Off Sick - being forced to come in

[MyNameIsABCDE]

I'm currently having the heaviest, most painful period of my life. I'm soaking through a tampon AND pad every hour or so and have vomited, feel very weak and faint.

I text my boss yesterday to let him know I was ill (didn't mention it was a period but just said I've been sick and dizzy) and to let him know I might not be in today. His reply was just that he needs me to come in. I text again first thing this morning saying I'm still not well but will try and come in later. Again he just said I need you to come in later.

I work in an office. He doesn't 'need' me there. The others in my team are in today and can cover anything urgent that needs to be done today.

AIBU to think that he should just let me have a day off sick and say hope you feel better soon?

Your boss cannot demand you come in. Reply and say you are not well, you are having a day's sick. Please get yourself checked out x

You need to go to a&e. Saying this as a 111 health advisor. You are feeling dizzy, vomiting and changing pad a lot.

Texting in sick is such a cop-out and not allowed where I work. You need to have an actual conversation with your boss, firstly so they are clear what's wrong with you and that you can't come in but also they can explain what's so urgent you need to go in.

Just tell him it’s a gynae problem, and need to get checked out. Hope you feel better soon.

Hope that you feel better soon OP. My GP was very cross with me when I didn't go and see him after a very very heavy period like yours- though it had been going on for a month! I called out of hours at a weekend, thinking I probably needed iron tablets and was told to sit down/lie down and call 999 when I explained about the blood loss and that I was feeling dizzy. I felt 100% different after being put on fluids.

Suggestion, don't say to the GP or A and E that you have heavy period, as you may not get the most supportive response. Say that you are bleeding copiously, and unusually.

HTH

Our HR policy means that we must actually ring. We must speak to a manager/director/HR. A text is not sufficient. And we must do that at the minimum a half hour before our shift starts. We must also do so every day of absence, until we get a certificate from a doctor stating the length of leave required.

They're assholes where I work.

I agree with others who say to call. Do so, it's always better. I would keep empathising with the work that needs doing but refusing to go in. Something along the lines of "I am sorry x is urgent but I am too unwell to work and will not be in".

Regardless, I always find it much easier to simply say "I am unwell and will not be in today". The ambiguity of 'try' and 'will see' doesn't really help anyone. It never softens the blow like we think it might. Being decisive in your language gives less room for arguing.

p.s. in case it's not clear - I would definitely NOT be going in to work with your symptoms. I would also be seeking medical help.

litluts they may well be assholes but that policy sounds standard to me?

Just call him and say you are bleeding so heavily you are worried about covering the office furniture in blood and the large fast blood loss is making you dizzy and sick which would obviously be very dangerous both getting to work and whilst in work. - hopefully stop further questions

@litluts arseholes how? Because you can't send one cowardly text at the start of the week and take the whole week off?

HR person here. You are perfectly entitled to a day off sick. It also sounds like you need to get checked out by a doctor, so get that organised. I had horrendous gynae probs so I know how you are feeling (I had to have surgery in the end). Be kind to yourself

I know it's standard, but in some cases it's not reasonably practicable. Say for example you've been awake all night and finally drop off from morphine they've given you or something, are you supposed to wake from the dead?

OP How often are you having to change your pad? Is this unusual bleeding for you? Will you call 111 to keep us happy?

You really should not go in as it looks like you were faking it in the first place. Stand your ground and say that you have serious problems with passing out and it would be dangerous for you to come to work.

I'm a female surgical/gynae nurse. If you're soaking through pads within an hour you need to get seen. We would be bringing you to our emergency clinic with bleeding like that. Not to panic you, but you need to get checked out not worrying about your boss.

I was so ill one time, I literally couldn't dial 111. I had to get DH to dial the digits for me and speak. That came on over a period of 10 hours with rapid deterioration. Between calling 111 and the ambulance arriving 4 hours later, I was almost dead. They actually couldn't believe that I was still conscious as all my stats suggested that I would be unconscious. How the hell are you supposed to call into work in that state?

Morphine?! Don't be ridiculous, most people off sick are not on morphine. And if they were, they'd have a GP note which would negate the need to call in every day.

I went to my GP after soaking through a super tampon and pad every hour for a week. He couldn't have been less concerned. I went to a walk in after another fortnight. She couldn't have been less concerned.

same experience here
No one gives a monkey about heavy period - and I mean periods bad enough to make a miscarriage feel like a breeze.

You need to insist loudly, and in the meantime I would strongly recommend acupuncture

I second what @TedandLola says - the nonchalence towards womens' gynae issues in primary care is appalling.

OP: when you go to your GP, make sure you take a print out of the NICE guidelines on Menorrhagia. And highlight the part where they say that it has a serious detrimental effect on quality of life and should not simply be tolerated.

And tell your boss to EFF OFF. Politely. "Sorry, I really am not well enough to come in this afternoon. I will let you know how I am first thing tomorrow".

(and I would also recommend a baby nappy, maternity pads and heavy towels on your bed so you can get some sleep without waking up in a blood bath)

God it makes me so bloody angry to hear this. I am so so glad I live in an area that has a self refer emergency gynae clinic. Its literally a life safer.

When you see doctor get certificate for work, they can't argue with that

How the hell are you supposed to call into work in that state?

Surely, in that state, regardless of policy, your DH could call for you and say "litluts won't be in because they are almost dead". It would take an asshole to argue you should have called from the ambulance stretcher.

Not quite the same thing as setting an alarm for 8am to make a 5 min call to the office to let them know you have the flu and won't be in.

Yes, well then why have a stupid policy that doesn't encompass all possible illness scenarios.
Most people will make their way to work unless they literally have a half severed head and are in hospital.
Why be so stupid as to say that you will be subject to disciplinary procedures unless you ring between a 2 hour slot! You could be unconscious!

I've had the expreience you are going through. Definitely time to get yourself to A & E. I had a large fibroid that needed meidcation and ultimately a surgery to remove it.

While I was bleeding heavily i was severely anaemic. My count for whatever is was shoul have been approx 15-18. Mine was 4 point something. Doctor t hosptial told me i should not be driving and he was suprised i was even abel to walk around. Luckily for me my employer was very devent and even apid me for the time i had off work after surgery (7 weeks). You are NBU. Get yourself some medical help today. Good luck.

Some people live alone. I do now.