What would you think of this text?

[Chelseajunior]

Background:
Me and dp have been together 11 years, 2 dd's.
Have just found a sent message on his phone to a number I dont know saying 'I'm in car park with Gemma'.

I have never heard of a Gemma.

I've tried calling the number on withheld but switched off.

What's the best way to challenge him on this? He's at the gym and left his phone at home. I need to know what to say when he returns in an hour.

Shall I just come out with it and put him on the spot and say 'who's gemma' as soon as he walks in?

Name changed and sorry for typo's - I'm panicking!

Wtaf?

Why were you reading his messages and trying to call someone?

I’d go ballistic if my husband did that.

Sounds like texting a dealer maybe

So he's a student... Gemma probably a fellow student I'd assume.

He only smokes when drinking
He was out with two friends who I don't like due to them always cheating on their dp's.
I've took a photo of his phone on mine and saved the numbers I don't recognise to see if they will show a pic on what's app

Save the number in your contacts, then go onto WhatsApp, have a look, see if you recognise them from their profile photo.

That way you’ll probably find it’s one of his mates he’s text. As for Gemma, you’re gonna have to ask him, I think.

I’d think nothing of that message then I don’t search my dh phone....

Just say I was looking at your phone and what’s this message? It sounds like nothing to me so just ask him? You can’t ask without saying you’ve been looking at the phone so when you find out this is perfectly innocent your going to look a bit daft

To the poster who asking why I'm looking through his phone.. We always leave our phones lying around and have no problem using each others phones for calls texts etc..

I just happened to come across the text as I was sending one

I’d ask him op

Agree with RJ. Stop snooping. I’d leave someone if I found them going through my phone and questioning stuff. If you don’t trust him, break up. You’ve got no right to invade his privacy like this

I would also be very suspicious. However, I don't think he's going to tell you the truth if you ask who Gemma is. So is there any point in asking?

Go on his fab page and look for a Gemma?

@PinkHeart5914 and say it turns out he's shagging about, should she feel daft then?

I would go out immediately and when he comes home and texts you to ask where you are you reply with:
"I'm in the car park with Gemma...."

Why would you use each other's phone? That's an excuse for your snooping, looks innocent to me. You don't look at sent messages unless you're snooping.

Chelsea are you pregnant?

Tell him, your friend is having a baby and contemplating calling the baby Genma. Start a casual conversation ref, names for babies and people you know. I know I've been put off by some potential names for babies as I've known people with those names who have put me off
Just see if he says, I know a Gemma and............

It's not snooping lol
It's called using each others phone and coming across a suspicious text.

We are very open with our phones (maybe you should be too lol)

I'm obviously reading into something thats not there then.

Thank you to the helpful posters x

I would assume someone else had sent the message.

My friend did this just last week, her phone had died and she text her husband from my phone.

All these women going through their partners phone = coercive / controlling to me ( exactly the same behaviour as abusive men who then find something to get pissed off about). He’s mentioned another person in a text to a third person. Is this the sum total of the suspicions against him?

On it's own it doesn't say anything at all. Maybe Gemma was part of the group and they popped out for a bit to smoke or wait for the taxi.

If you've really no problem going through eachothers' phone then you simply tell him you've seen the text and ask him what it's about.

Who are the friends he was out with? Are they from college? If so then as pp said it's highly likely she another student.

It's one text and he's not texting this Gemma person so why would you imagine he's involved with her somehow?

Also, I would imagine that if there were texts on his mobile that were going to lead you to find out he was having an affair he would make sure you didn't have access to it.

Probably better all round to stop snooping and jumping to conclusions.

I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where there was a requirement to ‘use each other’s phones’. There is no need.

Thing is this man op says has no issues with her looking at his phone so if he was shagging around I think he would of been very stupid to leave the text on his phone & leave his phone behind today. Yes it’s possible but unlikely

I just think suggesting that he is shagging around based on a 6 word text that says nothing strange is ridiculous

Seriously OP, just say you were sending a text on his phone and saw the text and say do I know Gemma? Your adults and nothing from what you’ve put on here looks suspicious so just talk to him

Unless you have any other reason to suspect infidelity I wouldn’t think anything of it.

He’s out with his mates, one of them arranged to meet another group of mates. Gemma is a smoker your OH bums a smoke off Gemma and they head out to the car park. Mate wonders where they are. OH answers.

It’s the kind of thing that would happen on most nights out.

If he was cheating and knows you have access to his phone he would have deleted the message.