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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To go away with husband but without children for two weeks?!!

170 replies

ke002 · 22/03/2019 18:56

Hubby and I both have a big birthday next year and we'd like to mark the occasion by trekking to the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Due to the altitude, the success rate increases the more days you take to do it. I understand that 5 days is about a 50% success rate increasing up to 8 days at an almost 100% success rate. It's bloody expensive to do (as by law you have to go with a guide and porters and anyway we would be happy to be employing them for those days) so we want to give it our best shot at summiting so have opted for a route that takes 7 days which includes getting down again.

I would like to get there a couple of days beforehand as I don't fancy setting off immediately after a long haul flight. We are also wondering if we should take advantage of being in Africa and go on a mini safari or just laze on a Zanzibar beach for a couple of days.

All of that, plus a couple of days of traveling, would be about two weeks. Is that unfair on my kids though as they will be nearly 11 and 8.5? Then there's my parents who will be looking after them outside of school hours for two weeks! Plus I'll miss them. One minute I'm talking myself out of it and the next I'm thinking Sod It, let's do it!

OP posts:
ZippyBungleandGeorge · 22/03/2019 19:21

We used to spend 2 weeks with GPs every summer, have fabulous memories and a lovely relationship still, if grandparents are up for it go. I wouldn't do the Safari as that's something children would love to do with you. It's teaching your children to be open to big challenges and it's ok to be out of your comfort zone too, take lots of pictures for them.

DearPrudence · 22/03/2019 19:22

No, two weeks is far too long for the children.

FrozenMargarita17 · 22/03/2019 19:22

If gps are happy to have them then I'd definitely go.

AllStar14 · 22/03/2019 19:24

Go!

Loopytiles · 22/03/2019 19:24

Do you have sufficient funds and annual leave to have a family holiday and cover childcare in school holidays, in addition to this trip?

We wouldn’t! Nor the childcare for the actual trip. Envy

Rezie · 22/03/2019 19:26

Go ahead. Some of my favourite memories is when parents went on holiday and we got to be with grandma without the parents!

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 22/03/2019 19:26

Fuck it. Just do it,better to regret the things you've done than the things you haven't imo

crimsonlake · 22/03/2019 19:29

You haven't actually said if your parents are happy to do this. That said you are very lucky to contemplate such a trip, I am sure somebody told me it was at least 40k a person to reach the top, or did I dream it?

BlackPrism · 22/03/2019 19:29

@Loopytiles kids don't need a holiday every year you know

Hippogator · 22/03/2019 19:30

Kids from divorce families go two weeks without seeing their NRP routinely. If you trust the GPs then go for it! The kids will be fine. They aren't toddlers without a concept of time or significance.

llangennith · 22/03/2019 19:32

I loved staying with my maternal Grandma when I was little. All the summer holidays one year. Heaven!
I've looked after various DGC for my DC and we've all enjoyed it.

Babynut1 · 22/03/2019 19:33

Tbh I think it’s a pisstake expecting everyone else to have your kids while you bugger off for 2 weeks on a jolly!
My cousin and his Mrs take a week every year in the summer holidays and go away without their kids. More fool the grandparents who agree to babysit.

I feel that now that We have kids, our holidays should include them. I just can’t comprehend people who can go on holidays for a week or two and leave their kids at home. I can understand a weekend away or the occasional nights. But dunking your kids for 2 weeks is ridiculous!

Loopytiles · 22/03/2019 19:34

Sure, family holidays are not a “need”, but if the DC won’t get one that seems a bit crap for them.

Newyearnewname2019 · 22/03/2019 19:34

No chance.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel · 22/03/2019 19:34

If your parents are happy to have the kids I'd go and make it 3 weeks.

Drum2018 · 22/03/2019 19:36

Go for it. If you wait for kids to grow up in order to do anything like this you might find you are not as healthy/fit. It's not selfish. Your kids are old enough to wave you off and you obviously know that your parents can manage. We left Ds for 2 weeks when he was 2. Don't have the opportunity now but if we did we'd be gone. No doubt your parents and kids will have a ball together.

takeasadsongandmakeitbetter · 22/03/2019 19:37

Do it!

Inliverpool1 · 22/03/2019 19:37

Didn’t you do this stuff before kids ? Of savd it til afterwards in my opinion

Hippee · 22/03/2019 19:37

Parents of my DS's friend have just done exactly this (two weeks including climbing Kilimanjaro), DC are 10 and 13.

AnneOfCleanTables · 22/03/2019 19:38

So many variables - will the gps be happy about it? will the DCs? how settled are the DCs at school etc?
Are you both experienced walkers? If everyone at home is going to be miserable and worrying about you and DH climbing a mountain that can be dangerous then tbh I think you should wait until DCs are older.

Inliverpool1 · 22/03/2019 19:39

Hippogator - divorced children just have to put up with it, doesn’t mean they like it. My son starts wanting to come home after 3/4 days. By 6 he’s up the wall

Spudina · 22/03/2019 19:39

This sounds like the trip of a life time. I think you should go, if the GPs are really on board. It's a great chance for your kids to bond with their GPs, and an amazing experience for you. YOLO. I'm so jealous!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 22/03/2019 19:40

How old are your parents?

Are you absolutely sure they're happy to have the kids for 2 weeks?

It's a very big ask IMO.

ahtellthee · 22/03/2019 19:41

I couldn't, a fortnight is too long for me.

I did Kili 12 years ago, it didn't take so long. I think 7 Days? Have you looked into doing it as part of a group?

Good luck!

Order654 · 22/03/2019 19:42

No I wouldn’t do it.

Do it when there older and left home.

2 weeks is too long imo.

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