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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Off Sick - being forced to come in

209 replies

MyNameIsABCDE · 04/03/2019 09:29

I'm currently having the heaviest, most painful period of my life. I'm soaking through a tampon AND pad every hour or so and have vomited, feel very weak and faint.

I text my boss yesterday to let him know I was ill (didn't mention it was a period but just said I've been sick and dizzy) and to let him know I might not be in today. His reply was just that he needs me to come in. I text again first thing this morning saying I'm still not well but will try and come in later. Again he just said I need you to come in later.

I work in an office. He doesn't 'need' me there. The others in my team are in today and can cover anything urgent that needs to be done today.

AIBU to think that he should just let me have a day off sick and say hope you feel better soon?

OP posts:
moosesormeece · 04/03/2019 16:01

The company senior management team will then decide whether to authorise the time off at their discretion.

Are you all doctors? It seems a bit odd that senior management are spending time holding meetings about whether someone is ill enough to be allowed to not come in for a day. And frankly very undignified for the employees in question who have to submit the details of their menstrual problems/diarrhoea/vomiting bug for discussion by their colleagues. Fair enough if a particular employee is known for taking the piss, but doing this for everyone regardless of circumstances is a bit off.

Schuyler · 04/03/2019 16:07

YellowFish123 Blimey, hope you don’t treat people with disabilities or who are pregnant like this when they fall in sick..

DarlingNikita · 04/03/2019 16:13

Are you all doctors? It seems a bit odd that senior management are spending time holding meetings about whether someone is ill enough to be allowed to not come in for a day. And frankly very undignified for the employees in question who have to submit the details of their menstrual problems/diarrhoea/vomiting bug for discussion by their colleagues.

I agree. This is fucking humiliating. Who on earth do senior management think they are?

Ballbags · 04/03/2019 16:19

When you say "authorise it or not", what do you mean? If it's not authorised, do you make them come in/not pay them?

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/03/2019 16:21

He will talk to you about it when you are next in. Wtf? Glad you’re feeling a little better.

toomanykidsnotenoughme · 04/03/2019 16:22

@YellowFish123 you have got to be joking?! So, I'm assuming you have some kind of operation document with a list of acceptable / not acceptable reasons for sickness? Can you give us some examples?? Migraine? Flu? D&V?
What if you don't authorise it ad the person insists they are to ill to come in?

SaturdayNext · 04/03/2019 16:23

Your directors clearly haven't got enough to do, @Yellowfish123, if they've got time to have meetings second-guessing whether an employee is ill enough to be allowed sick leave or not. I suspect there are serious confidentiality issues if you are demanding that your employees give HR and all of your all the gory details of their illnesses for you to dissect.

I also suspect that savvy employees are adept at getting round your system. After all, you can hardly go round there and check whether they really have vomited/bled/crapped/fainted/coughed as much as they say they have.

Sakura7 · 04/03/2019 16:24

You could go to your GP anyway and get a note. No harm to get checked out, as this is not normal for you.

Stand your ground with your boss. If he gets snarky, ask would he like you bleeding all over the furniture and fainting in the office.

PiebaldHamster · 04/03/2019 16:29

I'd get your h to go to the chemist and get some transexemic acid.

flumposie · 04/03/2019 16:31

I can't understand how you think you are able to decide whether someone is allowed to be off when they state they are ill yellowfish. That's for them to decide surely Confused

IHateUncleJamie · 04/03/2019 16:33

SMT are told of the reason for the absence request, and will use this along with the employee's previous absence record and the urgency of what they had to do that day to decide whether to authorise it.

Good god. I’m not sure that’s actually lawful, is it?

Even Police Officers are granted more dignity than that. 😳 I’d tell your company to get fucked before telling HR precisely how much blood I’d passed and the size of the clots, knowing a bunch of directors would get to hear about it and decide whether I was gushing enough to be allowed a day off.

