Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you think of this text?

189 replies

Chelseajunior · 02/03/2019 17:19

Background:
Me and dp have been together 11 years, 2 dd's.
Have just found a sent message on his phone to a number I dont know saying 'I'm in car park with Gemma'.

I have never heard of a Gemma.

I've tried calling the number on withheld but switched off.

What's the best way to challenge him on this? He's at the gym and left his phone at home. I need to know what to say when he returns in an hour.

Shall I just come out with it and put him on the spot and say 'who's gemma' as soon as he walks in?

Name changed and sorry for typo's - I'm panicking!

OP posts:
DeadBod · 02/03/2019 17:22

To clarify, did he send the message? If so, when was it and where was he supposed to be.

TyneTeas · 02/03/2019 17:23

When was it sent, where would he have been at the time?

TokyoSushi · 02/03/2019 17:25

Could Gemma be somebody from work? I'd say it would be more suspicious if he was texting a random Gemma than if he was telling somebody else he was with her...

GottenGottenGotten · 02/03/2019 17:25

'challenge him'?

Do you have reason to suspect he's up to something?

What time of day was it?would he have vav at work?

Could he have been out for a smoke, with another colleague?

If something untoward was going on, do you think he would be texting someone else?

Cranky17 · 02/03/2019 17:25

Go through the rest of his phone, take screen shots, look in deleted photos and the frequently visited places (he might not have turned it off)

Original poster
Chelseajunior · 02/03/2019 17:25

Yes he sent the message to someone else stating that he was with Gemma.

It was at 1.30am.
He was out in town with his friends.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 02/03/2019 17:25

Is he actually at the gym? Do you have any way of finding that out, eg driving past and seeing whether his car's there?

mynameiscalypso · 02/03/2019 17:25

I would think absolutely nothing about it at all.

furrybadger · 02/03/2019 17:26

I would definitely ask him but I would drop it into conversation and say something and ask if he knows anyone called Gemma, see what his reply is

sewingbeezer · 02/03/2019 17:26

Don't do anything.
Gemma could be a work colleague or could be his floozie but you need to bide your time and collect more evidence before you confront him.
Most men having affairs are very good at lying and making up plausible explanations when initially questioned.
If it's nothing, then you won't find anything else but if he's playing around the evidence will slowly mount up.

Nellieelephant · 02/03/2019 17:26

Can you keep trying to call the number until someone picks up?

Does he work with anyone called Gemma? Maybe giving them a lift to a meeting or some other work thing?

Have you seen if he has any messages on his phone to the number?

Praiseyou · 02/03/2019 17:26

A work colleague that he was going to a meeting with?

Is there a reason you jumped straight to the conclusion that he's cheating? Is there a backstory?

HollowTalk · 02/03/2019 17:27

So at 1.30 am he was "in the car park with Gemma"? That's problem number 1.

Second potential problem is who was he texting, whose number wasn't stored on his phone?

Does he have any history of infidelity or general untrustworthiness?

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon · 02/03/2019 17:27

Op you need to turn detective. ... ASAP.

wellhonestly · 02/03/2019 17:27

COuld it be predictive text for "gym"?

DeadCertain · 02/03/2019 17:28

Could he and whoever Gemma is not just have got separated from the rest of their friends on the night out and they were meeting up again? Something like that would be my first thought if you don't have any other reason to be suspicious.

Original poster
Chelseajunior · 02/03/2019 17:28

He's not currently working.
He's studying at college.
He has a cheap £20 phone so no history or deleted stuff can be retrieved.

Yes challenge him because ive never came across some thing like this before with him

OP posts:
Chloemol · 02/03/2019 17:28

If he was out with friends is Gemma one? Or is she the partner of one?

M4J4 · 02/03/2019 17:29

1.30am is a bit suspect.

Is it a group of male friends he's out with?

ChakiraChakra · 02/03/2019 17:29

If it was 1.30am and he was drunk it could mean anyways anybody! Did you not see any incoming messages from that number?

M4J4 · 02/03/2019 17:29

Are you paying for everything as he's not working?

Omzlas · 02/03/2019 17:30

Any other suspicious behaviour? Why were you looking on his phone to start with? Does he have form for this?

Nellieelephant · 02/03/2019 17:30

It sounds like Gemma is a mate and he was texting another mate when having a night out.

Maybe the group got split up and they were trying to meet up again?

If Gemma was a ONS or similar then would he use her name when texting a mate? If she was a ONS then the mate probably wouldn’t even know who Gemma was. It sounds much more plausible that Gemma is mates with them all.

slappinthebass · 02/03/2019 17:30

It being half 1 in the morning on a night out is pretty relevant information. Does he usually only go out with 'lads'? or does he just exclude you? I always find the lads only night out dynamic very odd and toxic. Does he smoke?

ChakiraChakra · 02/03/2019 17:32

Urgh ^ example of predictive text fail! It could mean ANYTHING (because he's drunk and predictive text is mean)

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.