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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by people adjusting my DDs name

272 replies

Blackcelebration73 · 20/02/2019 04:12

My DD is called Megan. We call her Megan at home.
Other people seem to think it’s ok to change it to other versions:
Meg
Meggy
Megs
Her name is Megan and that is what we call her at home.
Aibu to think people should just call her by the name her parents use & not make names up?! It really bloody irritates me

OP posts:
ShadyLady53 · 20/02/2019 09:35

And bang on cue, I’ve just heard someone running down the corridor shouting “HELL? HELLLLLLL? HELL! For fuck’s sake, Helena, are you deaf?!”

Angry

I’m pretty sure she’s one of my undergrads and has another 2.5 years to endure being called hell or accused of being deaf Hmm.

emilybrontescorsett · 20/02/2019 09:36

Grandmother!!!= Heard that.

missbattenburg · 20/02/2019 09:40

My own name is 2-3 syllables long, depending on how pronounced. People shorten it in all sorts of ways all the time. They also mispronounce it occasionally and misspell it more often then get it right.

I couldn't find a single shit to give about any of it. It's clear they mean me, so fine.

The idea of refusing to answer them if they don't say the full name is, to my ears, the most ridiculous load of old cod.

cantfindname · 20/02/2019 09:41

YABU. My ex used to do this and it drove me mad. People he had met two minutes ago and he would shorten or change their name. I think it is rude. If people like their name shortened, as I do, then they will be quick to offer it, otherwise their 'proper' name should be used.

QueenieInFrance · 20/02/2019 09:41

More importantly, I'm not I'm control of other people and what they do. Came as quite a shock to me too, but there you have it.

Dangerous idea there.
Does it also imply that you just have accept whatever other people want/do? So if someone wants to have sex with you but you don’t, as you can’t control them, you need to just accept It?

Imo this is an issue with boundaries.
If the person wants to be called XXX, you shouod respect them and their boundaries and call them like this. Not whatever you have chosen. And yes you DO have a right to say NO. Why on Earth shouldnt you?? Confused

cantfindname · 20/02/2019 09:41

And that should have said 'YANBU'

DarklyDreamingDexter · 20/02/2019 09:42

Whatever your call her, people will always shorten or give nicknames to people, whatever their name is. Unless you have a very short name like Jo, somewone will always shorten it - (or lengthen it, come to think of it, e.g. Joey. I know someone who's daughter is actually called Ellie but people often wrongly lengthen it to Ellen or Eleanor.) Has no one ever called you by a nickname or diminutive? Just chill, it's just the way it is!

missbattenburg · 20/02/2019 09:43

Bloody hell queenie what are you on?

Understanding we don't control other people =/= having to let them f*ck you

Widowodiw · 20/02/2019 09:46

No you do not accept a name can be shortened just because it can be!!!! My daughter is Victoria and everyone said “oh it will get shortened to Vicky” it doesn’t! There’s 1 girl in her class who calls her Vicky and that’s it on the whole 7 years. This girl only gets away with it as I’m sure she does it on purpose to wind me up 🤣🤣 we also taught her that her name was Victoria not Vicky and correct anyone.
But in all honesty it’s hasnt been an issue at all.

anitagreen · 20/02/2019 09:47

I think you just got to accept that people will shorten names, My mums name is Claire and we call her Claireybell or Beef One as she loves a beef roast

wellingtontoots · 20/02/2019 09:47

I'm a Megan and this has literally never even crossed my mind. I wasn't a fan of smegma as a teen for obvious reasons!!

The one thing that really boils my piss is everyone now calling me Meghan since Meghan Markle came on the scene.

Everyone spells my name that way now and some even call me "may-gan" Angry it's MEGAN

SmarmyMrMime · 20/02/2019 09:50

DS has a full traditional name and that's what he's known as at home as well as pet versions of it that naturally evolved. But not the obvious short version.

Obvious short version is now taking over at school. I help with his class and hear it in action. He was named after his DGM so the obvious short version plus surname is his DGMs name. I obviously knew that when I named him, but hearing it in reality is mildly jarring as it makes me think of MiL.