YellowFish123 · 04/03/2019 16:37

@Ballbags

If senior management decide not to authorise an absence request, the employee is given the choice of attending as normal or the case being sent to a disciplinary panel. The normal sanction the disciplinary panel will apply is instant dismissal for insubordination and breach of director's orders.

IHateUncleJamie · 04/03/2019 16:38

V good advice from @Sakura7. I would definitely get checked, @MyNameIsABCDE. Even with PCO that amount of bleeding with vomiting and dizziness is not normal. Flowers

longtimelurkerhelen · 04/03/2019 16:40

@YellowFish123

Are you in the Military?

MyNewtMyFrogMyLittleRedDog · 04/03/2019 16:43

Women's issues are NOT taken seriously at all. I have never had regular periods and after a 7-8 month break I can have a period that lasts -4 weeks and I lose around 25ml every two hours ( I use a cup). I have ad scan after scan and nothing as I am never on a period when they actually manage to get me into the sonographer.

BUT.....

I started my period on 2nd jan after 4 months and went to see the gp 2 weeks ago as I am still bleeding quite heavily. It varies between 25-50ml a day at the moment and swings between bright red clots and brown misery over a 5 day period. I am holding my breath as I am booked in for a scan tomorrow at noon and it would be just my luck that it suddenly stops tonight and I am still no closer to the answer.

It is disgusting that women are treated so appallingly over the menstrual issues.

Sallycinnamum · 04/03/2019 16:45

What a fucking horrible organisation you must work for yellowfish.

ElinoristhenewEnid · 04/03/2019 16:50

@YellowFish123 - are you Calf123 in disguise?

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 04/03/2019 16:55

Anyone else thinking that it would be really fun to be ordered in and then vomit all over Yellowfish and gang’s desk. Extra points if you manage to splash them in the face!

Thankfully I work in an office of professionals. We work hard. If we say we are ill it is assumed that we are ill. Don’t need to phone - my boss is incredibly busy so wouldn’t have time to answer a phone let alone have a meeting about my sickness. I send an email to my boss and cc a few who work in the same area as me so they know not to worry when I don’t turn up. They say “get better soon”. I do.

In 18 years I have had less than 20 days off sick.

DarlingNikita · 04/03/2019 16:56

If senior management decide not to authorise an absence request, the employee is given the choice of attending as normal or the case being sent to a disciplinary panel.

They really do have too much time on their hands.

Jaxhog · 04/03/2019 16:57

Mention the period. Men back away fast!

Hope you feel better soon.

toomanykidsnotenoughme · 04/03/2019 16:58

@YellowFish123 please can you give examples of what is acceptable/ not acceptable illness-wise? I am finding what you're saying so hard to believe that I need more details. Give us an idea of how that SLT discussion goes. Please?

YellowFish123 · 04/03/2019 17:01

@toomanykidsnotenoughme

It's not a case of having a list of 'acceptable' and 'unacceptable' illnesses. It really depends on a range of factors, including the employee's previous record and their job. What I would say is that colds, flues and migraines would not be authorised.

NeedSomeTimeInTheSunshiiine · 04/03/2019 17:03

"He said he will talk to me about it when I am next in."

I reckon he's just thinking you're having a day off because you're 'on your period.' Hmm

In your shoes I would still get the the GP before they close. That level of bleeding really should be checked out.

NeedSomeTimeInTheSunshiiine · 04/03/2019 17:07

Yellowfish - what do you do? They wouldn't authorise the FLU?! I would love to see them working with genuine, proper flu. (But I wouldn't, because I wouldn't work in an environment where I was being purposefully exposed to that.)

Somerville · 04/03/2019 17:07

What I would say is that colds, flues and migraines would not be authorised.

Bollocks. It's not lawful to make people work when they are ill. And with flu it would be impossible for them to work. you're talking out your arse.

OP hope you've sent an email to your boss. Put it out of your mind after that.