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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Off Sick - being forced to come in

209 replies

MyNameIsABCDE · 04/03/2019 09:29

I'm currently having the heaviest, most painful period of my life. I'm soaking through a tampon AND pad every hour or so and have vomited, feel very weak and faint.

I text my boss yesterday to let him know I was ill (didn't mention it was a period but just said I've been sick and dizzy) and to let him know I might not be in today. His reply was just that he needs me to come in. I text again first thing this morning saying I'm still not well but will try and come in later. Again he just said I need you to come in later.

I work in an office. He doesn't 'need' me there. The others in my team are in today and can cover anything urgent that needs to be done today.

AIBU to think that he should just let me have a day off sick and say hope you feel better soon?

OP posts:
bringincrazyback · 04/03/2019 17:48

Period pain is not an A&E problem

Did you actually read the OP all the way through?

IHateUncleJamie · 04/03/2019 17:51

Period pain is not an A&E problem

Maybe not but bleeding through a pad AND tampon every hour most certainly could be. Add in the vomiting and fainting and I would definitely suggest A&E.

ScarletBitch · 04/03/2019 17:52

@YellowFish123 the management are breaking every law in the book. Please do out them on here so we can report them.

ScarletBitch · 04/03/2019 17:56

@PoliticalBiscuit haha 😂😂😂

ScarletBitch · 04/03/2019 18:00

@bringincrazyback yes I did and it is not an A&E problem.

ScarletBitch · 04/03/2019 18:02

@IHateUncleJamie are you qualified ? If not stop sending people who could be seen by their GP down to a already overstretched A&E.

IHateUncleJamie · 04/03/2019 18:09

@ScarletBitch 1. None of your business. 2. Er - no.

HTH. Biscuit

Drum2018 · 04/03/2019 18:14

Hope it's still easing off op. I'd be sure to tell your boss that if you had come to work he'd have been getting someone in to clean the upholstery after you!! Don't let him belittle the fact that you had your period. I get heavy days and would have to change both tampon and pad every 2 hours but yours sounds dreadful altogether. I don't go too far from home on my heavy days. Tell him all the gory details - he might not be as quick to want you in if it happens again.

Hopefully your gynaecologist will be able to help when you see them.

CaptainBrickbeard · 04/03/2019 18:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

theworldistoosmall · 04/03/2019 18:18

Period pain is not an A&E problem

Really? I must have imagined being hospitalised within an hour of turning up. I must have misheard the gynae last week when he said if I am in pain go straight to a&e.

Fluffyears · 04/03/2019 18:32

When I had proper flu I was hallucinating writing, fainting and my mother had to help me walk to the loo. I was in my early twenties but couldn’t stand up properly. So in this state i’d be expected to work? I was almost hospitalised as my temperature wouldn’t come down, I was vomiting and coughing up green sludge! I was going nowhere near work.

CardsforKittens · 04/03/2019 18:33

WanderingDaffodil your company is soft too. My employer monitors us on CCTV in our homes, and if an employee as much as sneezes they send an assassin out before anyone can phone in sick. We’re all very grateful for the germ-free environment.

OP, I hope you feel better soon.

RomanyQueen1 · 04/03/2019 18:36

period pain can be a case for A&E dysmenorrhea can be quite debilitating. I had injections and tablets for the pain, medication to stop me throwing up as I couldn't keep food down.
Like the OP I was dizzy and started fainting, it can be awful.
Once sorted and controlled as much as can be it's not normally a case for A&E.

CaptainCabinets · 04/03/2019 18:41

Please seek urgent medical attention if you haven’t already OP! I’m a gynae nurse and the number of ladies we admit to the ward with heavy PV bleeding is staggering. It’s not normal to be bleeding that much. Flowers

Original poster
MyNameIsABCDE · 04/03/2019 18:51

I didn't go to A&E in the end because the bleeding has improved slightly and I've been able to control the pain a bit with painkillers. I didn't like the idea of sitting in a hospital for hours and risking leaking

OP posts:
Original poster
MyNameIsABCDE · 04/03/2019 18:52

As for the boss, I have no idea what our talk will be about tomorrow...

