To go away with husband but without children for two weeks?!!

[ke002]

Hubby and I both have a big birthday next year and we'd like to mark the occasion by trekking to the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Due to the altitude, the success rate increases the more days you take to do it. I understand that 5 days is about a 50% success rate increasing up to 8 days at an almost 100% success rate. It's bloody expensive to do (as by law you have to go with a guide and porters and anyway we would be happy to be employing them for those days) so we want to give it our best shot at summiting so have opted for a route that takes 7 days which includes getting down again.

I would like to get there a couple of days beforehand as I don't fancy setting off immediately after a long haul flight. We are also wondering if we should take advantage of being in Africa and go on a mini safari or just laze on a Zanzibar beach for a couple of days.

All of that, plus a couple of days of traveling, would be about two weeks. Is that unfair on my kids though as they will be nearly 11 and 8.5? Then there's my parents who will be looking after them outside of school hours for two weeks! Plus I'll miss them. One minute I'm talking myself out of it and the next I'm thinking Sod It, let's do it!

I couldn’t do it and wouldn’t want to. But I can’t even manage a weekend away (no grandparents and, although they are otherwise well adjusted kids, they wouldn’t cope). We travel long haul a lot and for now we take them everywhere and we all have a great time.

My sister and I used to go and stay with our grandparents for 2 weeks in the summer and 2 weeks and Easter at that age and younger and we absolutely loved it.

If the GP’s are happy and kids happy to stay with them then I definitely would.

My sister and I were regularly posted off to our grandparents, both sets, for large chunks of the school holidays. They loved it and we loved it.

And 'doing' Kilimanjaro is on my bucket list so I totally get why you want to go, although I fear it may never reach the top. I could have done it physically ten years ago - when the girls were about the same size as your dcs - but neither set of grandparents were in a position to offer the childcare. Now the children are university size and childcare isn't an issue. But DH's health is, and I've had to have both knees replaced, and one ankle and one elbow and both wrists are beginning to feel arthritic too.

Do it now, the children will have a lovely time with their grandparents, and will be very proud of their brave mum and dad.

I couldn’t & DC is teenager. I would also feel far too guilty having the trip of a lifetime and doing it without DC. I would rather do a trip we could all go on or wait until DC is early 20’s and holidaying with friends.

You know your children and if they would cope without you for that long. I think at their ages they would likely cope but would your parents? That would be my main concern! It's a lot to ask of them!

I loved it when my parents went on holiday when I was 9/10/11. I stayed at my best friend's house and had a fabulous time - this was for 2 weeks each time. They will love being indulged with their grandparents.

No, I wouldn't do it - you can do that kind of thing when your children are grown up as holidays are for families.

Those concerned about the grandparents might want to note that the kids will be at school all day, it's not as if they're toddlers.

My parents went on a non-child friendly holiday when my siblings and I were similar ages to yours and our GPs came to look after us and I don't remember there being any issues at all. I also left my (much younger) DCs with my parents for 11 days while DH and we were all fine too.

However, although I know AIBU is a great place to hear differing views, this is such a personal decision, it's impossible for anybody to advise you. It depends on how happy the GPs would be to do this, how your children will feel etc.

Your kids are 8 and 11. This is golden time to go away with them. 2 more year and puberty hits. You don't know how that's going to go. But probably they aren't going to enjoy your company quite as much as they do now. They will most likely retreat into their headphones and emerge for arguments money and food. You've probably only got 6 more summer holidays with the older one. And you want to waste it on something that will probably end in failure any way?

Do it. I loved my parents going away without me as a child as it meant I got to stay with grandparents/ aunties and uncles where I was spoilt and plus I always got a great present when they came back!

No I wouldn’t. I would miss them too much, they would miss us too much and I wouldn’t ask that of my parents. Just wait until they are older.

They're plenty self sufficient at this age, yes you'll miss them, but imagine the example you are setting them to chase their dreams and push themselves, and even inspire them to do crazy challenges themselves as they head towards teenage years and adulthood!

I did Kilimanjaro last year and it felt incredible to achieve it. Just amazing. It's completely achievable if you set your mind to it (altitude sickness aside) but unbelievably hard work. I have a new found respect for my (wobbly and previously disliked) body and a new boost of 'I can do anything'! Do it. You'll regret it if you don't

All through my childhood l stayed at my grand for at least 2 weeks every Summer with no parents, phones etc. Happy out as knew my GPS loved having me and made me feel very special.
So if GPS enjoy them and won't make them feel a burden go for it. Make sure ye have good travel insurance and do not mention Safari to your kids as they would love that part.
Good relations between parents really helps a child so this opportunity will be good for them in the end.
See you can use that not to feel guilty!!.

I couldn't have left mine for 2 weeks at that age, I must admit. I think they're too young and it's a big ask of grandparents.

Now our DC are all older it's like having a new lease of life without having to worry about childcare and leaving them.... save it until then.

I think 2 weeks is a big ask for grandparents. Kids might think they'll like it then get really homesick and upset a few days in ...then what? Also if the kids get ill they will just want to be at home with their parents. I see it will be in school term which makes it a bit easier but I think a week away without kids somewhere would be total luxury.

I wouldn't! I know my two would hate that, but yours might be more accommodating!

I couldn't do it, two weeks is a long time when they're that age. You'll have other big birthdays, another 10 years and they will be adults. Could it wait until then?

I'd go and I wouldn't worry about it for a moment. Very much depend on whether your parents are happy with it though. Kids are no problem at 8.5 and 11.

I wouldn't do it regularly as I think it's a nice age to go on holiday as a family but as a one off I wouldn't hesitate.

You and your DH can prepare food etc for when you are away if you think it will help, also you could look at asking other friends to run the kids to activities etc if you think that will help.

Another thing that might make it easier if if you let the kids miss any activities that are tricky to get to or organise.

My parents and my kids have always got on brilliantly and would have had a great time without us.

I'm sure you will miss your kids but it might be less than you think.

Not for me - annual leave is too valuable not to spend it with the kids but if you want to do it, do it!

I think it's very selfish to not take your children on holiday with you.

Do it. Your kids will have their own confidence increased by having parents who climbed Kilimanjaro. How cool is that.

They'll be fine with their GP. If you put it off until their older, the teenage years will not be the time to go either, You know they're safe with family. Have good chat with them once they're ok, promise presents.
Your trip sounds amazing, I hope you take the opportunity to go.

They’d be fine
I’m sure grandparents would fine

However it would be twice as long as I’d be happy to do away for. I’m surprised you’re considering the beach few days on top of everything else

I would say do it
But it will be hard to keep in contact.
Internet is not good in Tanzania.
Up Kili no chance and even in hotels it is not good. On safari again it will be variable. In Moshi (where I am) or Arusha before and after it might be OK.

On average two peoples month die on Kili but that is out of the 30 000 a year who climb it. Altitude sickness is a big problem so going slow is good.

You will need a guide and porters as there is a lot to carry.

I'm attaching a picture of Kili to inspire you.