aside, unless this was in Japan I find this hard to believe. I love Japanese food and have eaten at many many Japanese restaurants and have never come across one where the menu was just in Japanese.

What's the point in spending money on food he doesn't like?
Get a takeaway of your own food choices or go out to eat with someone else.

What's the point in spending money on food he doesn't like?

Because its not all about him?!

And, as has been pointed out, most restaurants will have something he could eat so no money will be wasted.

She can eat comfort food, it just isn't her first choice.

So why does he always get first choice? There is no reason he can't eat the other food, just that he doesn't like it.

It's a bit like the vegan who started at our work and tried to demand that every meal that we went to, or was catered for, should be vegan because she was offended if someone ate meat near her. There was always food she could eat, but she didn't want anyone to get a choice except her. She didn't last long.

Just another selfish prick of a husband.

There must be plenty of places that cater for both of you.

Yes, I agree that the vast majority of Japanese restaurants in the U.K. will have English menus and forks if requested. Perhaps the PP was unknowingly in one in a Japanese community- I think there are some around UK Japanese car factories.

I have very conservative taste in food but my adult DC and their DC like all sorts of cuisine.
I can always find a meal to satisfy my boring palate whichever foreign restaurant we go to.

Just another selfish prick of a husband.

Bit harsh! He got up at 5am this morning to make me a cup of tea as I had an early train.

Pyongyang - am going to try your approach. In fairness, he probably doesn’t realise just how bored I am of comfort food. He will sit and eat boiled rice and look a bit sad, but it won’t kill him to put up with it once in a while.

You need one of those around the world buffet places OP.
DH can have pie and chips and the world is your oyster...

Sorry, no help OP... Go out with your friends & leave him at home with a pot noodle! 😄

I think there is an issue with the fact that a lot of men still don't accept the idea that sometimes they need to prioritize their female partners over themselves. Women are expected to indulge men constantly, even when it's inconvenient or boring or in some way physically uncomfortable for them; men are socialised to consider themselves the more important one in a heterosexual partnership. So yes, the little woman gets to do what she wants up to the point where the man actually has to put himself our, wait his turn, or do something which benefits her but has no benefit to him.

Seriously OP just book an Indian/Chinese/Thai/Mexican/Italian or whatever you fancy. Pull the menu up on line before you book it or tell him and then when he starts to whine you can trump him with "but you love steak and chips/chicken and chips/omlette/whatever darling and they serve that"

You could also be prepared with some things on the menu that he would like if they didn't have a "funny name" eg the chicken balls at the chinese are just big chicken nuggets if you don't put the sweet and sour sauce on.

Just stop putting up with it.

To add to my previous post - I am not entirely without sympathy, I did once sit in a restaurant with a plate of chips and nothing else because it was the only thing they served that I could eat.

" I did once sit in a restaurant with a plate of chips and nothing else because it was the only thing they served that I could eat."

This is what I got in a Chinese restaurant once. I was really glad they had chips, but then downhearted when I realised they had no ketchup or mayonnaise or anything that could really be put on them. Just dry chips :(

"as has been pointed out, most restaurants will have something he could eat so no money will be wasted."

And as others have pointed out, this is not the case everywhere. The Indian restaurants where I live, for example, only serve Indian food.

I am not entirely without sympathy, I did once sit in a restaurant with a plate of chips and nothing else because it was the only thing they served that I could eat.

You mean that you would 'choose' to eat. Unless you have some weird dietary requirements that mean you can't eat anything from another culture, then you were the one to choose to sit with a plate of chips.

The Indian restaurants where I live, for example, only serve Indian food.

Shock, horror! Restaurant doesn't serve 'western' food for fussy eaters.

No one chooses to be like that. But I’d rather starve than put the wrong foods in my mouth.

It’s nothing to do with other cultures either. There is plenty of English food I don’t eat either.