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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think you don't leave ten year old home alone for three hours ????

211 replies

HotChocLit · 05/03/2019 22:00

My neighbour works 23 miles away. We live rurally. Last year she left her then 9 year old locked out. Hed had forgotten his house key. I rang her husband. I was a bit worried at the time but put it down to a mistake. It happened again this afternoon. Would you think it unreasonable to report concerns to Children's services?

OP posts:
Ilove · 05/03/2019 22:01

I’d offer to keep a spare key for them

youaremyrain · 05/03/2019 22:02

Was it raining? Was there somewhere to shelter? How did the husband react?

Aquamarine1029 · 05/03/2019 22:02

I think I would report it. That child is vulnerable.

Original poster
HotChocLit · 05/03/2019 22:03

Very very cold and wet both times. he's a lonely lad so no mates to go round. Nowhere to shelter. Husband was angry with him for losing his key. I countered with he's nine.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/03/2019 22:04

So last year they made a mistake with the key. That's been and gone now.

Are they regularly leaving a 10 year old home alone for 3 hours now?

runandbehappy50 · 05/03/2019 22:04

Why the massive drama?

Children's services are overrun with much bigger issues. Much bigger

Original poster
HotChocLit · 05/03/2019 22:05

Aquamarine I feel that way too but I don't want to make things worse for him

OP posts:
Original poster
HotChocLit · 05/03/2019 22:05

Erm every day...

OP posts:
JazzerMcJazzer · 05/03/2019 22:06

I don’t get the connection between leaving him home alone for 3 hours and him being locked out. Presumably he came into your place while he waited for his parents?

Original poster
HotChocLit · 05/03/2019 22:06

Because it's very cold here and the gritters were out. He'd no-one to look after him. He's a child. Id happily take him in.

OP posts:
Original poster
HotChocLit · 05/03/2019 22:07

He was locked out and they both wouldn't be back till 7

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/03/2019 22:07

Is your concern that he's being left alone or that when he forgets his key, he's locked out?

If it's the latter, can you offer to take a key for them?

IncrediblySadToo · 05/03/2019 22:09

SS have far more pressing problems than a 10yo home alone for 3 hours, or a child losing his key once a year.

As their neighbour is more interested in judging than helping, their DS does need a mobile phone.

PCohle · 05/03/2019 22:10

Well the issue isn't really him forgetting the key is it. It's only ever happened twice and this second incident may well prompt his parents to put in place a different system themselves.

It's whether a 9/10 year old being regularly left alone for 3 hours is ok. I think a lot depends on the child but if you're concerned why not speak to the school in the first instance?

To be honest I think his parents are probably better placed to know whether this is OK than you.

Original poster
HotChocLit · 05/03/2019 22:10

His older sister is meant to be at home. Don't think she's too keen. My concern is he's immature and that if an accident happened he wouldn t know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
HotChocLit · 05/03/2019 22:11

Actually he's often home solo. Idk.

OP posts:
Original poster
HotChocLit · 05/03/2019 22:11

Like every day

OP posts:
LovingLola · 05/03/2019 22:12

How old is the sister ?

BrieAndChilli · 05/03/2019 22:12

If he’s 10 then he’s probably in year 6? I’m a few months time he will be starting secondary school where he will be getting himself to and from school, plus there’s no afterschool childcare so may have to come home and be by himself for a few hours? DD is 10 and in year 6 and fully capable of being left at home alone.
It does depend on the child though. DS1 is 12 and comes home twice a week to an empty house until 6pm and has a key (which miraculously he hasn’t lost yet!) and is often left at home on a weekend if he doesn’t want to come shopping etc.
DD age 10 isn’t often left home alone yet and on the odd occasion is with DS1.
DS2 is 8 and I can’t foresee leaving him along for a long while yet as he’s not as sensible as the other two and would get up to all sorts!!

I only work a 5 minute drive away and they have mobiles plus the landline so if anything happened I could be home pretty quickly, plus the neighbours across the road are retired and often home.

Original poster
HotChocLit · 05/03/2019 22:12

Yr 10

OP posts:
Lovestonap · 05/03/2019 22:13

I don't understand, this happened last year but you've decided to be outraged now because it happened once again? I leave my 9 and a half year old alone for a couple of hours sometimes. He prefers it to being dragged round the shops with me. He has rules and he knows what to do/where to go if there's a problem. Which is to a neighbour. One, hopefully who wouldn't then contact child services!?!
Be a good neighbour, take a key for them so if he gets stuck again you can help. Or would you consider it more helpful to try to have him taken into care?

Contraceptionismyfriend · 05/03/2019 22:14

He must have a key and if he's forgotten that then it's down to him.
He's 10. He should be fine to be home alone for a few hours after school before his parents get home.

Original poster
HotChocLit · 05/03/2019 22:14

The after school and brek club both got cancelled so I understand they have less op tions. Her school is about 40mins drive away. His job an hour plus.

OP posts:
MrsEricBana · 05/03/2019 22:15

I agree with you OP, it's far too young to be left alone for hours every day. I think alerting CS is a good idea and they can check. It's not up to you to tackle the parents the child's school. Poor lad.

beeloubee · 05/03/2019 22:15

Hi,

You are not wrong to be worried. It's completely irresponsible and careless of the boy's parents to leave him for hours on his own - anything could happen!

What also worries me is that the boy appears to he isolated, not having any friends and that the dad was angry he lost his key....I would be worried that something more is going on.

Ring social services, it cant do any harm. Think of the Amber peat case, there were warning signs but no one intervened.