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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be irritated by people adjusting my DDs name

272 replies

Blackcelebration73 · 20/02/2019 04:12

My DD is called Megan. We call her Megan at home.
Other people seem to think it’s ok to change it to other versions:
Meg
Meggy
Megs
Her name is Megan and that is what we call her at home.
Aibu to think people should just call her by the name her parents use & not make names up?! It really bloody irritates me

OP posts:
ALemonyPea · 20/02/2019 08:22

Does she like the shortened version?

I hate my name being shortened, yet people still do it. Don't mind close friends and family, but everyone else, just plain rude, especially when I introduce myself using my full name.

thegreylady · 20/02/2019 08:23

My dd is Joanna. When she was little lots of people insisted on calling her Joanne. She used to say , very firmly, “A it’s JoannA” every time. Now of course she is Jo.

Hermagsjesty · 20/02/2019 08:27

I think YABU and a bit controlling. I don’t think parents get to control what people call thier kid. Friends like to make up thier own names for each other as part of building a relationship - same goes for other adults involved in your child’s life. If DD herself doesn’t like any of the versions that’s different and up to her to tell people so.

buttyblahblah · 20/02/2019 08:29

My daughter objected to a common shortening of her name at nursery, so probably when she was 3. She still doesn't like that shortened erosion but will accept lots of other, weirder versions.

I had to look like "that" parent correcting all the staff but it really upset her.

areyoureallysaying · 20/02/2019 08:30

My oldest boy has a name that has an obvious shortening think Samuel to Sam the younger one has a 1 syllable name without any obvious short so guess what he’s ended up with a completely made up lengthened name !
I’m a teacher at Primary and I quite frequently end up giving the kids in my class a nickname some will say they don’t like it (so I the. Try and refrain) but most of them love it and some get a bit miffed if they haven’t been given one
Nicknames (unless they are cruel) are usually terms of endearment
And for the record the Meg in our family is known as McMeggles !

KipperTheFrog · 20/02/2019 08:30

My parents insisted i would always be the full version of my name. It got shortened at school, and now as an adult I'm back to the full version. You can't control what other people call her, only what you call her.
Both my DD's have 2 syllable names. We call them by the full name, always have. I'm surprised DD1's hasn't been shortened yet, but the nursery staff often call DD2 a shortened version of her name. I don't mind, but I don't use it.

BearSoFair · 20/02/2019 08:32

I think YABU when they're using names that are a common shortened version, it has to be expected. As it goes my DD was very nearly called Megan but I hate 'Meg' so we didn't use it in the end as I know that by the time she was at school that's what everyone would be calling her.

And if your username comes from the Depeche Mode album, very good choice!

SayNoToCarrots · 20/02/2019 08:35

Another one here with a MIL who doesn't like it when I use the name her son introduced himself to me as!

My dd is called Lyla. Someone at nursery called her Lies the other day. 😂

I don't agree that you can't control what other people call her, but you can't control what she chooses to be called when she gets older.

NCjustforthisthread · 20/02/2019 08:37

Jesus Christ - this is a first world country problem! My nickname is Jim. My name doesn’t even start with J. Chill the fuck out op.

BarbedBloom · 20/02/2019 08:37

While she is young it is fine to correct people, but as everyone has said, as she gets older it will be up to her. My mother still uses my full name, but no one else does and she gets annoyed when she sees people using the nickname on FB. Grin

My MIL also uses my H’s full name and hates that I don’t but that was how he introduced himself and how everyone else knows him too.

People always give nicknames, even when it doesn’t seem possible.

QueenieInFrance · 20/02/2019 08:39

Honestly? Sometimes I regret to have chosen a name that can be shorten for dc1.
Everyone, I mean everyone including the teachers, think it’s ok to shorten his name. WHY???
If I chose to call him xxx, it’s not for him to be called yyy. Otherwise that’s what I would have done.

People thinking that it’s an ok thing to do maybe should also ask themselves if they are being polite, or hurtful to the other people. If the owner of the name is actually OK with the shorten version of it.
FWIW it’s so prevalent that dc1 doesn’t even dare saying ‘No I’m called xxx and not yyy’ because if he abuse he is getting otherwise. You only have to see comments in this thread to see why....

hazeyjane · 20/02/2019 08:39

nursery staff often call DD2 a shortened version of her name. I don't mind, but I don't use it.

We wouldn't do this at the preschool I work at, we ask what name should be used and stick with that - Id have thought that was common practice and quite important.

