Off Sick - being forced to come in

[MyNameIsABCDE]

I'm currently having the heaviest, most painful period of my life. I'm soaking through a tampon AND pad every hour or so and have vomited, feel very weak and faint.

I text my boss yesterday to let him know I was ill (didn't mention it was a period but just said I've been sick and dizzy) and to let him know I might not be in today. His reply was just that he needs me to come in. I text again first thing this morning saying I'm still not well but will try and come in later. Again he just said I need you to come in later.

I work in an office. He doesn't 'need' me there. The others in my team are in today and can cover anything urgent that needs to be done today.

AIBU to think that he should just let me have a day off sick and say hope you feel better soon?

Well your first mistake was making your text sound negotiable.

Just call in, tell them you are very unwell and will not be able to come to work today, sorry, and leave it at that.

Well if you keep offering, he will take you up on it.
Don't say 'might' or 'I will try to'
Call and say you are being sick and you won't be in today.

Yeah he should but you need to be less ambiguous about it as well

Can you email in “further to our phone call I am not well enough to attend work today”?

As long as you’re following absence procedure, it’s tough titties if he NEEDS you there the weirdo.

Hope you feel better soon

Soaking through a pad an hour needs medical investigation ASAP - call 111 and ignore your boss. It can be a medical emergency especially if it’s outside of your norm.

That level of bleeding isn't right, OP - you need to seek medical help pdq.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/woman-says-mumsnet-saved-life-9226089

He's not allowed to force you in on sick leave. Be firm, send an email. Don't answer any calls. Make sure there is a paper trail for any and all communication.

You are not being forced to. Just tell him you are unwell and can’t come in. Have you had previous investigations around heavy periods? That is a lot of blood loss.

He can't actually make you come in. He can discipline you according to work policy if you've done something wrong, but having a sick day isn't a crime. Don't know what your firm's sick pay policy is so it may be that you lose money, but, again, he can't actually force you to go in.

Fair enough, I should've worded the messages differently. But I genuinely thought I might be feeling better by now and we'll enough to go in. It's usual practice at my work to just text when you're ill/running late/have a doctors appointment or whatever.

I'm very rarely off so I just would've expected a bit more sympathy from him

Get some medical help - you really need checking out. And next time don't give the impression that you may be in - tell him you won't be.

Soaking through a pad an hour needs medical investigation ASAP - call 111 and ignore your boss. It can be a medical emergency especially if it’s outside of your norm.

I went to my GP after soaking through a super tampon and pad every hour for a week. He couldn't have been less concerned. I went to a walk in after another fortnight. She couldn't have been less concerned.

There was a long thread on here recently about how women's medical issues aren't taken seriously.

I was going to say if this is unusual bleeding for you you need to get medical advice now. I remember that other thread, very scary.

I'm not saying you shouldn't seek help, OP. I'm still anaemic a year after my month of bleeding. Just that you might not get the level of concern from doctors that people here are showing for you.

Are you getting help now? That's way more important than your work.

You must get medical attention ASAP

Do you think you're feeling weak and dizzy due to the extreme blood loss?

TedandLola that’s terrible I had some gynae problems and was told a pad an hour was A and E. When it happened I was straight in to majors and on fluids - another lady on the ward I was admitted to had the same and had transfusions going. It’s appalling you weren’t taken seriously.

I don’t like the sound of this. Forget your boss, you need medical attention. Bleeding that much, vomiting and feeling weak and faint are worrying. Please call 111 OP.

Send a very clear text or email letting him know you’re not well enough to come in, and I’d call your GP or 111 if your bleeding is that heavy and you’re feeling faint may need checking out urgently.

Make sure you're following to correct procedure for reporting absence - if you are required to phone in, do that, you need to make sure you are squeaky clean in this. We aren't allowed to text in.

Also it’s a fair thing to rock up toA&E with - especially if not settling.

Definitely get checked out, I also remember the other thread.
Forget about work for the moment

I'd just report absence in the proper way and if necessary give the reason for not going in.

Years ago in my 20's I had a very heavy period at work(soaking through onto clothes and through heaviest pads etc) - I almost fainted at work too. I left work but told them why and took the next day off, luckily the period had got lighter by then so I was able to go back in.

Years later when I had very heavy periods and pain which required GP appointment and a scan, I ensured I told work about it so I could attend the clinic appointment etc.

Nothing wrong at all in detailing if it's 'sick' relating more to menstrual problems which aren't technically 'sick' but are more problems to do with your body which as a female you don't have much control over.