OP posts:
SlangBack · 04/03/2019 18:55

I hope you feel better OP. You might not feel up to much tomorrow though Sad

RomanyQueen1 · 04/03/2019 19:37

I hope you feel better soon OP, and even though the bleeding has improved do go and see your gp.
It might just be the case of medication.
I've been where you are and it's debilitating, interferes with your life and reason to see your gp. I was given tablets called Ponstan Forte and was like it from about 14 until after dc1, having kids helped a lot. Thanks

SaturdayNext · 04/03/2019 21:47

SMT are told of the reason for the absence request, and will use this along with the employee's previous absence record and the urgency of what they had to do that day to decide whether to authorise it

So if there is something urgent that they are supposed to do that day your company would not authorise an absence that otherwise would be OK? It's a case of "Sorry you're having a miscarriage/have acute appendicitis/ have compound fractures in all four limbs but you've got a deadline for that project you're doing so you'll have to come in"?

If senior management decide not to authorise an absence request, the employee is given the choice of attending as normal or the case being sent to a disciplinary panel. The normal sanction the disciplinary panel will apply is instant dismissal for insubordination and breach of director's orders.

I assume they also give the employee a large cheque in anticipation of the hefty damages the Employment Tribunal will inevitably order them to pay?

Graphista · 04/03/2019 22:35

Tedandlola is that this thread you're meaning?

https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3402449-Aibu-to-ask-you-to-tell-me-your-experiences-of-being-dismissed-by-medics-as-a-sick-woman-I-promise-to-listen

If so I started it back in October, I'm shocked by the responses I got women are far too often being fobbed off.

I too think, especially if such bleeding is unusual for you, that you need to see a dr ASAP and don't be fobbed off. It's not normal to bleed like this.

In the meantime I recommend getting some Tena pants so you can get some rest without worrying as much about leaking etc. I first used when I was prepping for a colonoscopy but having used for that kept the pack and used them occasionally when period very heavy (I have endo and even with treatment still sometimes had v heavy periods, I've since has further treatment and am now on noriday continuously)

I think the advice not to describe as a "heavy period" is actually a good idea, instead say excessive and unusual vaginal bleeding.

"I second what @TedandLola says - the nonchalence towards womens' gynae issues in primary care is appalling." I WISH it were only gynae issues. Tip of the iceberg! Seriously! It's a scandal how women are treated as patients in primary care.

Mynewtmyfrog - endo won't necessarily show on scans, have you been PROPERLY investigated for that? Would require a laparoscopy.

"Period pain is not an A&E problem" are you even a dr?! Don't be ridiculous! There are several serious conditions that can cause "period pain" that absolutely would justify an a&e visit. I've had more than a few myself and not once have I been told I was out of order for doing so - they have criticised my gps for not doing their job though! Both to me and officially.

PerpendicularVincent · 04/03/2019 22:47

Yellowfish, I call bullshit.

I imagine that someone at director level has far better things to do than decide whether or not someone having the shits has to come to work, and if they don't come in, messing around with a questionnable disciplinary.

Unlrss of course it's more about a power trip than doing the right thing.

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty · 04/03/2019 22:53

I have endometriosis and I get periods like this. I have also been blue lighted to hospital, only to discover its endo related. The pain was off the scale.

Ontheboardwalk · 04/03/2019 23:32

I agree with Flobalob to send them a picture. I had a male locum Dr that despite what the hospital had said wanted to take me off my meds and have the coil fitted instead.

I had him look at a few pictures. I’m sure he’s seen a lot in his time but im also sure it brought him round to why I was happy with what I was prescribed and why me and the hospital wanted to stay as is

TedAndLola · 05/03/2019 06:35

@Graphite Yes, that's the thread. Thank you for raising awareness of this problem - it clearly stuck with many of us.

wellhelloyou · 05/03/2019 07:07

I'm sorry you're experiencing this. For five years at the start of May every year I had exactly what you are experiencing. We're talking going through three beach towels.....No other month it was strange but I was used to it I guess. I was stupid and never got it properly checked out. I did attend a GP once and they gave me Tranexamic tablets.

This heavy bleed stopped after I had my daughter. No idea to this day why it happened. Wish you the best with everything.

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