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AIBU?

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Original poster

To go away with husband but without children for two weeks?!!

170 replies

ke002 · 22/03/2019 18:56

Hubby and I both have a big birthday next year and we'd like to mark the occasion by trekking to the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Due to the altitude, the success rate increases the more days you take to do it. I understand that 5 days is about a 50% success rate increasing up to 8 days at an almost 100% success rate. It's bloody expensive to do (as by law you have to go with a guide and porters and anyway we would be happy to be employing them for those days) so we want to give it our best shot at summiting so have opted for a route that takes 7 days which includes getting down again.

I would like to get there a couple of days beforehand as I don't fancy setting off immediately after a long haul flight. We are also wondering if we should take advantage of being in Africa and go on a mini safari or just laze on a Zanzibar beach for a couple of days.

All of that, plus a couple of days of traveling, would be about two weeks. Is that unfair on my kids though as they will be nearly 11 and 8.5? Then there's my parents who will be looking after them outside of school hours for two weeks! Plus I'll miss them. One minute I'm talking myself out of it and the next I'm thinking Sod It, let's do it!

OP posts:
tomhazard · 22/03/2019 18:58

At their age I definitely would do this- as long as your parents genuinely don't mind looking after them that long. Sounds like a great trip and I'm sure if you promise your kids a little beach holiday or camping trip not too long afterwards then they'll be sold :-)

Crockof · 22/03/2019 18:59

I'd do it, it will be a great re connect for you and your hubby. Just buy them a great present. It does depend on how your parents feel, can you rope in friends as well.

PotteringAlong · 22/03/2019 18:59

I wouldn’t. 2 weeks is a long time for all concerned.

Yellowcar2 · 22/03/2019 19:01

Do it and enjoy it, Your plans sound amazing! For our 10 year anniversary in 2 years DH and I are planning on having a week away on our own leaving our 3 DC who will then be 8, 5 & 3 with my DM and DD.

Singlenotsingle · 22/03/2019 19:03

Yes, it sounds great! Kids and dgps will enjoy having some bonding time, and they're old enough; they won't miss you at all!

Herculesupatree · 22/03/2019 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mascarponeandwine · 22/03/2019 19:04

Would your parents be up for a two week stint? are they fit and healthy? Excuse my ignorance about mt Kilimanjaro- are there risks (like could one or both of you get sick or be injured?). If both those factors are fine then no reason why not!

SleepingStandingUp · 22/03/2019 19:04

Well only you know if your parents would gladly do it, would do it under sufference but silently or would bitch and moan about you.and if the kids will genuinely be OK for that long.

Will you be able to Skype?
Are you happy with your parents making any medical decisions?
Do your parents live near?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/03/2019 19:08

Seems like a big ask on your parents tbh

Orangecake123 · 22/03/2019 19:09

They'll be in save hands.
Go if the grandparents honestly wouldn't mind.

Dohangoversgetworseasyougetold · 22/03/2019 19:11

Adding my voice to the (almost consensus): if your parents are genuinely up for it, then go for it!

rosewater20 · 22/03/2019 19:13

I would do it as long as the grandparents are fit and happy. This might be your only chance to have this experience, and it is really good and healthy for you and your husband to get away and have a bonding experience together. You might consider having a sibling (your husbands or yours if you have them) watch the children on the weekend to give the grandparents a break?

I remember my parents went away to Italy for two weeks when I was around that age, and I stayed with my grandparents. I loved it, and my parents had a great time (my mother still talks about that holiday as being her favourite).

Mintychoc1 · 22/03/2019 19:14

I wouldn’t do it. Too long for the kids and grandparents. The only people who would enjoy this are you and your DH, and that seems rather selfish to me.

Whatsername7 · 22/03/2019 19:16

This sort of thing is so personal. I wouldn't- but not for any reason other than I'd be miserable without my kids after a couple of days. They will be fine with their gps. You will have a lovely time. If its something you want to do and everyone who is affected is happy with the arrangement then go for it.

randomchap · 22/03/2019 19:16

Do it, enjoy, have fun.

Janleverton · 22/03/2019 19:16

Am on fence, but I think I personally couldn’t do this with dh - it’s quite a risky activity really and while I know that just us two going out in a car is risky, I’d just not feel great leaving the dcs to deliberately do something relatively dangerous.

Alsohuman · 22/03/2019 19:17

Do it, it sounds amazing. If the grandparents will be OK with it it's win/win all round.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 22/03/2019 19:17

You and DH should go for it!
My daughter and son-in-law did this a few years ago. He managed the summit, but, unfortunately, my daughter didn't - due to altitude sicknesses. This was his part of the holiday. The other part, my daughter's choice, was a mini safari. Both thoroughly enjoyed their time.

SevenStones · 22/03/2019 19:17

I'd definitely do it. You could make it into an adventure for the kids back home by getting a map and they could trek your progress every day, make it into a game. I'm sure if GPs and kids enjoy each other's company the kids would think that was a mini adventure in itself staying with them for a couple of weeks!

babysharkah · 22/03/2019 19:18

I don't think I could, I'd (very!) happily leave them for a week but two just seems too long.

Disfordarkchocolate · 22/03/2019 19:18

It wouldn't be for me with the age of your youngest but don't let that stop you!! If your parents are up for it and the children are happy then go and have an adventure.

jelliebelly · 22/03/2019 19:18

I wouldn't - too selfish in my view - grandparents and kids for two weeks is too much.

LifeBeginsNow · 22/03/2019 19:19

I would. As long as you start talking about it way before you go and really get them involved in understanding it. It's a goal you both have and it's important for children to realise that even as adults you have things you want to do.

What would they like to do? Can they think of any goals for when you come back?

Xyzzzzz · 22/03/2019 19:19

I’d go away with the children providing your parents are really happy to look after them.

Not sure I’d do Mount Kilimanjaro lol

Shookethtothecore · 22/03/2019 19:21

We left my much younger children to go in our honeymoon for 12 days. They were 2 Nd 5. It was against my better judgment as I felt it was too long and too far but I wanna convinced. GP’s who they are close to moved in to our house be they all had an absolute whale of a time and loved it, no issues.
I was in paradise half the world away in bits coz I missed them so much and couldn’t relax and enjoy myself. I would never do it again. We leave our kids often for weekends and night away aswell. But it wa just too long and too far away it felt risky