To go away with husband but without children for two weeks?!!

[ke002]

Hubby and I both have a big birthday next year and we'd like to mark the occasion by trekking to the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Due to the altitude, the success rate increases the more days you take to do it. I understand that 5 days is about a 50% success rate increasing up to 8 days at an almost 100% success rate. It's bloody expensive to do (as by law you have to go with a guide and porters and anyway we would be happy to be employing them for those days) so we want to give it our best shot at summiting so have opted for a route that takes 7 days which includes getting down again.

I would like to get there a couple of days beforehand as I don't fancy setting off immediately after a long haul flight. We are also wondering if we should take advantage of being in Africa and go on a mini safari or just laze on a Zanzibar beach for a couple of days.

All of that, plus a couple of days of traveling, would be about two weeks. Is that unfair on my kids though as they will be nearly 11 and 8.5? Then there's my parents who will be looking after them outside of school hours for two weeks! Plus I'll miss them. One minute I'm talking myself out of it and the next I'm thinking Sod It, let's do it!

Do it. If the DC had an opportunity to go on an amazing trip for the same length of time, you'd say yes and fewer posters would criticise you. The only difference here is that they get a holiday where their GPs look after them and you get a once in a lifetime experience.

Children whose parents are divorced frequently spend half the school holidays with the other parent - which can be over three weeks. I hope the PWCs there aren't expected to stay at home pining for their children.

I wasn't even remotely bothered at age 4 when my mother went into hospital for several weeks. The 'choices' were stay at home with my older brothers (14, 16 and 19) looking after me (the high school was five minutes away from my school and ten minutes from home and the eldest worked 10 mins in the opposite direction) or going to my sister's house after the first week. I chose the 2nd option and had my 5th birthday 60 miles away with a bunch of strangers. Didn't matter to me that she needed to go to hospital or if she'd wanted to go on holiday, it was different and exciting and I loved it.

If I were in the position of the GPs, I'd love every moment of it, too.

I'd guess you are doing this for your 40th birthdays as not everybody is daft enough to get knocked up at 19 like I was. That puts GPs at roughly 65 - perfectly capable of looking after two older children. And there is definitely no guarantee you'll be physically able to do this aged 50, but even if you're doing it for your 30th, your health can change hugely between 30 and 40, as it can for GPs going from around 55 to 75. (Or even older if they had you in their 30s).

in other words, just do it.

We only get 5 weeks annual leave we need it all for family holidays + covering school days off & school holidays so wouldn't use 2 weeks on just us at the mo. We went to NYC for 5 days for my 40th left with GP. I think that was our & the GPS (!) limit. We've 3 even as they get older they can be a handful. Kili would be amazing we have done mount meru, safari & zanibar best holiday ever pre kids!

If you wanted to do a 2 week beach holiday without the children I might be a bit more inclined to agree with those saying 2 weeks is a long time, holidays are for families etc, as it would seem like an unnecessarily long time for a couples holiday.

But this is a (probably) once in a lifetime experience to celebrate a special birthday that you might not be able to do, for whatever reason, in 10 or 15 years time. As long as the grandparents are definitely up for it then I would go for it!

I wouldn't.

It wouldn't be the trip of a lifetime for me without the kids. I course you're "still a person" after you have kids but your priorities shift. I'd have paid money not to be separated from kids for a fortnight when they were 8.

Depends so much on the situation. How tired grandparents will get, do the kids love spending time with them. It's a really long time so the kids would have to be completely at home there. How much holiday time will you have left after? I wouldn't do it personally but depending on the situation it might be perfectly reasonable.

As the kids will be at school I was assuming the grandparents would be moving into OP’s home.

Crikey some people! You do know it's not illegal to be 'selfish'? Or to do something for yourself once every 20 years without your children?

Of course you must go op, I insist.

@PCohle I'm the same. I want to holiday with my kids and not without them. I only get 5 weeks holiday a year so would want 5 weeks with them. Everyone is different but this just isn't even something that would enter my mind.

No I wouldn't go. It's too long and you would be pretty much uncontactable for those 7 days. Too risky.

Do it!! You have reliable childcare and it’s a chance for you and your DH to do something wonderful for you.

Your kids will never remember the two weeks they did or didn’t spend with you, but they will benefit forever from having the kind of parents who climbed Mt Kilimanjaro. That will open up so many possibilities for them in terms of role modelling.

I don't think I would - I'd like to give us a "big experience" as a family - we've done all sorts of things as a family and we love it.

I'd go for it. As long as DC have a good relationship with GPs then why not? Sounds like an experience of a lifetime!!

I would go for it. We suggested to our dc 10 they could consider spending a week with grandparents alone. They were thrilled.

i personally wouldnt do that. it feels too long and too much to ask of DPs,

We are also wondering if we should take advantage of being in Africa and go on a mini safari or just laze on a Zanzibar beach for a couple of days.

would finances allow for your DC and parents to join you for the final week/few days? so you are only away from them for a week and you all get to have the safari together to celebrate the birthday as a family?

This one of those things that is different for every family.

Just do it OP. The kids will be safe and happy with GPs.

No. Two weeks when that young I just wouldn’t. A week yes. Not two. I’d wait for next big birthday in 5/10 years.
But depends if you’re kids used to be8mg away from home and you and if your parents are genuinely happy to do that long. Also when. If they’re going to school each day or holiday club then parents are still getting bit of day to self. If expected to look after the, all day and evening then it’s lot

Just do it! YOLO.

Nah I wouldn’t do this. Too long and too far and too dangerous. DD1 is obsessed with my mum and loves to stay there but two nights is her limit and she’s asking when she’s coming home (she’s a home bird)

they will benefit forever from having the kind of parents who climbed Mt Kilimanjaro. That will open up so many possibilities for them in terms of role modelling

If the grandparents are up for it I would. Our kids grandparent are far too old and far away but do give us the occasional weekend off.