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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by people adjusting my DDs name

272 replies

Blackcelebration73 · 20/02/2019 04:12

My DD is called Megan. We call her Megan at home.
Other people seem to think it’s ok to change it to other versions:
Meg
Meggy
Megs
Her name is Megan and that is what we call her at home.
Aibu to think people should just call her by the name her parents use & not make names up?! It really bloody irritates me

OP posts:
BackforGood · 21/02/2019 20:01

Why on earth would you name your kid Daniel if you hate the name Dan ?

Quite.
We ruled out a few names that we liked because we didn't like the obvious shortenings.

If you’re irritated by this you’re going to spend the rest of your life feeling irritated.

This is it in a nutshell. It’s something that a lot of people do, like it or not. It’s the same with people calling you “dear” or “love”. If they don’t mean any harm or offence by it then I wouldn’t seek to take it (although I do agree it’s polite to call someone by the name by which they introduce themselves to you or refer to themselves).

Quite.

MummyofTw0 · 21/02/2019 20:59

My daughter is only 3 and people shorten her name. I hate it so I always correct people

The reason being, I love her name and the shortened name just feels like a completely
Different name

I do appreciate when she's older though, people will shorten it, especially when she is at school,
And if she chooses to, that's fine

But whilst she's young enough, I'm happy to continue with her true and proper name and ensure that others do too

manicmij · 21/02/2019 21:11

YANBU, To me it is laziness and disrespectful to assume it to be okay to shorten or change your DDs name. Hate to hear all the abbreviations given to names, latest I just cannot hack is Em for Emma. For goodness sake how hard is it to say Emma.

masktaster · 21/02/2019 21:17

Curious about people who say that, as teachers/etc, they defer to a parent - what do you do when the child states a clear preference that goes against parental wishes?

Eg, when I did my teacher training, I was in a Year One class. There was a child in this class called Isobel (name changed). The teacher, and therefore I, referred to her as Isobel. I noticed over time that she was consistently writing "Bella" as her name on her work. When I asked the teacher, he said that that was the child's preferred name ( to the extent that she was Bella at home, at least to her sisters ) but her parents insisted she be called Isobel at school. I still feel sad about this sometimes, as her own preference was being disregarded by her family, and then, because of this, by school.

goose1964 · 21/02/2019 21:24

I'm always known by my full name rather than a diminutive. I just introduce myself by my name, if any one calls me by the accepted diminutive I ignore them because that's DH's name. Let your daughter decide what she wants to do

Motherontheedge1 · 21/02/2019 22:38

Have to say as a teacher I’ve only once been in a position where the child and parents were at odds over the child’s name. On that occasion it was a name that was impossible to shorten and the little boy said it was a girls name and hated it. I often wonder what he calls himself now and whether he’s changed it by deed poll.

Proseccoagain · 21/02/2019 23:08

I had a friend at school called Doreen.
We always used to pronounce it as Dooreen.
Her mother used to say, no, it's D'reeen.
She still got called Dooreen.

Sb74 · 21/02/2019 23:44

My daughter is Megan. We call her Moo moo, Meggy moo, Meggy boo boo, Meg Mog, Boo, Meg- never really Megan unless she’s being naughty. She’s nearly 12. Her friends call her meggy etc too. I don’t mind at all. My son is Thomas so he gets a load of different names too. It’s nice. Relax!!!!!

blueskiesovertheforest · 22/02/2019 06:43

masktaster I used to teach secondary and always started with the register name but if the child asked me to use a conventional shortened form I'd always do so without any reference to the parents. I think this has to be right for children of 11 and over.
Calling them an entirely different name or a really whacky or overly casual nickname (like surname based nicknames) would step too far, but Tom for Thomas, Izzy or Bella for Isabel, or whatever is utterly fair if the child prefers it and any parent who chooses a name they object to the conventional/ traditional diminutive forms of is extremely short sighted!

StarlightLady · 22/02/2019 06:56

Is the issue not what does your daughter like to be called?

PurplePenguins · 22/02/2019 18:52

Everyone's name gets shortened, lengthened or altered. I deliberately chose names that can't or are hard to shorten but people lengthened them instead (similar to Rose altered to Rosie). I dont like but they don't mind so I accept it. People call me by my surname mostly. It is a surname that can be used as a first name. Some people don't actually know what my first name is unless I've introduced myself to them 😂

Louise2092 · 22/02/2019 19:36

You'd hate me then. My sister is Meaghan (pronounced Megan) and I only ever really call her that when talking to people outside of family. To me she's either meagzy, meags or Morgana (started calling her this as a child when she was into Disney as it's the sea witch from little mermaids uglier sister's name... she was 22 before she caught on). She's also often referred to as precious as she's had/has a lot of health issues and to us she is precious as we could have lost hee a few times.

I think it depends on the nickname, the reason behind it and whether or not she likes it. If my sister ever asked me not to call her one of my many names for her then I'd make the effort not to but it's her choice as it's her name.

CountFosco · 22/02/2019 20:39

Is the issue not what does your daughter like to be called?

The OP has repeatedly said her daughter gets annoyed when people don't call her Megan.

Antonin · 23/02/2019 11:11

Don’t move to NZ then OP because Megan ( other spellings are available) is almost invariably pronounced as Mee- gan with the emphasis on the EE sound

Antonin · 23/02/2019 11:21

No idea why but no-one in my immediate or (small) extended family has ever had their name shortened even though the names have an obvious short form. Wish I knew what the secret was as I could then sell it on eBay to MN people who hate nn. Guess never being called a diminutive in childhood by family meant we didn’t label ourselves with one. Do think that there appears to be a greater tendency to use nn now? Certainly the use of S or Z is relatively new. Showing my age, but it seemed to start to become common in the 1960.

Nat6999 · 23/02/2019 11:34

My DS is called Thomas, both pupils & staff at school all him Tom, he hates it, he says to anyone calling him Tom, my name is Thomas. He is called Thomas by family & we wouldn't dream of calling him anything else because Thomas is his name.

Quintella · 23/02/2019 11:41

Meggers

Quintella · 23/02/2019 11:45

I'm a bit bewildered by someone having one son called Joseph that they refer to as Joe and another son called Daniel that they never refer to as Dan but get annoyed if anyone else does! Grin

Quintella · 23/02/2019 11:45

*who they refer to. (apols Joe and Dan!)

pinkstripeycat · 24/02/2019 16:11

I know someone called Abbie. When she was at school teachers would call her Abigail. She got told off for correcting them. Her name is not Abigail shortened to Abbie - it is just Abbie

Piglet89 · 25/02/2019 21:24

Wow, slow news day over at the Sun, was it?

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