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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you think of this text?

189 replies

Chelseajunior · 02/03/2019 17:19

Background:
Me and dp have been together 11 years, 2 dd's.
Have just found a sent message on his phone to a number I dont know saying 'I'm in car park with Gemma'.

I have never heard of a Gemma.

I've tried calling the number on withheld but switched off.

What's the best way to challenge him on this? He's at the gym and left his phone at home. I need to know what to say when he returns in an hour.

Shall I just come out with it and put him on the spot and say 'who's gemma' as soon as he walks in?

Name changed and sorry for typo's - I'm panicking!

OP posts:
YoungChrone · 03/03/2019 07:52

Ok I know the mystery has been solved but I just have to say:

  1. Men who cheat don't leave their phones at home from the gym for their partners to look at.

  2. If the message says "in the car park with Gemma" it suggests nothing untoward. He was obviously texting a third person so unless he was going to have a 3way then he was clearly letting someone know where he was. Most people wouldn't be blasé about an affair in that way.

  3. her using his phone to text a dealer - she may have written it as if she was him so it made more sense that she was texting off a strange number.

  4. my husband has loads of messages to random numbers he hasn't bothered to save. Why? No idea. I suspect knowing him it's because he can't be arsed to save them and they are work acquaintances rather than friends. I also have a few texts from unknown numbers for people like the patio man etc.

Bottom line- why is OP getting so completely het up when she acknowledges they have free access to each other's phones and she has never experienced anything like this before? Chill OP.

snapcrap · 03/03/2019 08:12

Is it pearl clutchers day out or something?

SparkiePolastri · 03/03/2019 08:12

DH and I leave our phones lying around. Doesn't everyone? Confused

We don't go into, or use each other's, though. Why would I text my friends from his phone instead of just picking up and using my own?

Going into someone else's sent items is just being a nosy bastard. No two ways about it.

SparkiePolastri · 03/03/2019 08:15

Absolutely snapcrap - having a great day out thanks - looking down my nose at jobless deadbeats scoring weed in a car park with randoms at 1.30 in the morning. Thanks for asking.

Bluntness100 · 03/03/2019 08:33

Is there two Gemma's then? One who used his phone to text and who was in the car park with the second Gemma and your partner?

DroningOn · 03/03/2019 08:50

If the story was this:

"my wife if 11 years and 2 kids doesn't work, is back at college retraining and has a lot of new friends. She's out at the gym now and I've been snooping using her phone and found a text to someone I don't recognise saying "I'm in the car park with James".

I've called the number which isn't listed and there's no answer. I've taken photos of her phone for evidence and I think I'll search fir the number on my WhatsApp. I'm intending asking her outright when she gets in. She's got no history of anything like this but I'm panicked."

The majority of postings on this thread would be entirely different.......

yma123 · 03/03/2019 09:46

@DroningOn so true! I can't believe people are calling the OP's partner a "jobless deadbeat" and a "loser" for buying drugs when he has no job, when the OP has clearly already said that he's in college, and has also said that she has no problem with the odd spliff, and it's hardly the crime of the century!

Bluntness100 · 03/03/2019 10:04

Exactly! He needs to get his story straigh

Usually I'd agree with you, but as the op seems to think it's entirely logical for Gemma to say she was in the car park with Gemma, I think there isn't much need in this situation,,,,🤣

Drogosnextwife · 03/03/2019 11:36

Is your DH a 19 year old student OP? I can't believe you bought that story he spun you.

MrSnowmansCarrotStickNose · 03/03/2019 11:55

Well that was not the outcome I was expecting

GunpowderGelatine · 03/03/2019 12:17

The majority of postings on this thread would be entirely different

And what reaction do you think he'd get if he said "oh it's ok she was just texting her dealer at 1.30 while her children lay asleep in bed"

Drogosnextwife · 03/03/2019 12:26

Yeah I don't think they would be that different to be fair 😂

diabeticsanon · 03/03/2019 12:36

and coming up next on the jeremy kyle show today...

Tink1990 · 03/03/2019 12:44

Clear as mud lol. That made me giggle. Whilst this whole thing would make me question a lot, I'm glad you have solved it OP, entirely your choice that you are happy with the outcome.

GunpowderGelatine · 03/03/2019 12:47

I do wish the OP would come back and clarify how many Gemma's there are

SuperSara · 03/03/2019 13:11

Cranky17
Go through the rest of his phone, take screen shots, look in deleted photos and the frequently visited places (he might not have turned it off)

Nellieelephant
Can you keep trying to call the number until someone picks up?

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon
Op you need to turn detective. ... ASAP.

Malibucyprus
Save the number in your contacts, then go onto WhatsApp, have a look, see if you recognise them from their profile photo.
I would want to know about the phone number
And have you put that number on Google and on Facebook?

Just imagine if a man thought this was appropriate.

It’s emotionally abusive and coercive, and yet sooo many MNers seem to think it’s perfectly ok to control their partners like this,

Disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

diabeticsanon · 03/03/2019 13:11

gemma collins ? Grin

Chelseajunior · 03/03/2019 19:41

Sorry to ruin the haters weekend.

I haven't had time to post as I have children and haven't got the time to post every 2 mins.

I suggest some of you get a life or attend to your children or even get a hobby!

Thread is now closed as haven't got time to read through all replies.

Thanks to all the helpful people though Halo

OP posts:
XiCi · 03/03/2019 19:48

Ah, was just about to come on and say sounds like a text to a dealer but you beat me to it. Glad you got to the bottom of it OP.

AnyFucker · 03/03/2019 20:04

You do not decide when the thread is closed, Chelsea

JaneEyre07 · 03/03/2019 20:18

I think this is the weirdest best thread I've ever read on here Grin

OP isn't outraged her DH is out at night buying drugs but is outraged at a message on his phone.

Morgan12 · 03/03/2019 20:46

He's lying. It's so obvious.

Bluntness100 · 03/03/2019 21:50

Thread is now closed as haven't got time to read through all replies

Shit...why can I still post on it then? 🤣

GunpowderGelatine · 03/03/2019 23:03

Thread is now closed as haven't got time to read through all replies

£5 says that the OP is the admin of a Facebook mummy group that has 'hun' in its title

FoxSquadKitten · 03/03/2019 23:26

.....it's still open.......

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