I don't say anything, because it's a natural thing and there are so many short 3, 4, 5 letter names now with very few children actually being named and called anything 6 letters or longer that people do just shorten it. DS knows his full name and is happy to be that at home. Now he's in school he can decide what he wants to be, where.

I found when doing registers for the first time (secondary) that it was very rare for pupils to insist on the longer version of their name (except double barrells where they were very polarised in either insisting upon or loathing the second name).

sunshinelollipopsrainbows · 20/02/2019 09:51

Nicknames are often to do with familiarity and affection. I think it's nice. Keep calling her Megan but I wouldn't begrudge what others call her. It's part of having a kid and something most people consider when picking their names.

WinterfellWench · 20/02/2019 09:51

@Blackcelebration73

YANBU to be annoyed. My 2 used to get theirs shortened too, and like your lass, they only have 2 syllables! So Emily and Lily was shortened to Em and Lil. I used to get pissed off about it, but realised after a few years that there was sodall I could do about it. The childminder did it, the teachers, the other kids parents, the doctors and nurses.... etc...

Weirdly, since they hit adulthood/went to uni/hit their 20's, people call them Emily and Lily again!

Probably best to just go with it, because there is nothing you can do about it.

Megan is a sweet name, but yeah, it will get shortened to Meg. Megs is annoying though.

(Not my kids real names obvs!) ^

Cheeeeislifenow · 20/02/2019 09:53

My son's name is Ruan we call him
Rooster
Rooster booster
Ruanington
Roo roo buttz
Roo
Spoony
Spoonington
Ruany Spoony
Boost

You'd hate us!! Op she will choose what she like anyway. Surely when picking her name it's obvious people will change it to Meg?

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 20/02/2019 09:55

I've only ever let my granddad call me a shortened version of my name.

Since he died, I hate anyone else doing it.

adiposegirl2 · 20/02/2019 09:55

Tell your daughter not to answer to anything other than Megan. People will soon get the message.

liverbird10 · 20/02/2019 09:58

This sounds like my MIL, who has a conniption fit every time someone calls her Precious Youngest Son (37) by the diminutive version of his name.

Thing is, he's shortened it since he was 6, and it's the name he has always used when introducing himself to people.

Pffft.

MaMaMaMySharona · 20/02/2019 10:02

My brother and I still laugh about a mother at his school who insisted her son was called Christopher and not Chris (as all his teachers and friends called him). Don't be that parent.

Pernickity1 · 20/02/2019 10:02

Ugh I hate when people get all offended by this! I shorten or lengthen the names of many people close to me, and they do the same to me. It’s nice! It means they probably really like your daughter. Get a grip. You call her what you like but you can’t control what other people call her so let it go.

Pernickity1 · 20/02/2019 10:04

Tell your daughter not to answer to anything other than Megan. People will soon get the message.

That’s rubbish advice. It will alienate the child and make her look like a precocious brat. Plus I doubt she cares so why put that on her?!

Original poster
Blackcelebration73 · 20/02/2019 10:04

Blimey- thanks for all your comments.

DD is 6 and it irritates her too- she likes her name & quite often corrects people herself.

I am definitely not a controlling Hyacinth bucket type Grin - I get what everyone is saying about it being something we need to get used to etc. I am not trying to control my child AT ALL!

It doesn’t stop it irritating me though- I chose the name as we are a welsh family and we really like it and it’s common in wales. The other option was Seren which is welsh for Star so I assume that would have been Sez or Ser or something 😂

OP posts:
bananafish · 20/02/2019 10:04

I have a name which, like most names, can be easily shortened. My mother hated it being shortened and taught me to correct people every single time they did it.

I don't like it either. It's not how I introduce myself and it's irritating when folk call me by another name. It's not 'friendly' - it's rude.

Oblomov19 · 20/02/2019 10:05

All names get shortened to their shortest possible version, at school. Surely you expected this? You can't control it.

Lookingforadvice123 · 20/02/2019 10:05

YABU! Children (and adults) will always find a way to shorten/nickname the name of a friend. Even if you'd called her just "Meg" on her birth certificate she probably would be "Meggy" to some. It's an endearment thing. My husband is James and he gets Jim, Jimbo, or a shortened version of his surname. So what.