IAmWonderWoman · 20/02/2019 08:40

Did you really think this wouldn’t happen? Especially with a name with so many shortenings.

QueenieInFrance · 20/02/2019 08:45

Barbed thé issue is that actually when children are young they are struggling to say ‘NO IM CALLED XXX AND NOT YYY’ to a teacher. And if the teacher is calling them YYY why wouod thé friends not do it too?

And they go to secondary and they are known as YYY by the friends, teachers carry on shortening the name which said teen might not feel able to say NO to - at least that’s what happened woth dc1 in Y7). And by the time you know it, it has become their name, whether they like it or not. And whether the parents like it or not.

Add to that comment such as ‘first world priblem’, you’re just uptight and whatnot that you see in the thread and your u can see why a primary or early secondary school child wouodnt dare saying a thing about it.

So saying it’s just a case for them so say NO is having no idea of what actually happens.
The fact that PARENTS are still using the full name and are annoyed that the shortening also says a lot about how their feelings and wishes have just being n’ignores by everyone. Which isnt acceptable imo when you are talking about young children.

Springwalk · 20/02/2019 08:45

You are being controlling, your dd will form independent friendships with others, and they will have pet names, shortened names etc. It it term of endearment. Insisting on the use of a full name makes you sound very very uptight.

Pk37 · 20/02/2019 08:46

Yabu.

Mog6840 · 20/02/2019 08:49

My name is Megan.

My parents never shortened my name. Growing up I had extended family who affectionately would call me meg and meggy which I liked.
At high school my friends just naturally shortened my name to meg and that's just how I was known. By the time I was 17 I'd introduce myself as Meg. That's just how Ive become known.
My mum and grandma are prob the only ones who call me megan nowadays.

It's a natural to shorten Megan. Like Sam and Samuel. It's going to happen her whole life. You can't be annoyed. It's the name you chose. Sorry

Billben · 20/02/2019 08:51

Christ, in years to come you’ll hopefully realise how trivial this stuff is 😀

diddl · 20/02/2019 08:52

Does your daughter like the other versions?

If so, then that's all OK isn't it?

ShadyLady53 · 20/02/2019 08:53

I don’t think you are being unreasonable to want your daughter to be called by the name you chose for her. I hope she has a say though!

I’d never dream of shortening anyone’s name unless they told me that they commonly went by, say, Em instead of Emily or Dave instead of David.

I’ve got a lovely name which people insist on shortening, usually people men and the occasional lesbian I barely know and who are trying to be overfamiliar get in my pants.

I hate the common shortening of my name as it’s a word that describes something not very pleasant. Think “Tash” for “Natasha” or “Tit” for “Titania”. I say, “Sorry but I really hate being called Tash, please could you call me by name, Natasha?” (but obviously my name isn’t Natasha). Then quite often they get all huffy and offended, no matter how nice and polite I’ve been about it.

I’ve got family members who’ve known for years that I hate it but who continue to do it and have now taught their kids to do the same.

I don’t understand the need to shorten names at all and I’ve often heard shortenings where I’ve thought, “Really? Listen to what you are saying ffs!”...like Nads for Nadia and Nadine, Kirst (Cursed?!) for Kirstin, Cyn/Sin for Cynthia. And the poor owner of the name just sort of smiles weakly like they are well and truly sick of being called by these ugly “pet names” but know they can’t say anything for wont of being accused of being uptight or stuck up.

Caxx · 20/02/2019 08:56

I understand I have a Gabriel teacher calls him gabe I don't like it from a teacher and if he had a nickname I would of indicated on the registration sheet when it asked it

Snog · 20/02/2019 08:56

This is just life, you can't control it and how can it be a surprise in any way?

LoniceraJaponica · 20/02/2019 08:56

It's the main reason my mum gave my sister and me names that couldn't be shortened or turned into nicknames.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 20/02/2019 08:56

I’m with the OP on this. I cannot abide people shortening my name when I've not been introduced that way eg my name is Juliet, why people think they can call me Jue, Jules, Julie etc is beyond me! I have never been introduced as Jue, Jules, Julie! Why do people make up names. It isn’t 'friendly' it is over familiar.

GrumpyOldMare · 20/02/2019 08:59

My parents are the only ones that call me by my full name of Linda.
Everyone else calls me Lin/Linnie/Linniepops/Loobyloo. My parents really aren't bothered-their attitude is that it's MY name and it's up to me what I answer to.