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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by people adjusting my DDs name

272 replies

Blackcelebration73 · 20/02/2019 04:12

My DD is called Megan. We call her Megan at home.
Other people seem to think it’s ok to change it to other versions:
Meg
Meggy
Megs
Her name is Megan and that is what we call her at home.
Aibu to think people should just call her by the name her parents use & not make names up?! It really bloody irritates me

OP posts:
lottielady · 20/02/2019 04:14

Chill.

Nothininmenoggin · 20/02/2019 04:21

No YANBU it would annoy me too OP. Megan is a lovely name. My sons name gets shortened and it's annoying so I get it.

Pemba · 20/02/2019 04:24

Calling her by a clear diminutive of her actual name, eg Meg, is just people being friendly, and could be a term of endearment. So yes, chill for goodness sake.

Can remember the Hyacinth Bucket-like mother of a school friend who always made a point of referring to her daughter as 'Elizabeth' and pretended not to know who our mate Lizzie was! Uptight and ridiculous.

FenellaMaxwell · 20/02/2019 04:31

Meg as a diminutive for Megan is hardly making names up? If you pick a name with an obvious shortening then I’m afraid you have to expect that people will probably use it. Your DD may also use it when she’s older.

kateandme · 20/02/2019 04:36

its a term of endearment shortening someone name.friendly.
there is something lovely when someone calls you by a shortened name for people.its acceptance and warmth.
I understand you want her to be Megan.but others cant be asked to go along with that by force.if you keep using it it migjt just happen anyway.especailly at school they usually ask what they liked to be called so she will get to choose then.

HennyPennyHorror · 20/02/2019 04:37

She's her own person and once she begins school, you won't have a say. People do it to my DD too. Her name is Rose but she's "Rosie" at school...I don't like that name at all but have accepted she's happy to be called that.

It's normal.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 20/02/2019 04:38

If it bothers you so much correct them when the call her anything else.
When shes old enough to understand thought it should be HER choice what she wants to be called, and you would be very unreasonable to insist on her full name if she herself prefers a shortened version. It is her name, not yours!
I speak with experience on this, my parents gave me a name with a good 4 or 5 abbreviations so there was bound to be one i liked. I've used this for over 20 years and family STILL insist on using a different one that i hate despite telling them every time. It just makes them look incredibly rude, especially since i adhere to only using the full name of one as she hates the shortening, and the spelling choice of the others abbreviation.
You nevr know, your daughter may grow up and decide she doesn't like the name at all and pick a totally random name or nickname to go by instead.

Purplecatshopaholic · 20/02/2019 04:43

Bit of a first world problem - chill. If she is happy with various abbreviations then its fine

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 20/02/2019 04:51

I'm a Megan. I get called all sorts depending on which social group I'm in. You don't own your child's name and she is her own person. It's a good thing people shorten it as it means they have their own relationship with her outside of you.

NutElla5x · 20/02/2019 04:53

Oh get over yourself. You don't own your daughter,her name or other people's free will, so you call her what you want at home, and others will call her what they want elsewhere and there's fuck all you can about it.

DroningOn · 20/02/2019 04:53

What's your dad's feeling about it.

If she's OK with it then YABU

Jaspermcsween · 20/02/2019 04:55

There is no way you can really stop people shortening her name.

TheDarkPassenger · 20/02/2019 05:00

If you didn’t like the name meg you reeeeeeeeally shouldn’t have called your child megan

Monty27 · 20/02/2019 05:01

PFB? You'll be calling her even worse through time possibly Grin

youknowmedontyou · 20/02/2019 05:02

Hmmmm not sure Megan was a good idea if you don't like the shortening, it's going to happen.

Obi73 · 20/02/2019 05:28

First world problems.

PhilomenaButterfly · 20/02/2019 05:30

When she's older she'll decide what she wants to be called.

StoppinBy · 20/02/2019 05:32

Our youngest is officially a lengthened version of the name we actually call him, I can't stand it when people lengthen it to the full version (I don't like it but agreed to officially call him that but use the shortened version). If it someone I will rarely see I let it go, people we see all the time get corrected.

My daughter on the other hand we use her full name and if someone shortens it, it doesn't bother me, she will pick her own nickname one day anyway :-)

MissCharleyP · 20/02/2019 05:32

I find this attitude a bit weird TBH. My name has lots of things it can be shortened to, I dislike one and let people know what I prefer to be called. My ex was like this with his (secondary age) son. Name was Robert, known as Rob by friends, if any ever rang for him, ex would make a point of shouting “Robert, phone!” or “Yes, ROBERT is in.” Even though said child had no issue and preferred his friends to call him that.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/02/2019 05:33

Oh dear you're going to have a hard time in future.
She's going to be called variations on her name throughout her life, so you probably need to relax a bit over it now, get used to it.

Someone I know called their son Tobias and refused to countenance anyone calling him Toby - until he got to school and called himself Toby, so now everyone apart from his parents call him Toby.

Your daughter, when she is old enough, will pick her own name choice and which diminuitives she will respond to.

NerrSnerr · 20/02/2019 05:35

How old is she? My daughter has been telling everyone what she wants to be called (the long version of her name) since she was about 3. Your daughter will be able choose sooner than you think.

FlagFish · 20/02/2019 05:36

This is why people always tell you to think about whether you like the usual nicknames when you post on the baby names board. Don't choose a name unless you like the nicknames too!

NoKnownFather · 20/02/2019 05:37

OP lazy people will always take the easy option without any regard to the child or parents, it shows they are rude and insulting without any thought for other people.

My name can be shortened, but even though I was a very shy child, was taught to tell people 'once' (politely) that my name is xxx and I will not answer if you call me anything else. After that one warning, I was not to reply further until they called me by my correct name and it worked.

Even today as an older adult new people I meet think they have the right to shorten my name to 'their' version, so I still tell them politely my name is xxx and leave it at that. If they continue, I just ignore them and very soon they get the message.

Over the years I have lost a couple of friends but they weren't true friends anyway. In fact I turned the tables on one of them and shortened her name.......now did that get a response?? She didn't like it at all and let me know in no uncertain terms....BUT...she continued to shorten my name!!! Some people are just so thick!!

Sadly you need to teach DD at an early age to speak up and be strong with her message.

Flowers for your DD

Skittlesandbeer · 20/02/2019 05:41

Be greatful she has friends, who think of her with ‘pet names’. It’s a compliment to her, and could be a comfort to you if you let it.

So many parents these days seem to name their kids WITH a nickname, as though they’re worried no-one will do it naturally. I still ask, just to be bolshy. ‘Oh his name is Max? How lovely! Maxim, Maximilian, or Maxwell?’ Grin

I guess they’ll add Meaghan to the mix now, huh?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 20/02/2019 05:48

If she's old enough, what does your DD call herself?