To want to eat food I enjoy when we go out for a meal?

[FoodieLexie]

A bit first-world problem here, but I'll plough on anyway.

My DH and I have very different tastes in food. I like veg-based dishes, with lots of herbs and spices and contrasting tastes. DH likes comfort food - think bangers & mash, shepherd's pie. I don't mind comfort food, but it would never be my first choice IYSWIM.

But as DH doesn't like any spicy food, or anything remotely "foreign", if we go out for a meal we always go to places that serve the food he prefers. We've done this for 20 years now.

AIBU to think that, just sometimes (my birthday, Mother's Day etc) we could go to a restaurant that serves the type of food I enjoy?

What's really annoying is that as far as I know, DH has never even tried anything different, so how does he know he doesn't like it?

I know I could go to "my" type of restaurant with a friend, but we don't have a huge amount of money, and we like to spend what we have on going out together.

My oh was exactly same “don’t like curry” - funnily enough he had never had it. We always ended up in the usual pizza express/presto (and that was a stretch as Italian is exotic to him) but recently I’ve enforced the rule that we take it in turns and lo and behold he has decided he now likes curry (albeit a mild dish which he gets “dry”)

How have you tolerated such an immature, narrow-minded manchild for 20 years? I couldn't handle it.

Prezzo not presto

we like to spend what we have on going out together.

Is this code for him being the kind of man who doesn't really have his own social life?

He sounds like that kind tbh. I'd be surprised if he was seen as a generally happy, generous man with lots of friends. I suspect he has 'pub mates', but not much more.

OP go out with a friend for mother's day - why not? Sounds like you'd have a far nicer time with someone who might actually be a pleasure to spend time with.

Do you have anywhere like a nice pub serving food that would suit you both? We both like all kinds of food but we often go to places that do a mix of things like curries but also things like fish and chips, steak pie etc

I’m surprise you’ve lasted this long, I would have put my foot down years ago. What about trying Lebanese. They have loads of delicious vegetable dishes for you and your OH could have some grilled chicken or lamb (i’m Sure they’do It plain if you asked) and chips.

LTB!

My DH was like this. He liked plain, plain food.

Then we spent 6 months in Asia...he had no choice but to try new foods, now he loves everything I do. it was just a case of him getting confident trying new food and spice. His DM is very traditional and is of an age where different cuisine is 'foreign stuff's.

But short of that, jeeze, you should at least pick your own birthday restaurant!

Surely there are places that do both..? Do you mean he chooses the restaurant every time, rather than the sort of restaurant? Because I can’t believe you only go to restaurants that only do one or the other.

Just go with a friend or by yourself to eat what you want. Stuff him and what he wants. No one wants to eat bangers and mash or a shepherds pie on a night out. Is he very old? like 60-80s?

He hasn't tried any new food in 20 years?! Don't know how you both managed it. I'd start by saying you want something different and refuse to go out with him if he stops like a fussy toddler

It obviously can’t be that much of a problem for you if you tolerated the situation for 20 years before getting frustrated.
I could not have married someone with this degree of narrow-mindedness.

I can’t remember the last time I saw shepherds pie on a menu anywhere tbh!

What kind of places do you go to which only serve things like sausage and mash and cottage pie? Even most basic pub menus have a variety of different types of dishes on offer. That said he is being selfish if he won't try new places with you, and I wouldn't like to be with someone with such a narrow palate as it suggests that he's boring, inflexible and uncultured.

Thing is most restaurants do a plain option for children or fussy boring eaters.

An Indian restaurant will do all the spicy veg dishes for you but a plain chicken and rice for the toddler your married to. Chinese places often do chicken/omelette & chips again this would suit you could have your veg dishes and he could eat like the fussy adult he is. Italian places will do a basic pizza for the boring of the group etc

Allergies I could understand but his just fussy, would drive me mad.

Book the restaurant you want, he can suck it up. FFS you live once eat the bloody food you want....

20 years? 20 YEARS?
Jesus Lord go and have a curry. He clearly doesn’t care unless you’ve never told him you want something different.

I can understand those that are saying "go out with other people that like similar/willing to try different foods"

But why would those that know that their partner doesn't like that type of food force them to go to a restaurant where they couldn't eat anything?

but we don't have a huge amount of money, and we like to spend what we have on going out together.

but we don't have a huge amount of money, and we like to spend what we have on going where he wants to go.

That’s really what you’re saying OP, and I wouldn’t put up with that nonsense.

Nothing more attractive than a man who eats like a toddler.

@BoneyBackJefferson. All places can rustle something up for the boring. They all do chips, bread, chicken, basic pizza etc because they are used to catering for young kids.

Agree with all the above. I’m curious though- do you cook that food for yourself at home? If not, does this mean that you have literally not eaten the type of food you like for 20 years?!

Wetherspoons do a passable curry as well as bangers and mash.

He can have steak or chicken and chips at Indian or Chinese restaurants

I haven’t seen one with English food in the last 25 years but agree they all do something plain like some rice or plain noodle

Try Japanese. Plenty of veggie stuff and he can have a plain Chicken Katsu. It doesn’t have to be Indian food. Lots of cuisines out there that will do him a simple grilled chicken or lamb.

does he have arfid or anything similar?
if so its fully understandable

I’m the one with unadventurous tastes in food in our marriage. But there’s always something I can have whatever the restaurant, and am willing to try. When we go to a curry house I have a korma and it’s delicious, for example. I don’t have anything like as eclectic a taste in food as DH but wouldn’t wish to prevent him from eating food he enjoys either.